Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Seon]

I scavange the weapon system o the GDR

 

[landlubber]

I hurt another inmate so the guards are forced to come take me away.

 

[Abaddon]

Reading my map, I travel to the helm.

 

[!!!!!]

i find out my piggys sex

 

[civplayah]

Nu-uh. I become invincible to my masochistic affairs.

 

[Darth Caesar]

Cancel my last action. I crawl to the infirmary and get patched up.

 

[mythmonster2]

Make sure the ship is on route to... wherever.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I scavange the weapon system o the GDR

9: It's far too cumbersome to use.

I hurt another inmate so the guards are forced to come take me away.

10: The cell is enclosed, and you are alone.

Reading my map, I travel to the helm.

18: In no time, you reach the door to the bridge.

i find out my piggys sex

9: You already have.

Nu-uh. I become invincible to my masochistic affairs.

10 (8): There must be some sort of irony in all this.

I crawl to the infirmary and get patched up.

11: You manage to drag yourself to the emergency ward where the doctors stop your blood loss.

Make sure the ship is on route to... wherever.

3 (4): You enter a brief frenzy and run about throwing switches and flipping dials all over the place, then spin around so fast that you have not the slightest clue if the ship is still on course.

 

[Abaddon]

As i am the commander, it opens for me.

 

[civplayah]

I'll just hit myself some more, since nothing else I do seems to be working.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I have them restore my health and give me cyberkinetic implants.

 

[landlubber]

I leave my aching body and become a spirit.

 

[mythmonster2]

Look around for a pilot's manual.

 

[Seon]

Run up to the infirmary and shoot the doctor as he does some intricate surgery on Darth Caesar.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

As i am the commander, it opens for me.

10: You may think you're the commander, but the computer doesn't.

I'll just hit myself some more, since nothing else I do seems to be working.

15 (13): You knock out another 7 hitpoints.

I have them restore my health and give me cyberkinetic implants.

6: This is a clinic, not a science lab. Besides, you don't have the cash.

I leave my aching body and become a spirit.

2: The agony of your material existence furthers your suffering by -12 hitpoints.

Look around for a pilot's manual.

9 (10): Nuffink 'round 'ere, guv.

Run up to the infirmary and shoot the doctor as he does some intricate surgery on Darth Caesar.

2: You trip on the staircase and rebound-shoot yourself for 22 damage. Security deems you dangerous and throws you in the brig after confiscating your items.

 

[Seon]

I spin around and around until I vomit. Then, when the guard comes to check on me, beat him up and take his stuff.

 

[Abaddon]

I hack the system, so it thinks I am the commander.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I go back to the GDR and finish building it.

 

[landlubber]

I try once again to free myself of my body terrorized by pain.

 

[mythmonster2]

Search for the pilot.