Random Rants XLIV: I Can't Find The Answer

[Takhisis]

If you scam them, they'll buy. - Car dealership aphorism.

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

If you scam them, they'll buy. - Car dealership aphorism.

It's a known method but highly unlikely to get you anywhere near the level of success that it can be taken to.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Thanks for the props Arakhor and rugbyLEAGUEfan!

On car-selling scams, I actually have a rant:
Salesmen from states with lax title laws (Mississippi and a few others) are flooding into the areas affected by hurricane Sandy to scoop up abandoned cars. They are refurbishing them and abusing the lax title laws of their states to manipulate the official documentation so that it does not mention the flood damage and spotted history of the cars and then selling them as 'slightly used' cars to unsuspecting consumers.

Capitalism FTW?

 

[Angst]

That sounds quite contradictory to me.



My heart has just been jaded from the failed relationships I had. I want a girlfriend/wife in the near future...

...however my own inhibitions are blocking me from that (unemployed virgin still living with parents.)

Yo, this is a late answer for something two pages ago (And I'm too lazy to read both pages right now).

So. Long line of insanity inbound. It was intended as a short reply, but I managed to mix a lot of rambling pessimism (with a smile!) into it, which is why I spoiler'd. I don't particularly support the specifics of what I say, it's all nonsense, but I hope you get the general gist of it.

Spoiler :

I used to be really shy, and I'm not anymore. I've taught myself to hit on girls properly and have found out that they actually like me and that most of my first attempts were in vain due to me not being obvious enough.

Anyways, about the supposed contradiction of shyness nurturing itself from your ego: It's often true. If you're expecting too much of yourself due to a warped idea of how great you are and feel a need to shield your ego from being hurt, it's often shyness.

There's no need to protect your ego from failing. We all fail and all deserve to.

What I've personally realized (which is a dark view of things) is that everyone in this world, including myself, does not live up to any kind of greatness. Rather, everyone is an unimportant creature of sad indifference. Shyness often results from great expectations of how you & your things should be, but in reality, the whole world is a miserable place. The trick is to celebrate it with all the other creatures of misery in this black void we call reality. I smile at it, think it hilarious, spit it in the face, and savor the small things with people that are as ungreat as myself. It's actually a lot of fun (And makes for great music.)

Spending a lot of time alone can make you be very afraid of doing wrong things. Isolation can cause you to emphasize too much on the things that you did wrong that one time. In reality, most adult people forget about it or don't care about you enough to make a deal out of it. So there's no need to not try socializing.

And girls get hit on all the time; if they can't handle it like a proper human being (eg if you attemp kissing someone at a party and they reject you - and afterwards spend a lot of time showing you that you're dirt with vile looks or attempted mockery or -faces) they usually have some kind of confidence issue which they feel a need to overcome by telling themselves of how much better they are than you. Again, to what I understand of this world, they forget that they're not supposed (or able) to contain any eminence at all. If you'd notice, the above behavior is very immature and highschooly; the age of insufficience and the need to confirm oneself's social standing; it's been a really nice experience for me to grow up and figure out that people were actually not that ridiculous from the twenties onwards.

Anyways, point is that all individuals experience some kind of insufficience which is what is the root for shyness to some individuals. I overcame shyness personally by realizing the insufficience was irrational, and natural. I see no people as sufficient in themselves and all people as having the same reason to be shy as you have. They just learn not to care.

Or perhaps savour the thrill of nervousity rather than fear it? I get suuuch a good kick out of not knowing how a girl might react when I move my face towars hers. It's the best part, actually...

The world is a horrible place with miserable people and it will never change. Let's celebrate that.

 

[azzaman333]

while we're on the subject of relationships, I'm particularly just not cut out for good 1:1 conversations (male friends or female, and I am heterosexual for romantic interest). I just don't have anything to say.

Today I had the actual opportunity to try to talk to a girl! (imagine that!) at the running club I infrequently go to. Not only did >1 or 2 women show up for once, but said girl came up to me! and tried to talk a little bit since it was the time that people show up at and only a few people were there at that moment (and she was just showing up for first times to the club). And I just had nothing to say.

I know it's quite sad, but it's been a long time since I talked to a girl outside of a class (which is ~10-20% women depending on the course). I could have had an *actual normal* happenstance encounter with someone--not through the like 2-5 girls that inhabit classes or a mutual friends or something--and I just completely don't socially function. I just monotonously say "yeah" "yup" "my name is [Kennigit], nice to meet you" etc etc; can't have a conversation.

which actually I quite like being alone most of the time/having a very small circle of friends, but I am alas cursed having been able to be fall romantically in love with someone but show myself to have the personality of a rock. Which incidentally rock related, I've accidentally kicked rocks into girl's legs before

I know that general feeling all too well.

 

[Tee Kay]

Final goodbyes to friends at airport were... weird, not in a good way. Or I'm just reading too much into it again.

related note, ~1 hour after that encounter I have to curse biology for not evolving out male nipples. "Fissure of the nipple" aka nipple chafing really can hurt. Infrequent running already is tiring enough, why add extra pain?

At least we don't have to deal with period pains. I hear they can be quite excruciating.

Hobbs makes a very important point. The number one thing I've learnt from selling cars is that there really isn't anything you can say to actually sell something (in this case yourself). All you can do is ask the right questions to lead someone in a certain direction so that they come to the conclusion you wish them to by themselves.

Ask smart questions, they give smart answers, they feel empowered by their new found intelligence and will love for you for it.

Pander to and answer their dumb questions, have a dumb conversation, they'll feel stupid and blame you for it.

Eeyup. As with everything else, easier said than done. I'm trying though.

