Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition
- Thread starter Thorvald of Lym
- Start date
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
4 (5): Ohey, it's those PRC commandos from earlier!Ailedhoo said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
8 (10): They engage at range, dealing 5 damage.
8 (13): You fire a precision laser beam at the target coordinates.JohannaK said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
20 (16): George knows your moves, deploying a hidden mirror array that reflects the blast back at your ship! Your shields lose 23% integrity.
ROLL TO DODGE!
20 (20): CivCube has a similar idea, grabbing a concave metal sheet and deflecting the beam into the infantry division for a staggering 66 damage!
3: Oh, you provoke him alright: Texas gets a +4 buff to its attack this turn! Also, ground AA gets a lock.Omega124 said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
8 (10): Steady streams of Vulcan fire rake your jet for 9 damage.
8 (10): You don't have a proper launch platform, and a tactical nuke isn't the sort of thing you want to try with a baseball pitch. Executive Power exhausted, George just focuses on getting the hell out of here.CivCube said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
4 (9): Caught up in your Fat Man dilemma, you fail to catch him before he slips away to recuperate. At least that infantry division will keep your company.
ROLL TO DODGE!
18 (20): You take out your frustration on the helpless conscripts to devastating effect, inflicting 22 damage. Watch yourself, though, because a mechanized division's arrived to flank you!
ROLL TO DODGE!
12 (15): You nonetheless manage to hold your ground, delivering a complementary 15 damage to the new arrivals.
The EKNC sets its sights on northern India.
ROLL TO DODGE!
10 (5): Wary of the Pakistani losses, India has fortified the frontier to the tune of 2 defence. Meanwhile, Ted Cruz rises to Omega's challenge.
ROLL TO DODGE!
15 (11): The fundies move in on Louisiana to stamp out that degenerate black noise they call "jazz".
CivGeneral is declared AWOL.
CubeCannon swaps Omega124 and Big Bill Hell!
Omega124
Challenging Fate
I use my supersonic jet to get back into the fight
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I fire my mass drivers at George. Ammo you can't deflect.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
Frank and I take a trek to Egypt with the tank.
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Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
5: You make it to Nigeria before running out of fuel.Omega124 said:
8 (9): It'll take you three turns to build up enough centrifugal force to launch all bombs at once. In the mean time, accuracy of all other weapons is reduced -5. Meanwhile, the 49th Division aggresses!CivCube said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (6): You're subject to heavy fire for 17 damage, disabling your AK-47! The 33rd Division promptly makes its move.
ROLL TO DODGE!
20 (20): Spinning your lower body in opposite rotation to your torso, you descend upon the division like a sawblade welded to a spinny-top, inflicting 30 damage and breaking the flanking. The 49th Division will also have considerable trouble hitting you, now that their comrades are blocking the way. Just as you prepare to revel in your victory, another division arrives.
ROLL TO DODGE!
8 (10): Engaged as you are, you can't stop the new unit from delivering 7 damage in pot-shots.
14 (16): You gain a +2 defence bonus from a rocky outcropping as you manage to keep the squad at bay.Ailedhoo said:
[AUTO-FAIL]: You have no clue where he is. Unless the Boss is in direct combat with another player, he's invisible and essentially untargetable.JohannaK said:
10: The two of you hauling the tank is gonna tire you out pretty quick. Maybe consider driving it?CivGeneral said:
The Eternal Kingdom renews its assault on Pakistan.
ROLL TO DODGE!
19 (14): A bloody assault conquers most of the country's north. Meanwhile, Cruz moves to secure the border... by flushing out the Mexicans with force.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1 (1): Using the Wall to its own advantage, the Mexican army funnels the attack through easily-ambushable chokepoints, earning a +3 defence that prevents further attacks for the next ten turns!
CubeCannon swaps the Chinese Commandos and the Den of Snakes!
Sensing the inherent evil of Ailedhoo, the snakes attack!
ROLL TO DODGE!
5 (8): Ailedhoo is bitten for 8 damage, and poisoned for an additional -2 hp/turn!
Omega124
Challenging Fate
Siiiiiigh.
I stop by the local gas station to refuel
I stop by the local gas station to refuel
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I bombard Ted Cruz's Texas HQ.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
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Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
4 (7): Your mask is in the way.Ailedhoo said:
17 (18): You treat these monarchist mooks to a simulation of the inside quarters of an electric blender, dealing 14, 16, and 21 damage to the 49th, 33rd, and 52nd Divisions, respectively, before being joined by the 11th Armoured.CivCube said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
19 (18): You're so whipped up, you manage to catch the incoming shells like a turbine and hurl them back at the tanks for 24 armour-piercing damage!
1: You're literally out of fuel, and go plunging straight into that gas station at terminal velocity.Omega124 said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
7 (9): The ejector throws you clear of the crash, but the parachute deploys late and you suffer -11 hitpoints from a hard landing.
8 (13): You scatter high command, impeding this turn's strike 1 point.JohannaK said:
20: You roll into Cairo LEIK A BAWZ. The journey has also netted both of you experience with the tank's handling, giving you a +2 mobility bonus while using it.CivGeneral said:
The Eternal Kingdom tries to break the Curse of Empires and seize Afghanistan.
ROLL TO DODGE!
19 (14): Monarchist terrorists sweep into the northeast highlands. Meanwhile, Ted Cruz waits out his penalties by launching an invasion of his ancestral homeland,
ROLL TO DODGE!
11 (5): Still not as laughable as the Bay of Pigs, the assault is routed and Cuba fortifies 1 point.
With Omega stranded in Africa, the Redcaps launch a reprisal campaign against the Bluecapes!
ROLL TO DODGE!
15 (17): Dug in and committed to the cause, the partisans force another humiliating retreat, seizing abandoned weapons and vehicles for their own use, improving mobility.
CubeCannon swaps CivGeneral (with Frank Drebbin) and the Master!
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
While up in orbit I perform a tantric ceremony with mantra chanting and an elaborate ritual to attune myself closer to the universe and improve all of my abilities. (Musical performance bonus applies)
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
Frank and I drive down to Cape Canaveral, Florida to acquire a Victory Star Destroyer.
Omega124
Challenging Fate
I send a new team of investigators to Norway over this terrible luck I've been having >:c
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