Crezth has it. What has to be understood is that Skyrim's gameplay and its story are fundamentally at odds with one another, to a greater extent than any other TES game. When I say that Skyrim is a sandbox and not an RPG, I want you to think of, oddly enough, Grand Theft Auto 4.
Grand Theft Auto 4's story, concerning Niko Bellic, has him endlessly agonizing over something bad he did during the Yugoslavian Wars and grappling with the nature of his morality and place in Liberty City in the present day. On the face of it, this is a compelling story. In actual practice, it's totally ludicrous. Niko's violent past means nothing when, after a cutscene ends, a player can take a car on a sidewalk and murder hundreds of random pedestrians. People complained about this, but not to any truly great extent, because everyone understood GTA4 was a sandbox game first and foremost.
Not so Skyrim, but Skyrim is also a sandbox game, it just wants to trick you into thinking it's an RPG (like GTA4 did with various RPG elements) only it's more insidious. TES has a deep backstory, but that backstory also contains things like CHIM and Dragonbreaks, which allow for the total violation of reality, causality, and locality. TES, in particular Skyrim, is an "RPG series" with a wink-and-nod. This becomes more apparent when you consider that your main form of interaction with the world is murdering people (and sometimes talking to them).
While it's true the worlds in TES are not very reactive (and never have been) and that this is primarily a technological limitation, it should be noted that the main form effects will take will be in the form of scripts and scripted events. It's technically feasible to build an elaborate, branching series of events, as demonstrated by Alpha Protocol, but this is fundamentally antithetical to the idea of Skyrim: Skyrim is a sandbox, not an RPG. It wants you to experience as much content as you want without locking you out of it if at all possible. Scripting does nothing
but lock you out of content.
While one certainly can imagine a game wherein events have profound consequences, waiting too long to do certain things seals them off and the situation advances without the player, and so on, and such a game would be bound to be interesting, that game would fundamentally be the exact opposite of Skyrim in purpose and premise. This is also reflected in the attitude of the game developers themselves and the tools they allow you to use. TES has become less consequentialist over time, not more. This is not an accident.
Want to kill an essential character? Use the console. Not powerful enough? Open the Creation Kit and delete them. Advance your way through quests. Teleport. Summon items. It's right there at the press of a button, and you'll even still get achievements if you do it. You have the power, and that power is CHIM. This isn't new:
Vivec nominally had access to Morrowind's Construction Set. TES, and Skyrim in particular, are about actions, not consequences—consequences impede or restrict actions. Consequences mostly come in the next game, not the current one, when they cease to be relevant because the player has assumed a new avatar.
While I can understand the desire for a more immersive "simulation," TES is actually anything but a simulation and you have attached yourselves to the petty surface features it adopts to mimic one. It's a game about being a God—how much you want to exercise or restrict your divine power is up to you, and that's part of the fun. If you want an extremely nuanced game to roleplay in, you've either picked the wrong one or you're not deploying your imagination enough.