Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Double A]

lolwut?

 

[mythmonster2]

(Talking to DrumStudent)

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Sorry for the delay.

I attempt to remove the curse I accidentally placed upon myself

19: NOT ONLY, BUT ALSO you gain immunity to curses through fortifying your sense of divinity.

I teleport with the mage to Dnipropetrovsk.

10: You don't make it across the sea, but Horace manages to magic you to shore.

I head off into the woods

12 (15): You befriend a badger.

Someone tells me how to join the game "formally."

Someone tells you: "After Round Two starts, simply dictate an action."

Put on my Ring of Invisibility.

2: It slips into the raging mass of rats. They attack you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9: You suffer another 10 damage.

I activate my helicopter's good-luck-charm-seeking radar to try to find something to improve my rolls.

5: The radar scan triggers the TLO-36 automated anti-air emplacement!
ROLL TO DODGE!
18 (20): You blow it away.

I get another fortune cookie and see what that says

18 (15): A blonde from afar has a special item for you.

Once again, regenerate my brain.

4 (2): You wander into oncoming traffic.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1 (1): You take 30 damage as you are hit by a delivery van; you fall prone into the middle of the street, where vulnerability to traffic from both directions lowers your defences by 2.

Couldn't take my power, could you? Can you at least leave me your weapons?

15 (16): You loot the retiree for his weapons.

mythmonster2's police pause their attack against Anonymoose to reload their weapons.
The Keres pick up the slack.
ROLL TO DODGE!
14: They inflict 15 damage.

 

[Seon]

I summon a horde of angelic posses designed to track down fugitives and arrest them.

 

[kill fire]

Okay, bad idea. Let's just teleport there.

 

[mythmonster2]

Fire at Anonymoose with the Uzi.

 

[Double A]

But I already said I look for a lightsaber...

 

[choxorn]

You know what, Milwaukee sucks, I fly to Ireland and look for good luck charms there.

 

[Double A]

Or you could just go to Food Lion.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I summon a horde of angelic posses designed to track down fugitives and arrest them.

10: They locate no evildoers.

Okay, bad idea. Let's just teleport there.

13: You arrive at a small harbour.

Fire at Anonymoose with the Uzi.

4 (5): His psychic powers deflect the bullets back at you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (7): A few graze you for 14 damage.

But I already said I look for a lightsaber...

Round Two hasn't started yet. We have to get through all these guys first.

You know what, Milwaukee sucks, I fly to Ireland and look for good luck charms there.

5: Some IRA rejects bring you in their sights.
ROLL TO DODGE!
14 (16): You expertly evade their fire while scattering them with your own.

The rats continue their attack.
ROLL TO DODGE!
17: tuxedohamm slays another 300.

civplayah is dangerously close to death!

 

[choxorn]

Oh, come on! At least I'm rolling the dodge rolls high.

Having scattered the IRA, I follow the rainbow and look for the leprechaun's pot of gold.

 

[kill fire]

I figure out where I'm supposed to go from here.

 

[Anonymoose]

I apologize for my absence.
I heal myself to full health!!!

 

[Double A]

So... when's round 2?

 

[civplayah]

EMTs rush me to a hospital.

 

[Seon]

Isummon a angelic horde of bloodhounds

 

[mythmonster2]

Strike at Anonymoose's neck with the sword.

 

[TheBladeRoden]

I check to make sure the blonde is female, and preferably hot.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Having scattered the IRA, I follow the rainbow and look for the leprechaun's pot of gold.

16: You find One Million Dollars.

I figure out where I'm supposed to go from here.

3: You ask for directions and are accosted by the mafia.
ROLL TO DODGE!
19 (20): You KILL THEM ALL. You are now don of the Ukrainian mafia.

I apologize for my absence.
I heal myself to full health!!!

12: You recover 50 hitpoints.

So... when's round 2?

Once these guys have bumped each other off.

EMTs rush me to a hospital.

12 (10): You are rushed into the hospital and into the wrong theatre.

Isummon a angelic horde of bloodhounds

7: Somewhere in the city, a pack of bloodhounds congregate roughly below you.

Strike at Anonymoose's neck with the sword.

1 (2): You injure yourself for 20 damage.

I check to make sure the blonde is female, and preferably hot.

7 (4): She's 50-ish and has a bad attitude.

 

[Seon]

I forge a spear that can shoot lightnings.