Roll to Dodge XXV: Furthermore Ludicrous Edition (Part II)

[Terrance888]

I counter wire the reactor that my portal gun is attached to, rebooting the generator,
While giggling uncontrollably!

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I crawl to a hospital.

 

[Boundless]

I shave off Skwink Caesar's moustache with his machete and follow bestrfcplayer to hospital

 

[Abaddon]

​

I enlist as a russian spy.

12 : Your enlistment is successful comrade.

I find a rocket launcher

5: You can't find anything in this dark! You stub your toe too! (-1hp)

I steal the key that launches the nuclear missiles

13 (12) You snatch the keys!

I launch the 24 trident II missiles at various points around the globe to plunge the world into a nuclear holocaust.

6: You don't have the authority to do that.

I find and eat some of the Russians' stash of high energy dalokohs bars.

3 (2) : They turn out to be laced with poison! -2hp/turn

I take out my machete and hunt for bestrfcplayer in the dark.

12 (auto10): You don't have a machete..

I locate and obtain a personal oxygen source.

9 (auto 10): You are tied up... and any attempt to escape will result in the Russians attacking you again..

no aquaman? Then i pray to the almighty Poseidon.

18 (17): Poseidon answers your call. Your next roll will get +7 to anything Poseidonny..

I find a flashlight and tape it to the barrel of my AK-47 so it lights up what I am aiming at.

2: You fumble about in the darkness, dropping your AK-47 which goes off at random, injuring you and leaves you bleeding.

I counter wire the reactor that my portal gun is attached to, rebooting the generator,
While giggling uncontrollably!

4 (3): You drain the gun completely without seemingly any affect on the generator.

I crawl to a hospital.

4 (2): You crawl forwards into the darkness, and over and down a flight of stairs! You land with a crippling crunch. You cannot move.

I shave off Skwink Caesar's moustache with his machete and follow bestrfcplayer to hospital

7 (6): In the dark, and without a blade to shave him with.. let alone not knowing where he is, you really stuggle with this one, just groping around in the darkness.



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Owtch, a very bad set of rolls there.. sorry guys! :/

 

[Terrance888]

I kick the generator and say "Ayyyy!" while snaping my thumb and my fingers.

I presume I am in the generator room.

 

[BSmith1068]

I use my shirt to make a tourniquet to stop the bleeding and then pick up my AK-47.

 

[Boundless]

I find a lighter in my pocket and use it to find my way out of the darkness!

 

[Red_Spy]

I read How to be a Thief for Dummies.

 

[SouthernKing]

I find a Tesla Cannon

 

[Skwink]

I stumble down the stairs to beat bestrfcplayer.


How did I get auto 10? All the stats page say is I get +1.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

I learn how to breathe underwater for an unlimited time

 

[Bratmon]

Bratmon uses FLAIL on the Russians.

 

[Earthling]

I trick Bratmon into using HAZE instead in a way that clears up my poison status condition.

 

[Tecknojock]

I use my 1337 Haxor skills to obtain the launch codes and bypass the need for a key.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I yell for help.

 

[mechaerik]

I ask Poseidon to teach me how to survive underwater and in massive depths/

 

[Abaddon]

How did I get auto 10? All the stats page say is I get +1.

You don't have a machete. So the action autofailed. If you'd said "find" a machete, it would have been different

 

[Skwink]

You don't have a machete. So the action autofailed. If you'd said "find" a machete, it would have been different

Ok, thanks.

 

[Abaddon]

​

I kick the generator and say "Ayyyy!" while snapping my thumb and my fingers.

I presume I am in the generator room.

8: Sass will get you nowhere laddie!

I use my shirt to make a tourniquet to stop the bleeding and then pick up my AK-47.

3: You tear up your shirt, in the dark, but really can't sort it in the dark.. you're cold now too...

I find a lighter in my pocket and use it to find my way out of the darkness!

8 (7): You find a lighter, but its empty

I read How to be a Thief for Dummies.

10: You're dark.. and you don't have the book..

I find a Tesla Cannon

8 (7): Searching in the dark reveals nothing..

I stumble down the stairs to beat bestrfcplayer.

17: You kick and punch at the prone besrfcplayer for 6 damage

I learn how to breathe underwater for an unlimited time

6: Holding your breath only makes you feel light headed it seems..

Bratmon uses FLAIL on the Russians.

4 (3): Did you mean to write fail? Whatever FLAIL is, attempting to do it hurts you for 4hp and angers the Russian Spies!

Roll to Dodge!

(5) They rough you up some more and tighten the ropes.

I trick Bratmon into using HAZE instead in a way that clears up my poison status condition.

17 (16): Again I am unsure what HAZE is.. but it does clear up your poisoning.

I use my 1337 Haxor skills to obtain the launch codes and bypass the need for a key.

4 (3): All you get for your efforts is an electrical shock...

I yell for help.

10 (9) They can't quite hear your calls

I ask Poseidon to teach me how to survive underwater and in massive depths/

19 (20) : Poseidon nods and you feel a warmth in your toes, then your fingers, then your neck! You are a merfolk now! Water holds no prison for you! He looks at you one last time, you bow, and he is gone.



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The death clock keeps ticking.. it is going to get hotter soon if no one gets the core back in place!

 

[mechaerik]

I attempt to open the submarine.