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Can a long-distance relationship work?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Boundless, Jun 13, 2011.

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Can a long-distance relationship work?

  1. Yes

    34.3%
  2. No

    34.3%
  3. Depends on the distance

    13.4%
  4. Other - specify below

    17.9%
  1. Supr49er

    Supr49er 2011 Thunderfall Cup

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    Time is a greater obstacle than distance. Anything over a year would be really hard to maintain.
     
  2. Boundless

    Boundless Deity

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    True, although my argument is that if it has a time-limit on it, then at least you work towards a fixed point with an end result.
     
  3. downtown

    downtown Crafternoon Delight

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    Ha, yeah, it is completely spectacular...if there is such a thing as soul mates, I totally agree. I know a handful of couples that stayed together for 2 years while one guy was on an Mission...but everybody tries it, and almost everybody fails.

    My lady is going to be gone for the next month and a half or so, but like everybody said, with clearly defined time frames and constant communication, it may be ok.
     
  4. Masquerouge

    Masquerouge Deity

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    For me, no way. What I look for in a relationship can not be fulfilled by being long-distance.
     
  5. jtb1127

    jtb1127 Deity

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    I don't think so
     
  6. GenMarshall

    GenMarshall High Elven Ghost Agent

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    Somehow, after browsing some online dating sites, I might have to extend my radius a bit more. So there is a possibility that I'd have to make a LDR (in my perspective) work. Even if it means casting my line into Hartford or Providence, RI.
     
  7. nocho

    nocho Deity

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    Yes it can, had one for 3 years living 1500 kms apart before finally moving and after 3 years more of living together, we're happily married for 5 now. :)

    I guess you should both be a bit mature though and quite clear about your ideas and intentions.
     
  8. Boundless

    Boundless Deity

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    Ah congratulations, that's wonderful :)
     
  9. LucyDuke

    LucyDuke staring at the clock

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    I was thinking on this a bit, I'm not sure if it's been mentioned yet.

    If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it's yours forever. If not, it was never meant to be.

    Distance is a huge strain on a relationship, especially for attractive people that like sex. Subjecting your relationship to that sort of strain, where you stay exclusive and masturbate a lot, you could very well cultivate a creeping resentment. That's some serious poison, but perhaps staying together for a period of time is not the only track to a future together.

    It may be a good idea to call off the monogamy embargo and follow your own roads while you're apart. Keep in touch as much as you feel you should, but don't take the continuity of the sexual relationship for granted. In a year or two or three, when the geographic situations change, either both parties have realized they weren't soulmates (or whatever) as they thought they were, or one party will have decided something else is better, or you'll both be enthusiastic about getting back together. If a relationship can't stand such a trial, who's to say it can stand the rest of the trials that come up in life?

    My personal stance on monogamy and long-term commitment makes this route very attractive. I'm not going to invoke fate, but if a relationship is "destined" to work out, it will work out somehow. If it can't survive the trial of separation, perhaps it wasn't as strong as you supposed - in which case trying to sustain it would have been a waste of time and emotion.

    In this light I would suggest that you call it off. Don't torture yourself over assisted orgasms, and don't begrudge his taking care of business in your absence. As life changes, you may have the opportunity to get back together. If you still want it badly enough, you'll make that opportunity. If not, well, there are any number of ways it wouldn't've worked out, this just happened to be the one you ended up with.

    /verbal diarrhea
     
  10. Yeekim

    Yeekim Deity

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    :hatsoff: to Lucy.
     
  11. Leifmk

    Leifmk Deity

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    Yeah.

    I've tried LDRs twice; the first time it was doomed and screwed me up for years, the second time it resulted in marriage (still ongoing). Having a clear time limit on either the long-distance part or the relationship part is a pretty good idea.
     
  12. Boundless

    Boundless Deity

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    Very true. I think we've probably established that long-distance relationships are highly subjective. My personal stance on monogamy seemsvery much like yours too, but I'm sure others would completely disagree.
    As for my personal situation, I think your advise is very sound and has hit the nail on the head, so thank you :).
     
  13. Godwynn

    Godwynn March to the Sea

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    aaaaaaand it's gone.
     
  14. Boundless

    Boundless Deity

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    Oh bubs :( you ok?
     
  15. stormerne

    stormerne is just a Retired Moderator

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    Long distance relationships can work. If you both want them to and you're exactly right for each other.

    I had a long distance relationship for 2½ years. The distance involved was 4300 miles. We saw each other for two weeks every two months. Now we're married. :)
     
  16. aelf

    aelf Ashen One

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    About to get into one in a week. The distance is 15,360.5 km. Have been together for 4 years, though, so that might make a difference.

    Has everyone failed or is the support group still a viable idea?
     
  17. Boundless

    Boundless Deity

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    I believe it can work, though naturally it is easier when you're close. I did 300 miles for 3 months and it worked, but mostly because we knew it would be over that quickly. Support group starts at me though, happy to help :D
     
  18. aelf

    aelf Ashen One

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    Thanks! It will probably be fine for the first month or two, though. After that, I really can't say. I'm trying to plan it such that no longer than 6 months passes between visits, but it's tough when you have no money. We're looking at possibly 2 years apart, maybe less. Could be more, but by then it would probably have been decided (i.e. either looking at marriage or bust).
     
  19. Boundless

    Boundless Deity

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    Who is going where? Why the change? :(
     
  20. aelf

    aelf Ashen One

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    I'm going to London to work. There's more work there that interests me than back home. I think it will really make a lot of difference, and that's why I'm choosing to go through with it despite having to weather the long distance relationship.
     

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