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Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Narz, Aug 19, 2009.

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  1. Olleus

    Olleus Deity

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2005
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    Beyond the Veil
    Always ready and finished in a couple of minutes.
     
  2. Earthling

    Earthling Deity

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2008
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    8,518
    Really, I thought this one would be self-evident to the posters around here, but I'll take the credit anyway:

    I like my women like I like my toaster: the spine glows red when operating properly.
     
  3. Mise

    Mise isle of lucy

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2004
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    28,623
    Location:
    London, UK
    Thought this was appropriate here:


    Spoiler :
    Alt text reads:
    Well, sex is like a velociraptor: despite your movie-fueled lifelong neurotic obsession, unlikely to be found in your house.
     
  4. Perfection

    Perfection The Great Head.

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2002
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    Everyone loses. Free for all on next one.
     
  5. Fr8monkey

    Fr8monkey Deity

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2001
    Messages:
    2,531
    Location:
    In the world of tomorrow!!
    OK. I'll go.

    My average Civilization IV game winds up alot like my life...
     
  6. Yeekim

    Yeekim Moderator Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
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    10,638
    Location:
    Estonia
    My average Civilization IV game winds up alot like my life: effed up by crazy Latinas.


    Spoiler :
    Actually, there is not many Latinas in these parts of the world, but that was the first I could come up with...
     
  7. Perfection

    Perfection The Great Head.

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2002
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    My average Civilization IV game winds up alot like my life: with me all alone.
     
  8. Mise

    Mise isle of lucy

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2004
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    28,623
    Location:
    London, UK
    My average Civilization IV game winds up alot like my life: I don't have either.
     
  9. Dumanios

    Dumanios MLG

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2008
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    4,886
    My average Civilization IV game winds up alot like my life:With me flipping someone off.
     
  10. Fugitive Sisyphus

    Fugitive Sisyphus Escape Artist

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2005
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    3,135
    Location:
    Florida
    My average Civilization IV game winds up a lot like my life: I spend most of it wanting to nail Catherine.


    :mischief:
     
  11. Joecoolyo

    Joecoolyo 99% Lightspeed

    Joined:
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    My average Civilization IV game winds up a lot like my life: Never have one since CFC takes up so much of my time
     
  12. Earthling

    Earthling Deity

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    Well, if there are fans of BSG in this thread, I might as well be done with it. I'll give one on the current topic just for show and be off

    My average Civilization IV game winds up a lot like my life: Abusive yahoos like Ghengis chase after fast and forgettable "friends" like Cathy, religious fundy Monty subordinates a many years younger Izzy, uppity rich twits like Mansa buy the love of simple, backwards farm girls like Boudica, Cyrus and Hattie obviously engage in and creepily discuss their S&M, even hopeless loser likes Toku chase after high class girls like Elizabeth, and I'm single, busy studying science, and trying to ignore all the drama.

    (See, I play huge maps. And the part about Cyrus is not metaphor - the two leaders are programmed that way. Also: this would be pretty cool with the average FFH game too but like I said, this thread has no heart for me)
     
  13. carmen510

    carmen510 Deity

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    NESing Forums
    My average Civilization IV game winds up a lot like my life: Meaningless and wasted time.

    (My like life, Civ4's only purpose is Civ4 itself)
     
  14. LAnkou

    LAnkou Breizh A Tao

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    Paris, première ville bretonne
    My average Civilization IV game winds up a lot like my life: started well, made the good choice to be in a confortable position, always aiming higher...
     
  15. Sharwood

    Sharwood Rich, doctor nephew

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    A little place outside Atlanta
    My average Civilization IV game winds up a lot like my life: I get disillusioned and swear to start over every few hours.
     
  16. Fr8monkey

    Fr8monkey Deity

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    In the world of tomorrow!!
    And the emmy goes to....
    Spoiler :
    Earthling!!


    Mise gets honerable mention.
     
  17. Bobbtjoe

    Bobbtjoe Emperor

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2009
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    1,670
    Location:
    Pepperland, California
    Bobbtjoe is back from the dead! :devil:

    My month long ban has ended!!! :woohoo:

    Sadly, yes. :(

    You can still be banned and have your avatar. ;)


    I do have a sig. :(
    Yes, and yes again. :(

    :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


    I can't wait to see the answers to this!

    wrong again, and epic troll =/= 12 year old. Learn your math!


    Ahh, thanks! :pat:


    :( I rather enjoyed it...















    Anyway, I know I've been a little late but the winner is...
    Spoiler :



    You're up!:D

    Moderator Action: long post, mostly spam and talking about your ban, with one quoted joke.
    Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
     
  18. Joecoolyo

    Joecoolyo 99% Lightspeed

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    茨城県
  19. Dumanios

    Dumanios MLG

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    4,886
  20. Zack

    Zack 99% hot gas

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    Location:
    insert joke
    :rolleyes: I PMed you about this.Moderator Action: Which was to correct the correct way, rather than posting here, to communicate upon this
    Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
     
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