Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Parto Uno:

[The Omega]

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Stolen from a rich neighborhood to be sold on the black market

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Shared by the whole family

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Covered in leather and won't let me roam outside the cell

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Constantly taking pictures of my penis

......
No! I will not surrender! I WILL FIGHT ON!!!!

I like my women like my cell phone: With a touch screen and lots of free features.

I like my women like my cell phone: Given away in 2 for 1 offers.

I like my women like my cell phones: Thrown in a trash can when used up.

I like my women like my cell phones: Not allowed to make noise in classrooms.

 

[choxorn]

I like my women like my cell phone: With an on/off switch, and a vibrate setting.

 

[Perfection]

Face it, Omega you lost.

Just to rub it in:

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Doesn't go berzerk when left out in the rain

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Spreads open with a simple caress on the side

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Doesn't play games, doesn't make me listen to stupid music, doesn't give me directions, just does what it damn well is supposed to do!

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Able to take a lot of abuse

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

I like my women like I like my cell phone: with a Mute button.

 

[The Omega]

I can still win! Yeah! I just need to.... Post more of these than you! Yes, that's it! This contest isn't about quality, it's about quantity! How could I be so blind?

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Stops making noise if you hit it hard enough.

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Completely ignored unless I really need it.

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Only requiring a monthly payment.

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Kept in a pocket/backpack/whatever for most of the day.

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Legally considered property.

 

[Sharwood]

I like my women like I like my my cell phone: only used once a week for an hour, in three twenty minute intervals.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

I like my women like I like my my cell phone: low on batteries.

 

[Sharwood]

I like my women like I like my cell phone: easily replaced every time a new model catches my eye.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

Online Version Rules

So online, this will run something like the caption contest:

• I will take the first turn.
• Whoever's turn it is selects a random object and selects one of the two sentences, and posts the combination of these as the category phrase.
• Players have 24 hours to post their best ending to the category phrase. Please stay in the forum rules.
• The original poster selects a winner, and the winner has 24 hours to post the next category phrase.

Round 1 coming in the next post...

Suggested added rule: When posting more than one, only the first one of the submissions counts.

 

[warpus]

i like my women like i like my cell phone: made in finland and a pleasure to finger

 

[Truronian]

I like my women like I like my cell phone: turned on.

Spoiler :

I like my women like I like my cell phone: no more than 7 or 8 years old.

I vote this one wins the round.

 

[Veritass]

I like my women like I like my cell phone: sleek, black, slim, can be muted, and by golly it was a steal at twice the price.

I declare scherbchen the winner of this round. Please post the next round.

Note: I have edited the rules in the OP so only the first entry from any competitor is counted. So think a moment and make one entry; no going for volume (though I did get a chuckle out of the back-and-forth).

By the way, I like my women like I like me cell phone: if they're not in my pants, they're under my thumb.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

The rule still works if you want to make more contributions (which I also enjoyed. Just make sure the first is the best one)

Well done Scherbchen

 

[Mise]

What about we embolden our best contribution, otherwise I'd just edit my first post to put a better one in I'd quite like a limit to the number of contributions, but I think one is too low... what about 3?

 

[choxorn]

Yeah, how about not our first, but any one of our choice? That way we don't have to edit if we come up with a better one later.

 

[scherbchen]

I declare scherbchen the winner of this round. Please post the next round.

Note: I have edited the rules in the OP so only the first entry from any competitor is counted. So think a moment and make one entry; no going for volume (though I did get a chuckle out of the back-and-forth).

By the way, I like my women like I like me cell phone: if they're not in my pants, they're under my thumb.

well that was unexpected. allow me...

I like my women like I like my roleplaying-games:

make 'em count!

 

[choxorn]

I like my women like my role-playing games: Having fun and letting my wildest and weirdest fantasies come true.

 

[Firestorm94]

I like my women like I like my roleplaying games: more fun as you progress.

 

[Kennigit]

I like my women like I like my roleplaying games: low in intelligence, high in charisma, and hotter than fireballs with a 20 roll.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

I like my women like my roleplaying games: $19.99 a month.