"Two cows" jokes, CFC OT style

[Birdjaguar]

Birdjaguar has two cows, but neither are Real, so it doesn't really matter.

With most humble apologies to Christmas Humphreys:

Brown are the limbs of my Beloved cows,
With horny plumes and flippin tails.
Where soft the busy light allows
Milking day and night in metal pails,
Supple udders move in solemn dance
With sweaty hands and hunched stance.
Cows that whisper oh so bold
“Taliesin your hands are mighty cold”.

 

[allhailIndia]

Been a long time since I posted here, but still....

AllhailIndia has two cows, doesn't know what to do with them, sells them to a milkman for a cheap price, ends up buying milk too costly and then sues the milkman for mental distress.

AllhailIndia has two cows, he is proud that they are both INdian and beautiful, and refuses to accept that any other country has better cows, but when he sees better cows elsewhere, he blames it on farm subsidies

I'm fair game now

 

[stratego]

allhailIndia has two cows. He worships them.

 

[IglooDame]

Igloodude has two cows. One shot the other in a clear case of self-defense.


I got nothin', permission granted for someone else to do better...

 

[Hakim]

SN has two cows, which makes the second a threat to the first. The second one gets her brain replaced by a friendly gorilla's.

Marla_Singer has two cows. That's enough, another one will disrupt the balance.

 

[LLXerxes]

LLXerxes has two cows and posts pictures of them every chance he gets.

they're albino

Igloodude has 2 cows, he forces them into the navy and posts pictures of they're eyes.

 

[Mise]

IglooDude has two cows. He arms the smaller one, who then shoots the other cow, the neighbours cows and some of their calves. IglooDude regrets not arming them all.

Fetus4188 has two stupid hypothetical cows.

Stratego says he has two cows, but he's being sarcastic.

WillJ has two cows. He wonders why they haven't mated with each other yet.

Yom has two cows. He becomes the richest man in Ethiopia.

(which means implicitly that you can do me now)

 

[Timko]

Basket Case has two cows. He uses them to breed 200,000,000,000 cows. Their flatulence and overgrazing produces enough methane and damage to provoke massive global warming and annihilate the climate and kill 99% of life on the planet. Basket Case has plenty of steak left for his retirement.

 

[Suppersalmon]

Perfection has two cows, but forgot to feed them and they died while he was play sim city 2000

 

[Tomoyo]

I got none, but feel free to make anime cracks about me.

 

[Scuffer]

Tomoyo had two anime cows. The good one had really big eyes, the evil had small ones.

 

[Mise]

Tomoyo has two cows. Their moo's are often out of step with their mouths. He takes pictures of them and sets them as his desktop. They are cute.

 

[Scuffer]

Suppersalmon has two cow's arses and a banjo. Dennis Rommedahl uses them for target practice.

 

[Yom]

Mise has two cows. He notices that one cow is slightly larger than the other, so he takes away some of the first cow's food and gives it to the second. The second cow now has more, so he throws away some of the second cow's food. The first cow has more food now, so Mise throws away all the food, satisfied with the cow's equality. Both cows are found dead of starvation a week later.

Mise buys two more cows. This time he buys their food in quantised portions. Finding the piles of food still uneven, he makes transfer payments to the poorer cow in multiples of Planck's constant until both piles are even

 

[Mise]

@Yom: You forgot the part where I complain that it wasn't true cowmunism

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Not sure I get the two cows thing, but here goes:

Bozo Erectus has two cows. One is named Dumb, the other is named Pothead. One day he took them to market. Dumb fetched $1000 and Pothead $5000. Why? Pothead gave psychodelic milk.

 

[Scuffer]

Two cows joke example: http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_350.htm

Though predictably we have drifted away from it a little.

 

[Chukchi Husky]

Tomoyo has two cows, then two cattle, then two bovine, then two domesticated ungulates... (I wonder if anyone would understand that...)

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Two cows joke example: http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_350.htm

Thanks Scuffer, now I blunderstand. Id seen the two cows thing before and forgotten about it. Id do mine differently now.

 

[Mise]

Scuffer has two queues.
(You have to say "cow" and "queue" in a Welsh accent to understand that one really. And even then it's crap...)