Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Parto Uno:

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I like my women like I like my cell phone: Stolen from a rich neighborhood to be sold on the black market

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Shared by the whole family

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Covered in leather and won't let me roam outside the cell

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Constantly taking pictures of my penis

......
No! I will not surrender! I WILL FIGHT ON!!!!

I like my women like my cell phone: With a touch screen and lots of free features.

I like my women like my cell phone: Given away in 2 for 1 offers.

I like my women like my cell phones: Thrown in a trash can when used up.

I like my women like my cell phones: Not allowed to make noise in classrooms.
 
I like my women like my cell phone: With an on/off switch, and a vibrate setting.
 
Face it, Omega you lost.

Just to rub it in:

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Doesn't go berzerk when left out in the rain

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Spreads open with a simple caress on the side

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Doesn't play games, doesn't make me listen to stupid music, doesn't give me directions, just does what it damn well is supposed to do!

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Able to take a lot of abuse
 
:twitch:
I can still win! Yeah! I just need to.... Post more of these than you! Yes, that's it! This contest isn't about quality, it's about quantity! How could I be so blind?:mischief::crazyeye:

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Stops making noise if you hit it hard enough.

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Completely ignored unless I really need it.

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Only requiring a monthly payment.

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Kept in a pocket/backpack/whatever for most of the day.

I like my women like I like my cell phone: Legally considered property.
 
I like my women like I like my my cell phone: only used once a week for an hour, in three twenty minute intervals.
 
I like my women like I like my cell phone: easily replaced every time a new model catches my eye.
 
Online Version Rules

So online, this will run something like the caption contest:
  • I will take the first turn.
  • Whoever's turn it is selects a random object and selects one of the two sentences, and posts the combination of these as the category phrase.
  • Players have 24 hours to post their best ending to the category phrase. Please stay in the forum rules.
  • The original poster selects a winner, and the winner has 24 hours to post the next category phrase.
Round 1 coming in the next post...
Suggested added rule: When posting more than one, only the first one of the submissions counts.
 
I like my women like I like my cell phone: turned on.

Spoiler :
I like my women like I like my cell phone: no more than 7 or 8 years old.

I vote this one wins the round.
 
I like my women like I like my cell phone: sleek, black, slim, can be muted, and by golly it was a steal at twice the price.

I declare scherbchen the winner of this round. Please post the next round.

Note: I have edited the rules in the OP so only the first entry from any competitor is counted. So think a moment and make one entry; no going for volume (though I did get a chuckle out of the back-and-forth).

By the way, I like my women like I like me cell phone: if they're not in my pants, they're under my thumb.
 
The rule still works if you want to make more contributions (which I also enjoyed. Just make sure the first is the best one) :)

Well done Scherbchen :thumbsup:
 
What about we embolden our best contribution, otherwise I'd just edit my first post to put a better one in :p I'd quite like a limit to the number of contributions, but I think one is too low... what about 3?
 
Yeah, how about not our first, but any one of our choice? That way we don't have to edit if we come up with a better one later.
 
I declare scherbchen the winner of this round. Please post the next round.

Note: I have edited the rules in the OP so only the first entry from any competitor is counted. So think a moment and make one entry; no going for volume (though I did get a chuckle out of the back-and-forth).

By the way, I like my women like I like me cell phone: if they're not in my pants, they're under my thumb.

well that was unexpected. allow me...

I like my women like I like my roleplaying-games:

make 'em count!
 
I like my women like my role-playing games: Having fun and letting my wildest and weirdest fantasies come true.
 
I like my women like I like my roleplaying games: low in intelligence, high in charisma, and hotter than fireballs with a 20 roll.
 
I like my women like my roleplaying games: $19.99 a month.
 
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