useless
Social Justice Rogue
You could alternatively leave us all alone as well.
If you have nothing nice to say...
- Thread starter JonBonham
- Start date
ParadigmShifter
Random Nonsense Generator
Well, being banned several times and having to change your username because everyone thinks you are a bit of a weirdo is probably a good reason to not post your weirdo views 
useless
Social Justice Rogue
To be fair to all of us, I assumed you were speaking about homosexuality since you used the phrase "living in sin".
GhostWriter16
Deity
I meant any kind of habitual sin, which could include homosexuality, adultery, fornication, drug or alcohol addiction, gambling addiction, being a pathological liar, exc. It does include homosexuality, but hardly singles it out.
useless
Social Justice Rogue
Again, I'm pretty sure if anyone wanted your "help" they would ask or make some sort of obvious signal for it.
ParadigmShifter
Random Nonsense Generator
Help help i'm being fornicated
Borachio
Way past lunacy
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2012
- Messages
- 26,698
Hey, guys. Men. People!
Leave my old mate Dommy=Ghosty alone will you? S/He's clearly not doing you lot any harm.
@Dommy=Ghosty me old mate. You pay them no mind. They're only teasing. Come, if you want to abuse someone for their lifestyle, what say you abuse mine? Loads of juicy material for you here.
PS A person cannot have too many names to my mind. What's your next choice going to be?
Leave my old mate Dommy=Ghosty alone will you? S/He's clearly not doing you lot any harm.
@Dommy=Ghosty me old mate. You pay them no mind. They're only teasing. Come, if you want to abuse someone for their lifestyle, what say you abuse mine? Loads of juicy material for you here.
PS A person cannot have too many names to my mind. What's your next choice going to be?
classical_hero
In whom I trust
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
If you are not prepared to criticise people when they have to be criticised, then you are doing both yourself and them a disservice. The truth hurts, but a lie hurts even more, so telling the truth to someone you love cn often mean stepping on people's toes.
If you are not prepared to criticise people when they have to be criticised, then you are doing both yourself and them a disservice. The truth hurts, but a lie hurts even more, so telling the truth to someone you love cn often mean stepping on people's toes.
shadowplay
your ad here
But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Moderator Action: Please do not let this get personal and antagonistic towards one another. The topic is good, don't wreck it.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
Hi, my fault for being vague, but no it has nothing to do with anyone being gay, that's not something I would have any issue with.
My default stance is currently silence, and it causes distance, awkward silent interactions where they are trying to just do normal everyday things with me but I can't bring myself to even do that because of how I feel about them.
As for taking criticism myself, that's not something I have issue with. If it was directed at me, i'd learn something from it, either about the person doing it (they have no idea what they are talking about) or about myself (they have a point) but it's impossible to bring up what I want to say without it being dismissed (attempt to be civil about it) or really hurt the other people's feelings that it closes them off to anything being said.
So it's not like I've never tried to bring the issues up, but it goes nowhere, and so now I can't stand being around them to do just regular normal things or anything, and yet they wonder why I am distancing myself and feel bad that I do not make time for them.
As for the situation itself, well, I am repulsed by these specific people because of the amount of repulsion they have and display for/towards each other. Ironic I know.
The thing is, nothing really tragic has occured for anyone to be loathe the others as much as they do, bad decisions and unforutunate experiences did cause end up in a situation that could be better, but it's not like anyone is starving or abused. The parental figure however has an uninvolved way of 'parenting' to almost have given up on it completely, single mom that did try her best but now of course her adult kid is the resentful kind and that has passed on to the teen kids, who also despise eachother for the way they, well, treat each other.
So the teen kids don't even talk to eachother or their mom even though they all live in the same house and it's been like this for a good several years, pretty much they all just tolerate each other. The mom dismisses her kids attitudes as childish and based on this or that, but they do have valid reasons for disapproving of several of her life choices in terms of how she handled work/money (never stupid like gambling but rather naive, good intentions with poor results) focuses a lot of energy on trying to get child support even though it's a lost cause so lots of negativety and of course her lack of being able to deal with teen kids problems (upset at discipline for x reasons or no discipline for y reasons or more often than not just getting exasperated causing fits of frustration that solve nothing and just antagonize everyone) and etc.
But then the adult kid and the teens do not help by just acting out and hating each other to the point that they are worse than strangers in the house they all (excpet the adult who's on his own) live together in.
Where do I fit in? Well I am in a relationship with one of the teens (we are both 17) but I have known them all for, well, almost ever, and it use to be that we were close like family, but as they became the way they are I am ever distancing myself and it never used to be but now it's awkward when I'm around the mom or other kids and I can't really even discuss the whole thing with the gf as she is also part of and contributing to the negative atmosphere that pervades their family.
If it was just any girl I'd cut and run, but like I said, they are like family and they all still treat me like (normal) family and try to continue to be close like it used to be, but, I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know how to stay in a relationship or even just friend's with the gf, or friends with the rest of them but I hate seeing them in the state they are in.
