I admit that I've never (ever) explored the whip and the disturbing idiots, and it could've been one of the life/death decisions that made this loss. I take it you mean alpha when you say writing, and I agree that we need to think twice about the techs.
One point I don't agree on however is the importance of catapults, which you don't seem to stress enough. Defensive shot archers are semi-worthless, they'll hit about 1/3 shot and won't be used to the full offensive potential of their 2 attack one way or the other. Catapults are more reliable and can take offensive shots, making them MUCH more powerful.
An alternative to consider is the civ itself: Sumeria has gruesome EW's, and the AGR trait speaks for itself. However, picking the techs is also very important, and we don't have the luxury of building too many granaries.
That being said, venturing out of Sumeria, we need to think about Bronze first and foremost: SCI civ. Then, all of alpha (if we have it, cats are closer), masonry, WC and pots have potential: COM, SEA, IND, MIL, EXP & AGR. I'll flush EXP, Russia has no good early UU to save the trait. Greece, Korea, China, Germany and Sumeria left. Among these, EW's and Hops shine up from the pack.
So let me suggest greece. Not AGR, but that will only matter to on-river towns, since we won't build granaries. Alpha is a costy tech and we'll have it, so we're one step closer to catapults. IMO cats+warriors are as good, if not better, than archers for game-entry trench wars.
Oh and Chasquis are a PITA, so if we could get the rivals among England, Portugal, Spain, India, France ... it'd be awesome