"Slept my way up to the top"

[Valka D'Ur]

I had "Ask a femmekin" recently.

Today i had two clients. I plan to study as a cook from autumn, but i will be still giving the services in the free time if the price will be fine for me. So no - i don't plan to work as a prostitute all my life, it's a temportally thing (i hope).

I'm a mtf transsexual/ hermaphrodite in real life. So technically i'm not even a woman.

Here's a hypothetical: You've finished your cook's training, but the places where you apply to work won't hire you unless you sleep with the person who has the hiring authority. Would you go along with that condition for employment? Is that even legal in your country?

 

[dusters]

Everything's legal unless you are convicted - innocent till proven guilty.

The last cafe i applied as a cook ( i've got recommendations since i serve/prepare meals in corporative parties and weddings), i had a woman in 50s as a hiring authority. I didn't play the sexuality card although i could. Because i believe in my skills as a cook and they should be enough.

 

[warpus]

I believe in my sleeping skills, although no employer ever wanted to cuddle with me.

 

[NovaKart]

How can you be both a hermaphrodite and a transsexual?

 

[Narz]

There is no shame in leveraging whatever advantage you won in the genetic lottery. Ultimately, the opinions of others matter little. What counts is what you yourself are comfortable with.

This.

The main thing that garners or loses my respect is honesty. If you're going to "use" men to get ahead, go ahead, some men get a rush from trying to seduce a beautiful woman even if they never get any. Just be real about it.

Like it or not most men are totally sexist in favor of young, attractive women. I notice it myself. I will hold a door for a man if he's right behind me but for a pretty girl I'll wait five seconds or more, I'm nicer, I modulate my voice to be softer, go more out of my way to be helpful. I don't admire these things, it's just instinct, I have to be vigilant to not do them.

I feel sorry for beautiful women once they hit 50. A lady I know (in her late 40's) talks about how she's starting to feel "invisible". And on a practical level, it's true, our society doesn't value old ladies very much. Old men, somewhat, as long as you have money/charm.

My ex used to say that when she went for a job she was pretty sure she'd be hired if the boss was male, if the boss was female it was more up in the air. Men simply are not objective if you're a young, hot female.

Life is simply not fair.

 

[warpus]

I feel sorry for beautiful women once they hit 50. A lady I know (in her late 40's) talks about how she's starting to feel "invisible".

If you rely on your good looks alone to get you through life, yeah, by the time you're in your 40s you are going to have problems.. unless you hooked up with a sugah daddy or momma or whatever.

There's no need to feel sorry for beautiful women. Those who are smart enough will not rely on their good looks alone to coast through life. Those who do and then are helpless when they're older get no sympathy from me - they should have prepared for the future better.

Everyone knows that good looks don't stay with you forever. If your only plan in life is "marry someone rich", don't come crying to me when that plan doesn't work out and you have no idea how to get through life on your own without your 20s cleavage.

 

[Narz]

If you rely on your good looks alone to get you through life, yeah, by the time you're in your 40s you are going to have problems..

She wasn't even that attractive (ever). I don't really much feel sorry for her (she turned out to be a bit of an annoying person, hence why I don't refer to her as my friend) but I agree that our culture has little regard for those over the hill (especially women).

However, by that age you should really be over attention seeking/narcissism & seek validation/recognition for your contributions to your community/family rather than for being sexy & fertile.

 

[metatron]

I personally think there is a naturally instinct which motivates men to look down on women who use their sexuality like that. Not to say that men have to look down on it. Other impulses, be it cultural or personal, can be stronger and override it, but it is IMO a factor. That instinct then would come from the problem that if a woman has sex with everyone - then there is a good chance some one else will impregnate her. So a woman who does that is naturally repulsive to men.

What comes together with that in the case of sleeping you way up is that this constitutes threat of its own to men as well as other (especially not so pleasantly looking) women. It is a strategy many will not be able compete with and which feels unfair. More reason to not like it.

And there is all the religious / cultural baggage only reinforcing the dislike of such behavior / women.

Now having said that - this is an uncaring world ruled by a universal fight over favorable positions. So I can fully understood that a woman will use heir sexuality to reach her goals and it is silly to think that this makes the women inherently bad. One in deed could say it just makes her a realist. I mean I suppose it makes her a bit of an ass - because she manipulates and deceives. But I don't see what it actually matters weather this is done with sexuality or other means. In deed - many men may not mind such manipulation at all. Perhaps seeing it simply as a favorable trade agreement.

I doubt very much that's the way "slut shaming" works.

You are making the assumption here that men, generally, are commited to the women that sleep with them implicitly or explicitly in exchange for favors.
So right at the premise the whole thing doesn't really hold up.

