Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Thorvald of Lym]

Then we shall waste no time plugging the hole.

13: Your vessel is seaworthy once more.

I search for Rebecca Chambers in the hotel

12: Third floor, Room 352.

I go look for stufv.

7: Everything else appears to be under lock and key.

I use my cleats to dig through the sand for items.

18: You find a loaded AK-47. Though dirty, it still works.

I kill Double A.

4: Double A calls in another airstrike on you for 15 damage.

Regain full functionality.

10 (8): Your repair systems are shot, apparently.

Knock out civplayah.

7: You only make him stagger a bit.

I kill the hobo.

14: You leave him to die on the ground.

 

[merciary]

I carry to dying hobo onto the alter and see if the gods like this sacrifice any better.

 

[landlubber]

I go searching for the ship that has wronged me so.

 

[kill fire]

I do nothing so perfectly that something good happens.

 

[GenMarshall]

I head to the following location:
Third floor, Room 352

 

[civplayah]

Since Double A isn't really playing anymore, I attack mythmonster.

 

[mythmonster2]

I steal my knife back.

 

[Seon]

I sacrifice an unborn child to the G0d oph 1u(k

 

[Abaddon]

eat a carrot

 

[!!!!!]

figure out some way to bring basic defense into saving the capybara that merciary has so I get +2 on the roll and save the capybara

 

[remake20]

I search for a hospital to heal myself.

 

[Double A]

I gain back all the health I lost since Friday or 30 health, whichever is more.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I carry to dying hobo onto the alter and see if the gods like this sacrifice any better.

5: They like it less, and withdraw 7 of your hitpoints in recompense.

I go searching for the ship that has wronged me so.

9: It appears to have sailed on.

I do nothing so perfectly that something good happens.

14: A wholesale supplier walks in looking for scrap metal.

I head to the following location:
Third floor, Room 352

12: You ascend the elevator and stop at the end of the hall.

Since Double A isn't really playing anymore, I attack mythmonster.

9: He dodges out of harm's way.

I steal my knife back.

17: You reclaim your weapon while dragging it across civplayah for 13 damage.

I sacrifice an unborn child to the G0d oph 1u(k

10 (8): Maybe a living one would have worked.

eat a carrot

2: You choke on it, and will take ongoing 5 damage until your oesophagus is cleared.

figure out some way to bring basic defense into saving the capybara that merciary has so I get +2 on the roll and save the capybara

10: Unfortunately it has already been sacrificed.

I search for a hospital to heal myself.

20: You trek to the city, are rushed through the emergency room, and are patched up to full health with a complement of 3 medkits.

I gain back all the health I lost since Friday or 30 health, whichever is more.

15: You're back to full health.

 

[mythmonster2]

Chop off civplayah's other arm.

 

[landlubber]

Then I look around again and see if I spot something else.

 

[merciary]

I bury the hobo near the temple and ask for guidance.

 

[kill fire]

I see what I can get for the spare parts in my inventory.

 

[Double A]

Glass KFC's spare parts.

 

[kill fire]

But if you try to glass glass then the glass will glass the glass and the glassed glassing glass will glass you into glass.

 

[Double A]

Fair point.

Instead of glassing his glass, just glass KFC.