Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[civplayah]

I try teaching them painting in art class. I think they'll enjoy expressing their feelings.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

The Covies have captured a Doc from TF2 and he heals me.

18: Der Doktor restores 40 hitpoints and the use of your legs.

"Oh, my lovely sea creatures, could you carry me back to shore?"

4: It's Captain Oilherb!
ROLL TO DODGE!
8: The dolphins scatter as he launches a harpoon that nicks your arm for 7 damage.

I pray to Cato to give me a task to prove my devotion.

13: You faintly detect something that suggests building a kind of great work.

I fire the Ultimate Weapon from the ship to KFC.

11: It burns him for 9 damage.

i look for a shield in a safe spot

8: You're not sure what constitutes "safe" in this jungle.

I find some uber cool body armour.

9: You find a worn breastplate.

I try looking for a first aid kit for robots.

6: You must be kidding yourself.

I look for an item that modifies my rolls in a positive way.

15: You find a four-leaf clover (not growing on the ground, but dropped by one of the other passangers) that improves all your rolls by 1.

I continue to wack at Abbadon.

3 (5): He whacks you with the breastplate for 12 damage.

I try teaching them painting in art class. I think they'll enjoy expressing their feelings.

12: Fortunately it doesn't end up painting the walls.

 

[merciary]

I begin to gather construction supplies.

 

[landlubber]

I hitch a ride on a dolphin.

 

[mythmonster2]

I politely ask the Medic to heal me as well.

 

[kill fire]

I start training with the mobsters and Horace.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I teleport to CFC.

 

[Seon]

I use my built in arcwrench to repair myself.

 

[Double A]

I disrupt KFC's training by bombarding him with plasma.

 

[Double A]

Oh wait, he's untargetable. Crapplesauce.

I halp the Covies upgrade their plasma weapons.

 

[choxorn]

I notice that Omega is mysteriously still alive, so I continue directing the UNSC to attack him while remaining not in the game.

 

[Double A]

What does that stand for?

 

[!!!!!]

i work for the medical school and get more positive rolls at medicine and heal myself

 

[!!!!!]

i bet abaddon could fix the lucky charm with remake's four-leaf clover

 

[Abaddon]

I RETOOL my armour to b amazing

 

[civplayah]

Time for science! We'll be looking at chemistry.

 

[choxorn]

What does that stand for?

What, UNSC?

United Nations Space Corp, IIRC.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I begin to gather construction supplies.

17: You find an abandoned trailer of lumber and carpenter's tools.

I hitch a ride on a dolphin.

16: The dolphin speeds you to safety.

I politely ask the Medic to heal me as well.

12: He restores 25 hitpoints.

I start training with the mobsters and Horace.

16: You up your handgun bonus to +2.

I teleport to CFC.

Divine Intervention: 20
ROLL TO DODGE!
13: The monitor manages not to knock you into the vortex boundary and you somehow arrive within CFC.

I use my built in arcwrench to repair myself.

13: You ratchet back 9 hitpoints.

I halp the Covies upgrade their plasma weapons.

8: "Put that thingy in the doohickey."

I notice that Omega is mysteriously still alive, so I continue directing the UNSC to attack him while remaining not in the game.

1: They attack you instead.
ROLL TO DIRGE!
f(x-12)*elephant: It is ^╗"║ and Mrs. orz is chjaking fwiffo.

i work for the medical school and get more positive rolls at medicine and heal myself

5: Long hours and little rest drain a couple.

I RETOOL my armour to b amazing

5: You bash your fists against the steel, fortifying it with 4 of your hitpoints.

Time for science! We'll be looking at chemistry.

15: They are now able to stage moderately complex chemical reactions.

 

[Seon]

1: They attack you instead.
ROLL TO DIRGE!
f(x-12)*elephant: It is ^╗"║ and Mrs. orz is chjaking fwiffo.

....wait...what?

 

[merciary]

I build myself a decent size house/building.