The impending American Invasion of Texas

[jackelgull]

Does this confuse you? It should. Before I jump into the meat of the matter let me provide the back ground. It doesn't make this look any less crazy, but it gives a nice back ground to the crazy

a) I blame the X files and their FEMA allows the president to take over the world!! for this. They started the rumours
b) The US amy is holding a training exercise in large areas of the Southwest (including Texas) Jaded Helm 15, prepping for a land invasion of Mexico art of the "ready for anything" mentaity of the army
c) Internet rumours are floating around that this US army training exercise is really a cover for the US to invade Texas
d) This has lead to a mainstream fear among conservatives that this is the truth.
Now here's the kicker
http://www.refinery29.com/pentagon-not-invading-texas#.c8w9lt:Hi6f

The governor of Texashas jumped on the band wagon. The crazy ship has sailed.


Now here's my question- can we actually kick off this invasion please? We might end up with a saner government in Texas if we do. Texas is a part of the United States, so in a giant lap of illogic, the US would be invading itself.

Well, jut kidding, but I find it hilarious that the governor is claiming he's protecting civil liberties when Texas has tried really hard to destroy those liberties. Besides, what chance does the national guard have against the military with all of its toys?

Finally, I think that this is evidence that the US and Texas have reached the point in their relationship where they should consider breaking it off, just for a while to cool off tensions.Texas could travel the world, see other countries. It would be for the best.

 

[BvBPL]

That was some poor journalism in that link. You don't just say "blame Chuck Norris" and then walk away from that.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Have the politicians mentioned really gone along with the crazies on this? I mean, I knew Ted Cruz was a whack job, but openly aligning himself with something straight from the tin foil hat's mouth seems pretty surprising for a declared presidential candidate. That sound bite alone would be enough to sink him.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

That was some poor journalism in that link. You don't just say "blame Chuck Norris" and then walk away from that.

When Chuck Norris is involved walking away is the only safe thing to do.

 

[Cutlass]

Every time I hear this I think of just how amazing stupid these people are. Their brains simply do not function as human brains function. It's like they've degenerated into lizards. Chuck Norris is one of them.

 

[Fr8monkey]

Anything you say about Texas doesn't confuse me. An old family saying is; "Everything weird comes between the Rio and the Red"

Chuck Norris is just an actor (and a mediocre one at that)... nothing to be afraid of!

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Best comment I've seen so far:

"No brain cells were harmed in the making of this conspiracy theory. In fact, none were even used."

I like the Texas congressman who said that the governor and members of congress who are lending credence to this absurdity are an embarrassment to the state of Texas. Of course, Texas gave us GWBush so it isn't like they have any reputation left to protect.

 

[Takhisis]

How can you invade yourself?

in a nonsexual manner, I mean

 

[gay_Aleks]

With the mental gymnastics going on there, it's not that hard actually.

 

[cybrxkhan]

To be fair, many politicians in Texas, both GOP and Dems, are denouncing the governor. Even Rick Perry, at least publically, more or less criticized all this (though he also took a swipe at Obama and the federal government as well).

Doesn't make it any less silly of course.

 

[JollyRoger]

I was planted here at conception during the LBJ administration just for the moment that is coming.

 

[Phrossack]

Was going to make a thread on this but kept putting it off, in part because I'm lazy and in part because it's so embarrassing. I cannot believe this display of paranoia and stupidity.

 

[Zkribbler]

Dibs on San Antonio!!

 

[Rashiminos]

How can you invade yourself?

in a nonsexual manner, I mean

Bizarre programming flaws in little-known civ games?

On a more serious note: Any story that doesn't include Wal-Marts being shutdown for months over plumbing maintenance is simply all wet.

 

[JollyRoger]

I am proud to report already having a couple of prisoners of war securely bound.

 

[jackelgull]

I am proud to report already having a couple of prisoners of war securely bound.

When are you going to start on the torture porn, er, I mean totally necessary interrogations?

 

[Farm Boy]

I think there's different fetishes involved when the people involved are largely deceased.

 

[jackelgull]

I think there's different fetishes involved when the people involved are largely deceased.

I'm not sure if this is a reference to the Mexican American war or something else that is totally going over my head.

 

[JollyRoger]

The detainees claim to be Tea Partiers, so I am searching urban dictionary for my next step.

 

[Farm Boy]

I'm not sure if this is a reference to the Mexican American war or something else that is totally going over my head.

Oh nah. I just think we're falling short on the kink given present company.