Anyway, "slut shaming" is mostly done by other women and either not about actual behavior (you can "slut shame" a virgin if you want to) or about the economics of supposedly "slutty" behavior.
Think about it in the concrete context that dusters brought up:
Men haven't "lost" anything in that scenario. If anything they've gained, well, the sex.
But there 's a ton of women who have lost something:

1. Since acting carreers are to some degree zero sum within any class of people, there are other actresses who didn't get the very opportunities the sleeper-upper got.
2. There may be other young actresses who intended to do the exact same thing (the sleeping up) but the relevant men picked dusters' acquaintance (and presumably other promiscuous women) over them.
3. There may be other women who'd like to have monogamous relationships with the men dusters aquaintance slept with.​

Needless to say, all three groups will be pretty urinated.

 

[dusters]

How can you be both a hermaphrodite and a transsexual?

I'm not sure who i am medically. Got male stamped in passport, got weird stuff written in my medical papers and that's it. Nobody cares.

 

[Wrymouth3]

Who would win in the 2nd version of Rome's big bang-a-thon? Silvio Berlusconi or Valeria Messalina?

 

[NovaKart]

I'm not sure who i am medically. Got male stamped in passport, got weird stuff written in my medical papers and that's it. Nobody cares.

I'm not going to pry into this because it's an extremely personal issue. I'll just say that if your medical records indicate that you were born with both male and female genitalia or that you might have been, then you would be intersex and therefore biologically not exactly male or female. If you were raised as a male but later decided that you feel more female then I suppose, in a way, it's like being a transsexual. It's a really unique situation anyway.

 

[dusters]

@Wry

I know these persons, but I'm not into Italian politics, so i'm clueless.

From a very young age i was required to do "things" to have functioning male organs. I refused to do those things and didn't have them functioning till 23 years old when i met a girl who wanted them to function and i was fine with that just for her.

They tried to raise me as male, indeed. But i raised myself

 

[warpus]

She wasn't even that attractive (ever). I don't really much feel sorry for her (she turned out to be a bit of an annoying person, hence why I don't refer to her as my friend) but I agree that our culture has little regard for those over the hill (especially women).

However, by that age you should really be over attention seeking/narcissism & seek validation/recognition for your contributions to your community/family rather than for being sexy & fertile.

My point was just that if you get used to relying on your good looks to get by in life, it is going to bite you in the butt later on in life, when your boobs start to sag, or whenever.

What you described earlier - people who used to be "hot" who are now finding it tougher to get through life because they always relied on their good looks - is only a portion of good looking people. A lot of them aren't stupid enough to rely on their good looks and their good looks only.

Does that make sense? I feel no sympathy for people who used their good looks to get by and are now having problems - but do not think that all good looking people end up being stupid enough to try to live their life out like that. So when I see an older lady walking down the street who might have looked gorgeous when she was 25, I do not assume she has problems getting through life now, unless she does something that would make me think otherwise.

 

[dusters]

there is this line in OP - a girl has to get 2 million euros in her bank account before 40 so she can have a decent life after her looks diminish...

 

[NovaKart]

Do you think this kind of thing is more common in Eastern Europe where poverty is more common? I met a man from Latvia once who was working in Turkey in what was really a volunteer position with a small salary but he was actually using some of this to help his sisters in Latvia.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Who would win in the 2nd version of Rome's big bang-a-thon? Silvio Berlusconi or Valeria Messalina?

@Wry

I know these persons, but I'm not into Italian politics, so i'm clueless.

From a very young age i was required to do "things" to have functioning male organs. I refused to do those things and didn't have them functioning till 23 years old when i met a girl who wanted them to function and i was fine with that just for her.

They tried to raise me as male, indeed. But i raised myself

A modern-day male politician who got caught up in a sex scandal is not quite the same thing as an Empress of Rome who competed with a member of the Guild of Prostitutes to see who could wear out the most men in one night (I suspect the Guild member wisely opted not to win, no matter how the contest went, since Messalina could be a very vengeful and petty woman).

 

[dusters]

But of course! Latvian girls are tall, like 1.70m = 5f 8", have blue eyes, blond hair and average cup is between C and D.

We are quite an Aryan, generally. Sad, but true - many girls try to marry a foreigner.

Minimal wage is 300 euros per month in Latvia. You can live decently with 500 euros if you rent a flat in not-so-good neighbourhood.

@Wry

Sorry, but i'm going to be sexist here - politics are for men. That's my personal opinion, please don't hate me for it ^^

 

[warpus]

Sure, politics are for men. Right. You want to have it easy, sitting at home with the kids, making pancakes, wearing pajamas.

Let me tell you something, we live in an equal society, and women have to do all the boring stuff now too. It's been so decreed.

 

[dusters]

Well, my career choices are one thing. I can make money any way i want.

However, at the end of the day i'm still a being attracted to females and as of now I live in a country with tons of homo/transphobia.

 

[Goodfella]

Sorry, but i'm going to be sexist here - politics are for men. That's my personal opinion, please don't hate me for it ^^

Well don't complain when idiotic men make laws about what women can and can't do.