Hard logic to argue with on an individual scale, I guess. But it's not an argument that can be used for the widespread use of the system. It's impossible for every kid to be 'special'.
Why Chinese Mothers are Superior
- Thread starter Japanrocks12
- Start date
MagisterCultuum
Great Sage
When I read this on another forum, it was eventually pointed out that the Wall Street Journal chose only to print passages from fairly early in a book that deals more with how the author eventually came to recognize the flaws of and chose to abandon such an authoritarian approach.
aronnax
Let your spirit be free
As a Chinese with a Chinese Mother, I call bull fecal on this. Until someone experiences their child growing up in an Asian way, they will politely put aside the fact many Chinese children feel distant from their parents because of the way they have been brought up. My mother's conversations with me and my sister used to know revolve around school work and co-curriculum subjects. Little was discussed about my life and my emotions in daily life. My childhood was crud because my mother caned me as a child for bad grades, never really noticed that I was bullied in school and depressed about it until a teacher brought it up in a parent-teacher conference, taught me Chinese with a cane at the side that frightened me to death to answer her questions. I have a bit of an eye-sight problem so remembering Chinese words are slightly trickier than English and my mum for years called it me being lazy at studying Chinese rather than acknowledging it as a problem on its own.
After age 8, I never saw my father except at night when he came home and I was about to sleep or when he was scolding me for my grades/conduct.
After age 8, I never saw my father except at night when he came home and I was about to sleep or when he was scolding me for my grades/conduct.
Cashie
King
I'm familiar with the pressures that are placed on Asian kids, specifically Korean kids - they are sent to after-school academies improve certain subjects: English, Chinese, Japanese, piano/violin, maths, taekwondo, Go (the game), god knows what else. The pressure to succeed or to get into university is immense, consequently the teen suicide is phenomenonly high.
It's entirely normal to see teenagers in school uniform wandering around after midnight on weeknights.
It's entirely normal to see teenagers in school uniform wandering around after midnight on weeknights.
This is important. There's far more to being a good person than good marks at school, and I think the stereotypically British way of raising children which can be summed up as 'school's all very well, but what a boy needs is education', actually raises better people. I know I'd rather have a drink with Prince Harry than the stereotypical chinaman.
Cashie
King
I'd love to have a drink with Prince Phillip and a stereotypical Chinaman.
Hilarity would ensue.
Hilarity would ensue.
Actually, true, that would be the best.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
Having grown up in a town with a lot of Asian immigrants in a town culture of overachieving, I can safely say that most of those hardworking straight-A students have achieved "less" than what group of mostly white friends have achieved--friends who almost laissez-faire compared to this woman. Strict for Western standards, but nothing outside the mean.
Straight A's honors/AP classes, expert extra curricular mastery in classical instruments, and these types of parents' kids end up at a second-rate top school. Why? Because they're filler to the admissions' offices. All that stress and abuse for what? Admission to UC Davis? To make Harvard you have to do something special, not something well.
And even if Harvard. To what end? There's really no point to what this mother is doing. Okay, so her kid gets lucky and comes through in one piece. Then what? Her kid lives an upper-middle class to slightly wealthy existence based on fitting in to the more prestigious part of the mainstream. She's a surgeon making $420,000 a year. She's one of the go-to in her field. In terms of a Tribal Leadership (go watch the TED.com or read the book) framework she's level 3 of 5. That's her life. She gets married and has her own son or daughter at 34. That's her life. She has the same freaking life as everyone else, except with more money and prestige, and less leisure. That's it. There's no point.
The point of western parenting is to bring up happy citizens. Happiness and/or good citizenship to me make much worthier goals than "be the best at something replaceable at the cost of your soul and mine"
I predict divorce unless her husband is completely pathetic.
Straight A's honors/AP classes, expert extra curricular mastery in classical instruments, and these types of parents' kids end up at a second-rate top school. Why? Because they're filler to the admissions' offices. All that stress and abuse for what? Admission to UC Davis? To make Harvard you have to do something special, not something well.
