Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[landlubber]

I try to find another animal to harass.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I try to steal the keys off of a guard and run when they aren't looking.

 

[Boundless]

I sell my photos for good money to Abaddon's safari tour group.

 

[Verarde]

I look around for some type of animal to ride.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

The Cascadian Party gets voted into office.

10: You've yet to spread word through the American mainland.

I heal myself.

12: You stop the bleeding.

I talk dirty to Attlee and convince him to come out of the closet.

13: He spits you out.

I heal myself

13: You patch yourself up.

I threaten the officers that have locked me up with legal action, as I am guilty of no crime whatsoever. Also, my lawyer is Phoenix Wright.

8: They tell you to keep it down; someone's on the phone.

I make baby rhinos :3

8: You sculpt some out of mud.

I go into politics

15: You get a high-profile job in the Unified Lumumbist Party, earning a salary of $10/turn.

I try to find another animal to harass.

2 (3): You piss off a spotted hyena.
ROLL TO DODGE!
11 (12): You dodge its lunge.

I try to steal the keys off of a guard and run when they aren't looking.

6: He notices, and slaps your hand for 3 damage.

I sell my photos for good money to Abaddon's safari tour group.

18: You get a whopping $37, and further tarnish his reputation.

I look around for some type of animal to ride.

15: You mingle with a herd of wildebeest.

 

[landlubber]

I try to improve my luck with the animals.

 

[Red_Spy]

I repair the plate now.

 

[Skwink]

Sam and I film an ad.

 

[Verarde]

I attempt to tame a wildebeest.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I confess to Attlee that I love him.



(EDIT: In regards to the cheap sale on invisibility cloaks below, I wonder... does that pricing mean that Skwink can buy more than 45 000 of them? )

 

[Boundless]

I use $10 to buy myself an invisibility cloak.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I try to break the bars to get out of the prison.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I get elected to senate

 

[hoplitejoe]

Due to my strength the babies become alive.

 

[hendo]

Ah, that must be my embassy giving them a grilling and demanding my release.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Sorry again. My services have been regularly volunteered this past week.

I try to improve my luck with the animals.

5: Might wanna get that wound looked at first.

I repair the plate now.

12: With trembling hands, you start Krazy Gluing it together again.

Sam and I film an ad.

2: It's disjointed, amateur in style, and turns a lot of even the die-hards away from the movement.

I attempt to tame a wildebeest.

16: You manage to get one trustful enough that you can ride it.

I confess to Attlee that I love him.

7: He doesn't swing that way.

I use $10 to buy myself an invisibility cloak.

17: The cloak grants you a +2 bonus to defensive manoeuvres.

I try to break the bars to get out of the prison.

7: You try bending them to your will, but alas, you're not that strong.

I get elected to senate

13: So you do, gaining a salary increase to +$12/turn.

Due to my strength the babies become alive.

5 (6): This requires a different kind of strength.

Using my Infamy I get a full time job as a guide, with a wage!

8 (7): Ah, but PR needs people the customers will feel at ease with.

Ah, that must be my embassy giving them a grilling and demanding my release.

13: They don't know who you are, but will accept you onto the premises and see what they can sort out. You are released from custody.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I give Attlee the secret sign of the Homosexual Law Reform Society in the insane hope that even if he won't admit to batting for the same team, he will still team up with me.

 

[Red_Spy]

I tell the boss I am finished with the dishes.

 

[Skwink]

I show people how I'll lower taxes and spending more and still make a profit surplus, in oder to win support.

 

[landlubber]

I get the wound looked at.