The Official Chuck Norris Thread

[Firestorm94]

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the earth down.

When Chuck Norris sees this repost, bad things will happen.

 

[Huayna Capac357]

When Chuck Norris necromances, the date of the last post automatically changes to 3 seconds before Chuck Norris's post.

 

[Veritass]

This is the real reason Muslims prohibit public depictions of Muhammed.

 

[holy king]

because they fear roundhouse kick related deaths?


anyway, someone once told chuck norris that the roundhouse kick isnt really the most effective way to kick people. this is considered as the single most stupid mistake ever by most historians.

 

[_random_]

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
(Reportedly, he heard this, and used it to segue into a YEC rant.)

 

[Dumanios]

Chuck Norris once beat Medusa in a staring contest.

Chuck Norris turned Medusa into stone.

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

Chuck Norris has already to infinity,twice.

The movie Godzilla is based around Chuck Norris's visit to Tokyo.

 

[Huayna Capac357]

When Mike Huckabee used Chuck Norris in a campaign ad, the awesomeness difference between them was so great that it overwhelmed Huckabee's brain and caused him to lose.

 

[_random_]

When Mike Huckabee used Chuck Norris in a campaign ad, the awesomeness difference between them was so great that it overwhelmed Huckabee's brain and caused him to lose.

So he should pray he endorses someone else for the 2012 run.

 

[appian]

When Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Incredible Hulk. When the Incredible Hulk gets angry, he turns into Chuck Norris.

 

[Belesarius]

The main goal of the mahattan project was to harrness the power of the chuck norris roundhouse kick. They failed miserably.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Chuck Norris had a paper route when he was a kid.

There were no survivors.

 

[eastsidebagel]

I'm Chuck Norris. Go on, prove me wrong!

 

[Veritass]

Chuck Norris doesn't have to say he is Chuck Norris. He just is Chuck Norris.

 

[Flying Pig]

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

The Bogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can win a staring contest with a goldfish

 

[Annex]

I'm Chuck Norris. Go on, prove me wrong!

I have not been roundhouse kicked through my computer screen.

 

[Flying Pig]

Yes you have, but it erased your memory of it.

 

[Annex]

Yes you have, but it erased your memory of it.

Nope, I would be dead...unless Im in heaven right now...

 

[Dumanios]

Some kids wear Superman PJs,Superman wears Chuck Norris PJs.

 

[Flying Pig]

Nope, I would be dead...unless Im in heaven right now...

Chuck Norris does not obey the laws of logic - logic obeys chuck norris.

One I heard awhile back:

God wanted ten days to create the world - Chuck Norris gave him seven.

 

[eastsidebagel]

Nope, I would be dead...unless Im in heaven right now...

Oops, it seems I have forgotten you...
Chuck Norris always checks his lists twice!