 

[Kennigit]

the great apes all have menstrual cycles though (though other mammals don't; no clue why the great apes have it) but no purely male of any species needs nipples; that trait should uncouple for male/female fetus gosh dernit

 

[Zelig]

Rant: You know where you're sitting around contemplating life and realize you are not a very nice person?

Nope.

I don't care about being a nice person though.

I go for objective awesomeness instead, which happens to include honesty and virtuosity that people mistake for niceness.

I know that general feeling all too well.

Not me.

My problem is that I have a lot of incredibly interesting things to say and get bored talking to people when they can't hold up their end of the conversation or offer any useful input.

 

[The_J]

Now, that does not even qualify anymore as 1st world problem .

That is irrelevant.

Naaah, don't be so pessimistic.
Not even I am.

Saying something like 'it must be cold, I can see your nipples' or 'those sweatpants are kind of ratty, is this the bad week?' are examples of doing it wrong in the creepiest way possible.

But agree on the rest.
I'm a totally boring person, but normally can manage to have a normal conversation...about whatever, if the atmosphere allows it.
If you don't have much sympathy for the other person, then it's sure a bigger problem.

 

[Synobun]

My power went out for 9 hours for seemingly no reason.

 

[JohannaK]

Naaah, don't be so pessimistic.
Not even I am.

That does not disqualify me for greater pessimism.

 

[GenMarshall]

Rant: Sooo much time tweaking Minecraft: Feed the Beast (adding mods and modifying texture packs), so little actually playing it.

On car-selling scams, I actually have a rant:
Salesmen from states with lax title laws (Mississippi and a few others) are flooding into the areas affected by hurricane Sandy to scoop up abandoned cars. They are refurbishing them and abusing the lax title laws of their states to manipulate the official documentation so that it does not mention the flood damage and spotted history of the cars and then selling them as 'slightly used' cars to unsuspecting consumers.

Capitalism FTW?

Reverse carpet baggers?

Final goodbyes to friends at airport were... weird, not in a good way. Or I'm just reading too much into it again.

You're reading too much into it TK.

So. Long line of insanity inbound. It was intended as a short reply, but I managed to mix a lot of rambling pessimism (with a smile!) into it, which is why I spoiler'd. I don't particularly support the specifics of what I say, it's all nonsense, but I hope you get the general gist of it.

I may have to sit-down and read though that again, after I've woken up .

 

[JohannaK]

You're reading too much into it TK.

This totally and completely. I guess.

 

[Visorslash]

the great apes all have menstrual cycles though (though other mammals don't; no clue why the great apes have it) but no purely male of any species needs nipples; that trait should uncouple for male/female fetus gosh dernit

Calling them great apes is getting off to a bad start.

And I will probably be reiterating what Hobbs said, but to people like Kennigit/Choxorn(?), etc who are at Uni, here is my advice.

You have plenty of questions to ask. Their degree (what are you doing/what is it like/are you enjoying it/what do you want to get out of it, etc). Ask them about their subject, how are they finding it, etc. If they have some form of outrageous dress such as multicoloured hair, you could ask them about it. You could ask them about their hobbies (and if they ask you in return, don't say mafia! or just video games), say some 'normal hobbies' like a sport or two, woodwork, or something. Seem well rounded. (make sure you have at least one or two interests though which you should already have). Make sure you're actually into a conversation before you bring up that one.

Ask them about their college/off college room/house/dorm whatever, ask them what it is like. Ask them what they have been up to, etc. Don't just let yourself be the one asking questions though, that would be weird. Tell jokes that are relevant. (and actually funny. test on someone you know or here or whatever first if you are really that unsure).

These are basic things. And at least project some kind of confidence. It makes talking to them a lot easier.

After a while, you'll be able to tell whether they are actually interested in you in any sense, due to their answers and whatnot.

EDIT: Going to a club or whatnot is obviously different to this. The above is a conversation.

 

[Kennigit]

holy f there were 2 armed robberies around 1:30 AM in the middle of campus that seems to be related (suspect with handgun going into a silver car to drive away).

it's kind of common to hear small Clery Act alerts for stuff around campus (often it is muggings at like 2:00 AM) but I don't think I've heard of a robbery this bad on campus; the previous "worst" things was a minor stab wound to a student like right across the street from campus and some attempted car theft deal. Also one minor guy-trying-to-touch-a-women at like 10 PM at night in smack dab middle of campus, which was odd because the alerts happen at 2:00 AM near campus and not to students. (those cases listed above all happened to students).

that's quite bad :/

 

[NickyJ]

My computer gave me a scare. When I powered it up, it started indexing files. I fear for my hard drive. As a result, I have made backups of all my most precious files. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, though.

 

[Zelig]

My computer gave me a scare. When I powered it up, it started indexing files. I fear for my hard drive. As a result, I have made backups of all my most precious files. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, though.

You should be doing real-time automatic backups of all your most precious files.

Skydrive is my first recommendation, if that's not your style, Dropbox or Spideroak are also good.

 

[NickyJ]

I've got it set up so that all my important files are backed up every day now with Duplicati.

 

[DroopyTofu]

Saturday I was wearing shorts and flip flop sandals. Then I spent Monday and Tuesday night checking to see if I'd get a snow day. I love Tennessee weather, but now I'm stuck with no flip flops and no snow day!

 

[LegionSteve]

Last night I had a quite unpleasant dream where I was watching a horse race, and there was a terrible collision and several horses were killed.

Now I never watch horse racing, don't come into contact with horses IRL very often, and never dreamed about horses before so I have no idea where that came from.

Then I got up this morning, turned on the radio and heard about this: 'Horsemeat beefburgers' investigated in UK and Ireland