Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[civplayah]

I ask the psychiatrist what's wrong with me.

EDIT: Wait, when did this mutant stuff start???

 

[Abaddon]

I ambush the guards

 

[landlubber]

I ask for anesthesia so I can remain in operation longer.

 

[mythmonster2]

Assist in landlubber's recovery.

 

[!!!!!]

i assign him as my body guard

 

[Seon]

I go maaaaaaaaaad like Alahazad the Mad Arab.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I chew off my pinky with my teeth.

 

[Abaddon]

OOC: Why have half of you got a deathwish!?!?

 

[Darth Caesar]

OOC: I don't have a death wish! Trust me I know what I'm doing.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I ask the psychiatrist what's wrong with me.

3 (1): "You tend toward such self-destructive behaviour because you are DOOMED TO FAIL."

I ambush the guards

8: You sneeze at the last second. They arrest you and throw you in the brig.

I ask for anesthesia so I can remain in operation longer.

18: All your problems fade away...

Assist in landlubber's recovery.

19 (20): You patch him up 70 hitpoints.

i assign him as my body guard

19: You make the vial of plasma your protector, and somehow, this actually dissuades people from harming you.

I go maaaaaaaaaad like Alahazad the Mad Arab.

16 (14): Whenever sanity is in question, your rolls land one short.

I chew off my pinky with my teeth.

1: You sever an artery for immediate 14 damage and ongoing -17 hitpoints. You also manage to swallow your finger. Overwhelmed with the pain and the dishonour of it all, you suffer -3 to rolls for any action requiring concentration.

 

[landlubber]

I thank the hospital staff and use the profits from my Dunkin Donuts shops to repay my debt.

 

[Abaddon]

My jedi mindpowers makes the guards let me out.

 

[mythmonster2]

Learn from the ward's staff.

 

[Seon]

OH NOES! Darth CAESAR! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!

I lunge at Darth Caesar's and try to dig out that finger he swallowed....by shoving my hand through his stomach.

 

[!!!!!]

i teach tobi

 

[Darth Caesar]

I get the guards to take me to the infirmary to get patched up.

 

[civplayah]

I hit him/her.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I thank the hospital staff and use the profits from my Dunkin Donuts shops to repay my debt.

19: Miraculously, they didn't close the shops. You pay the fine.

My jedi mindpowers makes the guards let me out.

3: You are transferred to solitary while the guards try to figure out whether you are incurably insane.

Learn from the ward's staff.

18 (19): You improve your skill in medicine to a +3 bonus to rolls.

I lunge at Darth Caesar's and try to dig out that finger he swallowed....by shoving my hand through his stomach.

8 (6): You vault into the wall, suffering 9 damage.

i teach tobi

11: You learn your guinea pig good.

I get the guards to take me to the infirmary to get patched up.

7: They suspect your ploy, and cauterize the wound themselves for 9 damage.

I hit him/her.

12 (10): You miss. QED.

 

[Seon]

I beat Darth Caesar to death with his own skull.

 

[Abaddon]

I meditate