Random thoughts 1: Just Sayin'
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Synobun
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I'm thankful you retorted with this, because when you convert it back to the situation at hand you're essentially saying "if you're desperate/horny, go for the closest option with no regard for what you actually want".
Which is pretty bad advice. I don't think there are many instances where following your desperation ends well.
bernie14
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well, my responses were never directed at you vincour, they were directed at someone who seems to be willing to take some chances at a relationship (that’s the hunger part if your interpretation of desperation was perhaps a little more personal) but we can always ask....GoodEnough, do you consider yourself "desperate/horny, [willing to] go for the closest option with no regard for what you actually want"??? that’s not the impression you gave me...
bernie14
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Says the married man...
That wasn't the point Vincour was making.
Let's say I wanted to find a date. My possibilities include an evangelical Protestant who wants to tell me all about his church and why he thinks I should attend. There is no way on this planet that I would ever be desperate enough to date someone like that. Been there, done that, when a guy I knew in college decided he was "born again" and after that he replaced interesting conversation with preaching and bible verses, and he got upset when I corrected him on several points.
bernie14
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The thing is the comparisons are not equivalent. ..you are 54....you have had a set of (and currently undergo) experiences that perhaps has led you to "been there, done that", although you should watch for self fulfilling prophecies and self sabotage .....regardless, @GoodEnoughForMe has been on a couple of dates, with a couple of girls, total.....so how is he going to learn....how is he going to experience? How is he going to reach his conclusion of "been there done that ".....avoiding interactions with others?, making quick assumptions so as to discount an opportunity? If, as he says, he does want freinds and relationships, he has to do some socializing, no ?....has less to do with your own expectations and more to do with the actual interactions.
I would say the same thing to anyone, regardless of age. At some point it's necessary to set a few personal markers of what's good, what's maybe, and what's a dealbreaker. These may shift over time, but it's important to consider them.
Vincour's point was that if you've decided that you definitely prefer one choice, having someone nag you to try a completely different choice can be counterproductive.
We were asked for feedback on this, and I gave mine. Granted, my views of bigotry are more based on interactions with my mother, than based on interactions with a guy. But I'd have felt the same contempt for a guy if he had displayed the attitudes that my mother did. My grandfather also held bigoted views, but thankfully he never embarrassed me in public with them, like my mother did.
Vincour's point was that if you've decided that you definitely prefer one choice, having someone nag you to try a completely different choice can be counterproductive.
We were asked for feedback on this, and I gave mine. Granted, my views of bigotry are more based on interactions with my mother, than based on interactions with a guy. But I'd have felt the same contempt for a guy if he had displayed the attitudes that my mother did. My grandfather also held bigoted views, but thankfully he never embarrassed me in public with them, like my mother did.
Farm Boy
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It wasn't at Christmas, and the only people present were my mother, me, and the person she either talked about, or whom she offended.
One of the people I worked with in the theatre was a man from India - he was perfectly comfortable either being on stage or working on one of the backstage crews. We both worked backstage the first year I joined. So it turned out one night that my mother and I were leaving a restaurant just as this guy and his wife were walking in (she's white, btw). He greeted me by name, asked all the usual pleasantries people exchange, and both of us continued on.
Outside, my mother asked, "Do you know him?"... in the disapproving tone of voice of "how do you know somebody like that?". I told her about the theatre - I was on the properties crew, and he was on the set-building crew (the show we were doing that spring was "Kiss Me, Kate").
Many years later we were in her car, and she said she had to stop and get gas. We pulled into the nearest place, and the first words out of her mouth to the kid at the pumps were, "Is this gas station owned by white people?"
The kid at the pumps was maybe 18 years old (white), and absolutely shocked. I was never so ashamed to be seen with anyone as I was at that moment. And if we hadn't been across town - and too far from a bus stop - I would gotten out right then and there and made my own way home. Practicality won out that day, but I've never forgiven nor forgotten that incident.
My mother just had this prejudice against anyone from India, Pakistan, or anywhere else around there. She didn't like it that I had lunch occasionally at a downtown restaurant run by a Pakistani family (the food was good and affordable, the restaurant was quiet and relaxing, so why not?).
She also had a streak of paranoia that anyone speaking a foreign language around her was automatically talking about her, but that's a whole other thing.
EgonSpengler
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Am I weird for thinking that Cate Blanchett looks kinda sexy in these Thor: Ragnarok trailers? I mean, they had me with "a superhero movie directed by Taika Waititi", but she sure ain't hurtin' the cause.
Synobun
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Nah. The Maleficent-esque aesthetic is pretty neat.
Snerk
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What shoe size is a European 43 1/2 in US shoe size?
Synobun
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9.5 to 10.
Snerk
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And if you had to land on one of those for a guesstimate of my size?
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