Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Zack]

I inform the media that I am wholesome and that above all, I love God and puppies.

 

[civplayah]

I smite kill fire.

 

[Anonymoose]

I call forth the rest of the telekinetic moose herd to aid me in my struggle and rid the world of its ills.

 

[Abaddon]

I add whatever I roll to Anonymoose's roll

(YO ANONYMOOSE, WANA ALLIANCE?)

 

[Earthling]

All right, 1982, imma let you finish, but that was the best time travel trip of all time, of all time!

I return to Stanford/go find my DeLorean.

8 turns to the challenge in the game of kings, yes?

 

[Anonymoose]

I add whatever I roll to Anonymoose's roll

(YO ANONYMOOSE, WANA ALLIANCE?)

/moose_sound
(That's an affirmative on the alliance, we have a bestrfcplayer to finish off.)

 

[bestrfcplayer]

/moose_sound
(That's an affirmative on the alliance, we have a bestrfcplayer to finish off.)

Why do you guys want to kill ME off again?

 

[Anonymoose]

It's just the normal paradigm of demon and moose cooperatives. It's hardly personal.

 

[kill fire]

I power into SUPER SAIYAN 2!

 

[tuxedohamm]

With it disguised as a fancy new Blackberry, give the leech pack to the President.

 

[mythmonster2]

I shoot at anonymoose again.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

My troops fight there way to the top of the whitehouse and proclaim me Emperor of America.

2: The rebels attempt to storm the White House and are slaughtered. The Secret Service attacks you again.
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (13): They all hit... their comrade.

I go to a hospital in France to heal myself. Hope it works out the FIRST time this time.

4 (2): You trip and fall, suffering 4 damage.

I check my equipment and correct my course, making sure to actually reach DC this time.

16: Welcome to the Capital.

I stumble across a coin that I hope will bring me better luck

3: You literally stumble across a coin.
ROLL TO DODGE!
10 (11): You recover without sustaining any damage.

I forge a sword that shoots swords.

10: You forge a regular, two-handed sword.

I inform the media that I am wholesome and that above all, I love God and puppies.

9: The media does not see this as a topic of interest.

I smite kill fire.

19: A co-ordinated attack from Heaven reduces his health to a paltry 10 hp.

I call forth the rest of the telekinetic moose herd to aid me in my struggle and rid the world of its ills.

12: Four moose hurry to your position.

I add whatever I roll to Anonymoose's roll

4 (5): Anonymoose gains one more moose in his posse. However,
Divine Intervention: 18
ROLL TO DODGE!
17 (18): You easily evade that computer monitor.

I return to Stanford/go find my DeLorean.

19: You inexplicably find $200 on the driver's seat.

I power into SUPER SAIYAN 2!

3: You lose 5 hitpoints.

With it disguised as a fancy new Blackberry, give the leech pack to the President.

16: You hear cries of pain from the Oval Office.

I shoot at anonymoose again.

6: The combined telekinetic power of his herd deflects the projectiles back at you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5: The turbulence shakes you out of 10 hp.

Abaddon and Anonymoose have formed a pact! One eye forward, one eye back.

 

[civplayah]

I take kill fire's last five hitpoints out from under him.

 

[choxorn]

Well, looks like my ally is about to die.

Seon, you want a pact?

Now that I've arrived at DC, I fire the helicopter's weapons at the rebel forces. The SPARTANS also fire their guns.

Oh, and shouldn't Omega's forces have to dodge Seon's Nuke that went off in Milarqui's Mall?

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I go back and save Obama's life, and befriend some Secret Service members while I'm at it.

 

[GenMarshall]

I go into an abandoned warehouse and search for a lucky charm.

 

[TheLastOne36]

Furious in rage of the death of my soldiers, I become a super-human and destroy all of the Secret Service.

 

[Earthling]

@ Civgeneral - willing to take up an offer of becoming a banker in Minneapolis yet? Or maybe Milwaukee is better suited to your tastes? I'm not going to act aggressively against you...but there is a possibility I could do something, I'm feeling generous and could have the time to spare (8 ticks on the invisble clock right now...)

Actually before my next action the offer goes to everyone if you want something from me...or I'll just be gearing up to return to the present and bask in the glory of the Chicago Cubs winning their 8th straight Super Bowl.

 

[choxorn]

How did a baseball team win the Super Bowl?

 

[Zack]

In my rage to get noticed, I kill mass amounts of puppies.