Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Double A]

That was kill fire/KFC.

Oh right KFC, how could I forget?

Yeah, I glass him.

 

[mythmonster2]

I attack civplayah while he's occupied.

 

[civplayah]

Hominid rights? Fine, I'll turn my house into an ape boarding house and treat them fairly.

Also, mythmonster2, how about we end this? I'm an ape trainer now.

 

[mythmonster2]

...

Fine. Change my order to "find Double A and KFC"

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I use the hammer and nails to repair myself.

2: You hammer and nail your shaky defences back past critical.
ROLL TO DODGE!
4: You suffer 15 damage.

I sail towards the ship.

13: You determine that it is adrift.

Well in that case I open my replies.

15: Congratulations! You are a certified archaeologist five times over.

Next, I send them to get some parts to upgrade the HQ.

13: They scrounge up some discarded furniture.

I fire at the guy who I was previously trying to kill and got into an "argument" about the effects of a STINGER missile on a Seraph space fighter.

20: The drop-ship drops you right on top of kill fire for 30 damage.

I swallow what I was choking on. It gives me health.

16: You pull through at the very last second, regaining 15 hitpoints.

I invent a AI system that I can attach to my gun to have it fire at anyone trying to break into my house.

15: You manage a crude auto-firing mechanism.

i heal abaddon if he will be my ally but if he stops choking for his turn I heal myself with field-medicine

4 (5): You cut yourself on the Band-Aid® package for -8 hitpoints.

I find a Wunderwaffe DG-2 in a box

4: You find a drunk woman who is very protective of her Wonder Waffles.
ROLL TO DODGE!
17 (18): You punch her lights out and take the Wonder Waffles for yourself.

Hominid rights? Fine, I'll turn my house into an ape boarding house and treat them fairly.

4: Oh, so now you're trying to residential school them, are you?
ROLL TO DODGE!
7: The ape holding you swings you about violently for 10 damage.

Change my order to "find Double A and KFC"

12: You run really, really fast to the Mafia's den.

woodland man, Omega124 and TheBladeRoden take 15 damage for inactivity.

 

[Seon]

I absorb the hammer and nail's masses to repair all my functino.

 

[landlubber]

I fire at the ship.

 

[merciary]

Using my new degree I try once again to determine who this temple belongs to.

 

[kill fire]

So wait a minute. Double A dropped on me?

 

[remake20]

I install my autogun on my house in a fool proof way.

 

[!!!!!]

i look for a shield

 

[Abaddon]

I sleep off my pains.

 

[mythmonster2]

Blast a hole into the Mafia's hideout.

 

[woodland man]

im finaly back i heal myself with field meds

 

[kill fire]

If Double A dropped on me, that means he's right on top of me right now. If that is the case, then I order my mafia men to shoot Double A.

If not, then I hit Double A's ship with an energy blast.

 

[civplayah]

I'm trying to be nice!!! I'm letting them stay in my house, I'm trying to teach them about humans! I once again invite him (see, him not it) to put me down and live with me. And he can bring his lovely acquaintances, as well.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I use the spikey club to kill killfire.

 

[kill fire]

Are we even on the same continent?

 

[Double A]

I said "fire" not "drop"

As in from the Covie Carrier and cruiser escort.

Let's just say I'm still in the ship because I rolled a 20.

Anyway, fly really really fast to the carrier and get inside.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I absorb the hammer and nail's masses to repair all my functino.

4: They rattle and clank and you now suffer a recurring -2 hitpoints.

I fire at the ship.

10: You miss.

Using my new degree I try once again to determine who this temple belongs to.

9: It does not bear any markings you are familiar with.

I install my autogun on my house in a fool proof way.

20: Without any sort of electronics, you rig an immaculate defence system.

i look for a shield

4: You step on a broken kite shield for 10 damage.

I sleep off my pains.

14: You recover 9 hitpoints.

Blast a hole into the Mafia's hideout.

19: You make your own entrance, and in the confusion gain a +1 bonus for your next roll.

im finaly back i heal myself with field meds

8: You have no meds.

If Double A dropped on me, that means he's right on top of me right now. If that is the case, then I order my mafia men to shoot Double A.

If not, then I hit Double A's ship with an energy blast.

17: (19): As Double A beams himself up, you send him a farewell present in the form of 15 damage.

I'm trying to be nice!!! I'm letting them stay in my house, I'm trying to teach them about humans! I once again invite him (see, him not it) to put me down and live with me. And he can bring his lovely acquaintances, as well.

11: After you explain yourself through a complex combination of sign language, semaphore and Swahili, the apes grow docile.

I use the spikey club to kill killfire.

9: There's at least one large body of water between you.

Anyway, fly really really fast to the carrier and get inside.

19: You're beamed up and unleash hellfire for 15 damage.