The gf is the least antagonistic with her mom but they never speak, same thing she only wants to bring up the faults, even when her mom reaches out to just do normal mother-daughter things it goes nowhere,(and the mom never reaches out to find out or address the state of hate going on, just accepts that they'll grow out of it) and she is at worse odds with her brother (the teen) and the older one just ignores them all due to the resentment.
TL;DR just regular family problems, what's the best way to deal with them?
My default stance is currently silence, and it causes distance, awkward silent interactions where they are trying to just do normal everyday things with me but I can't bring myself to even do that because of how I feel about them.
As for taking criticism myself, that's not something I have issue with. If it was directed at me, i'd learn something from it, either about the person doing it (they have no idea what they are talking about) or about myself (they have a point) but it's impossible to bring up what I want to say without it being dismissed (attempt to be civil about it) or really hurt the other people's feelings that it closes them off to anything being said.
So it's not like I've never tried to bring the issues up, but it goes nowhere, and so now I can't stand being around them to do just regular normal things or anything, and yet they wonder why I am distancing myself and feel bad that I do not make time for them.
As for the situation itself, well, I am repulsed by these specific people because of the amount of repulsion they have and display for/towards each other. Ironic I know.
The thing is, nothing really tragic has occured for anyone to be loathe the others as much as they do, bad decisions and unforutunate experiences did cause end up in a situation that could be better, but it's not like anyone is starving or abused. The parental figure however has an uninvolved way of 'parenting' to almost have given up on it completely, single mom that did try her best but now of course her adult kid is the resentful kind and that has passed on to the teen kids, who also despise eachother for the way they, well, treat each other.
So the teen kids don't even talk to eachother or their mom even though they all live in the same house and it's been like this for a good several years, pretty much they all just tolerate each other. The mom dismisses her kids attitudes as childish and based on this or that, but they do have valid reasons for disapproving of several of her life choices in terms of how she handled work/money (never stupid like gambling but rather naive, good intentions with poor results) focuses a lot of energy on trying to get child support even though it's a lost cause so lots of negativety and of course her lack of being able to deal with teen kids problems (upset at discipline for x reasons or no discipline for y reasons or more often than not just getting exasperated causing fits of frustration that solve nothing and just antagonize everyone) and etc.
But then the adult kid and the teens do not help by just acting out and hating each other to the point that they are worse than strangers in the house they all (excpet the adult who's on his own) live together in.
Where do I fit in? Well I am in a relationship with one of the teens (we are both 17) but I have known them all for, well, almost ever, and it use to be that we were close like family, but as they became the way they are I am ever distancing myself and it never used to be but now it's awkward when I'm around the mom or other kids and I can't really even discuss the whole thing with the gf as she is also part of and contributing to the negative atmosphere that pervades their family.
If it was just any girl I'd cut and run, but like I said, they are like family and they all still treat me like (normal) family and try to continue to be close like it used to be, but, I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know how to stay in a relationship or even just friend's with the gf, or friends with the rest of them but I hate seeing them in the state they are in.
The gf is the least antagonistic with her mom but they never speak, same thing she only wants to bring up the faults, even when her mom reaches out to just do normal mother-daughter things it goes nowhere,(and the mom never reaches out to find out or address the state of hate going on, just accepts that they'll grow out of it) and she is at worse odds with her brother (the teen) and the older one just ignores them all due to the resentment.
TL;DR just regular family problems, what's the best way to deal with them?
aelf
Ashen One
In other words, you're quicker to judge other Christians? That's not a church I'd want to be in.
Borachio
Way past lunacy
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2012
- Messages
- 26,698
This is interesting! Thomas a Kempis was really keen on the science of nit-picking with regard to members' sins. Where members were those of religious communities.
Thomas a Kempis The Imitation of Christ
So, I would suggest, Dommy=Ghosty's position is not that outrageous in that context.
Though amongst you guys, I'm not sure what he hopes to achieve, except alienation from the community, which he seems, to my casual eye, to have done already, largely.
I think it's a shame.
Thomas a Kempis The Imitation of Christ
So, I would suggest, Dommy=Ghosty's position is not that outrageous in that context.
Though amongst you guys, I'm not sure what he hopes to achieve, except alienation from the community, which he seems, to my casual eye, to have done already, largely.
I think it's a shame.
warpus
Sommerswerd asked me to change this
I have a knack for saying inappropriate things, be it at the office, out with friends, or what not. Usually it's funny so that's cool, but every once in a while I have to run away from angry mobs.. which can be a good workout.. Just don't put me in the same room as a group of marathon runners and I'll be fine
GhostWriter16
Deity
An unbeliever may well not care that he is sinning, but a believer, by assumption, does....
You'd need to understand church discipline first, and you probably don't want me to get into that...
aelf
Ashen One
I understand proper church discipline enough to know that it includes leaving judgement to God. Not something many PhariseesChristians understand, unfortunately.
ParadigmShifter
Random Nonsense Generator
Never been disciplined by Nuns then? I heard that was proper harsh.
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