And even if Harvard. To what end? There's really no point to what this mother is doing. Okay, so her kid gets lucky and comes through in one piece. Then what? Her kid lives an upper-middle class to slightly wealthy existence based on fitting in to the more prestigious part of the mainstream. She's a surgeon making $420,000 a year. She's one of the go-to in her field. In terms of a Tribal Leadership (go watch the TED.com or read the book) framework she's level 3 of 5. That's her life. She gets married and has her own son or daughter at 34. That's her life. She has the same freaking life as everyone else, except with more money and prestige, and less leisure. That's it. There's no point.
The point of western parenting is to bring up happy citizens. Happiness and/or good citizenship to me make much worthier goals than "be the best at something replaceable at the cost of your soul and mine"
I predict divorce unless her husband is completely pathetic.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
Incensed, I had a feeling there was some trolling going on for the sake of marketing. Whereas this woman is still A) guilty of abuse and B) a yale-based Lawyer fully capable of telling everyone what they want to hear to make herself look good and therefore to be taken both ways with a grain of salt, here is a much softer interview with her http://online.wsj.com/article/SB100...6080032661117462.html?mod=WSJ_article_related
One of the notable quotes was how she retreated from the model when her second kid rebelled.
One of the notable quotes was how she retreated from the model when her second kid rebelled.
Cashie
King
Which reminds me: never get into a drinking contest with a stereotypical Chinese bloke.
And definitely don't follow this up by drinking 2 litres of Chinese tap water.
Cashie
King
Back on topic, there was a quote from Chua where she said her parenting technique was against the UN charter on rights of the child....
Baijiu:may will cause ejection of stomach contents.
This was during drinking season (also known as Chinese New Year).You must be a cheap drunk
Baijiu:
Formaldehyde
Both Fair And Balanced
I also think that overly pushy parents are bordering on child abuse. A classic example would be Olympic-quality girl gymnasts. I really don't see how society can have strict child labor laws, but not take into consideration parents who force their children to spend so much time to excel in some goofy sport.
While these children may make straight As by spending much more time doing homework than their other classmates, they typically run into problems when the classwork is no longer based on rote memorization or doing enough exercises, as it so frequently is at the lower levels. This massive pressure to excel frequently causes serious emotional problems, due at least in part to eventually hitting these intellectual roadblocks which they cannot simply memorize past.
That is not to say that we should give children free reign when it comes to time outside the class. All children should be encouraged to read whatever interests them and to do their homework. But they should also be allowed to have enough free time to just enjoy their childhood. Socializing with other children and knowing how to creatively entertain yourself is just as important as doing well in school.
While these children may make straight As by spending much more time doing homework than their other classmates, they typically run into problems when the classwork is no longer based on rote memorization or doing enough exercises, as it so frequently is at the lower levels. This massive pressure to excel frequently causes serious emotional problems, due at least in part to eventually hitting these intellectual roadblocks which they cannot simply memorize past.
That is not to say that we should give children free reign when it comes to time outside the class. All children should be encouraged to read whatever interests them and to do their homework. But they should also be allowed to have enough free time to just enjoy their childhood. Socializing with other children and knowing how to creatively entertain yourself is just as important as doing well in school.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
This book is the mom's trump card. Her daughters could privately reject her, but she took her parenting public. She now has the weight of public leverage, and quite simply her daughters would have to have extreme motivation to judo-flip that leverage back on to the mom. So the daughters will now, honest or lying, defend their mother to the grave.
Silly lazy Chinese parents. One of my cousins had a high school average of 106%. He was also the best in all of his classes and was sociable. His parents bought his cooperation, when my cousin realized he could get $15,000/year for doing all of his assignments perfectly. He also got a bonus of $30,000 for doing high school in 3 years O.o . I wish I was that awesome.
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