Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Parto Uno:

[Fr8monkey]

I like my women like I like my cars: Created in 1996, Fill them full of juice and drive them like you stole it.

 

[Kal'thzar]

I like my women like I like my cars: worn out

 

[choxorn]

I like my women like I like my cars: I've already been in and had fun with them on the first time.

 

[dwaxe]

I like my women like I like my cars: small and from Japan, but still fits five comfortably.

 

[Bobbtjoe]

I like my women like I like my cars: Lots of head room.

 

[Sharwood]

I like my women like I like my cars: nice headlights, but always getting rear-ended.

 

[Truronian]

I like my women like I like my cars: numberous.

 

[Perfection]

I like my women like I like my cars: freshly waxed.

 

[Gooblah]

I like my women like I like my cars: kick 'em hard enough and they'll start going again.

 

[Zack]

I like my women like I like my cars: Created in 1996, Fill them full of juice and drive them like you stole it.

Winner winner chicken dinner!

Mine was- I like my women like I like my cars: willing to let me clean them.

 

[Fr8monkey]

Wow, thanks z4ckdabeast. Didn't expect that. So many good ones.

Lets go in a different direction:

I like my dog more than I like my friends because:

 

[Bobbtjoe]

I like my dog better than my friends because one eats all the food, reuins your stuff, and makes a mess everywhere, while the other one's a dog.

 

[dwaxe]

I like my dog more than I like my friends because my wife can't have sex with a dog.

 

[dwaxe]

Crap, I just walked in on them doing it on the carpet.

 

[Sharwood]

I like my dog more than I like my friends because: if you take your pants off and smear your genitals with peanut butter in front of your friends, you can't go back to the way things were before after a shower.

 

[Narz]

I like my dog more than I like my friends because: if you take your pants off and smear your genitals with peanut butter in front of your friends, you can't go back to the way things were before after a shower.

lol, I almost went with that one but I figured I'd leave it for you.

 

[Narz]

I like my dog more than I like my friends because:

The Chinese restaurant doesn't serve my friends.

 

[Kal'thzar]

I like my dog better than my friends because the voices don't tell me to kill him...

 

[Sharwood]

lol, I almost went with that one but I figured I'd leave it for you.

I'm just glad no-one beat me to it.

 

[choxorn]

I like my dog better than I like my friends because my dog's not an arse.

Basically, every other thing rolled into one.