Can a long-distance relationship work?

[emzie]

My wife and I did the long distance thing for ~2 years. We've been married for 4 years now.

If you don't have any intention or plans to move in together and stop long-distance part of the relationship, it will fail.

 

[bathsheba666]

Four months after my son was born, I moved to Germany for 18 months.

That made me really popular.

 

[i_imperator]

My roomate's best friend has a girlfriend in america while he lives in Cork. So thats like 3000+ miles, should work for 300 then!!

 

[Boundless]

My roomate's best friend has a girlfriend in america while he lives in Cork. So thats like 3000+ miles, should work for 300 then!!

THANK YOU. Gah. If only everyone was as sensible as them

 

[Syterion]

No. Only if there is a clearly defined time that they will be moving to be together. Ideally less than a year.

Relationships with people need real interaction to be meaningful.

 

[Boundless]

Why 6 months?

 

[DroopyTofu]

Good timing for this thread. I'm attempting a long-distance relationship that's not technically a "relationship" with a girl about 1,800 miles away for the next 2 months or so. We decided we didn't want to be in a "relationship" when we were apart, so technically we're "just friends" and both agreed we could see other people, but neither of us are and we both treat it like we're a couple, even though we aren't in name. It's not fun. I wouldn't recomend it to anyone, but the circumstances made this the only option for us. It's hard, but I guess if you're both willing to work at it, it could work. Especially if you're close enough together that it's feasable to see each other every once in a while.

 

[Integral]

I'm getting the feeling we need to start a CFC LDR support group...

 

[emzie]

No. Only if there is a clearly defined time that they will be moving to be together. Ideally less than a year.

Relationships with people need real interaction to be meaningful.

You can visit before moving in together. Wife and I would see each other every other month.

 

[_random_]

My sister and her husband had a long distance relationship. Of course, their time as a couple prior to their engagement lasted 10 days, so I can't offer any anecdotes about long-distance relationships over time. It seems like it'd be difficult.

 

[Syterion]

Why 6 months?

Dunno, I put it at first because when you're young, you can change a lot in a year. 6 months seemed safe to be able to rekindle what was there.

 

[Neonanocyborgasm]

A long distance relationship can only work if it is for a limited time, such as a few months. If it is have no known limit of separation, it's impossible. Inevitably, one or the other partner will stray. Who can blame them? It's a relationship without a partner, after all.

 

[GenMarshall]

I hate to sound pessimistic on this, but a long distance relationship does not work most of the time.

 

[Mathalamus]

i am in a long distance relationship, but its difficult to keep it together. i live in Calgary and she lives somewhere in Kentucky.

like civgeneral, i have little hope that it will actually work, but i am trying my best.

 

[sparkRyder78j]

I think it can work and if it works the bond is even stronger than a close distance relationship

 

[Elrohir]

That depends. Are you dating Abaddon?


They can work, anecdotally, but they're obviously very difficult, and that stress tends to break most relationships up. The longer the couple has been together the more likely it is to work out, I would think. The length of time would also make a big difference -- if you can't last a month, then it's not much of a relationship, but living apart for years without an end in sight would be discouraging and nearly impossible for almost anyone. (Particularly absent the personal, social, and legal bonds of marriage.) Visits make it easier, but only so much; think of it like taking short naps instead of sleeping through the night. It helps quite a bit, especially in the long run, but it's no replacement for the real thing, and you'll pay a price for it, even if you can stand it long enough.

 

[Godwynn]

somewhere in Kentucky.

Sounds legit bro.

 

[Holycannoli]

They usually don't work. The last long distance relationship I was in wasn't really that long (45 minute drive between us) and lasted for 3 years, but eventually even that small distance took it's toll.

We were also young, in our early 20s, and youth brings a whole different dynamic to the game. The saying "there's plenty of fish in the sea" is doubly true when you're young, and "absence makes the heart grow fonder" eventually no longer proves true.

 

[Defiant47]

Experience has taught me a painful and resounding no.

 

[Defiant47]

Both my marriages started out as long-distance relationships. I would say that it can work in the short-term, maybe up to 12months or so, but there has to be a clearly shared understanding and goal of one or the other person moving. I've never seen a long-distance relationship hold up when one side or the other thought that it was going to stay long-distance till whenever.

This sums it up, pretty much.