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[RD] I'm transitioning. If you've ever been confused about the T in LGBT, ask me anything

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by emzie, Mar 18, 2016.

  1. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Moderator

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    Moderator Action: For the record, this is still an "Ask a ..." thread and the usual rules will be observed. Feel free not to participate if you cannot obey them, lest compliance be forced upon you.
    Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
     
  2. schlaufuchs

    schlaufuchs La Femme Moderne

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    More like: "I'm not racist, ebony is my favorite porn category."
     
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  3. gay_Aleks

    gay_Aleks communism will win.

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    not to repeat what the good mods have already said, but we're taking in any good faith questions about trans people (which, coincidentally enough, also includes non-binary people, as already established!). We would love to answer them, as a matter of fact.
     
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  4. tjs282

    tjs282 Socially distancing since 1975

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    Honest but fairly casual question here, please feel free to ignore it. My iTunes started (randomly) playing Aerosmith's Permanent Vacation yesterday, and when it came up, I started wondering (again): "Dude Looks Like a Lady" = transphobic or not?

    I mean, from what I've read here (and thank you all for being willing to do this), I'm pretty sure that (trans)women would generally object to being called a 'dude', and certainly to the suggestion that they only 'look' like (cis)women. So it seems like that's a hard yes, on the face of it. But apart from the title/chorus, if you actually listen to the verses, the singer* does seem to agree (although admittedly the pronoun-usage is not completely consistent) that his newest lover is indeed a she, and expresses amusement at and acceptance of the situation, rather than hostility or even resentment for being "surprised"**.

    I'm not saying the song is completely inoffensive — it is Aerosmith, after all, so was intended to be shocking (at least in 1987) — and I guess that even at best it's probably still fetishising and/or objectification and/or exploitative, but since I'm not really in a position to answer the initial question for sure myself, I'd be interested to know what do the owners of this thread think?

    *(I assume cis-male, though possibly also wrongly)
    **(This is the word used in the song. I've tried to avoid using any loaded terms in this post myself, but if I've failed, then I apologise for any offence caused, and I would ask to be educated).
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2020
  5. Hrothbern

    Hrothbern Deity

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    Some good news on the T of LGBT

    Belgium got after almost 500 days negotiating a new cabinet and a transgender Deputy Prime Minister.
    Everybody knew, nobody was bothered :)

     
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  6. Yeekim

    Yeekim Deity

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    Damn...
    Feeling really sorry for you, girl.

    I assume the drugs are necessary because you intend to get SRS?
    What's the outlook after the operation? Can you realistically expect to have orgasms post-op? :shifty:
     
  7. emzie

    emzie wicked witch of the North

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    To get a gauge on how transphobic it is, I would contrast it to The Kinks song, "Lola" or to Lou Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side" which have the same theme.





    To nitpick, some of the lyrics, "But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man // And so is Lola" and Reed's "Shaved her legs and then he was a she" make me want to add an asterisk: "*this idea has been simplified and may be misleading." Both lyrics misgender the subject. But to my ear, the trans women (note: no one would have used this term in the early 70s) in these songs are respected as people by their writers. I don't think either is remotely transphobic. The opposite, really. It's hard to explain, but when so many people think of anything transgender as being a new thing, I find hearing a song from 1970 describe someone like me to be validating. Not all trans people would agree with me though.

    I don't think "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" is hateful, but I would still consider it transphobic. The theme is again sex with a trans woman, but she's reduced to an object. The vibe I get from the song is that it's okay to have sex with a trans woman, but it's not okay to be a trans woman. This is still a pretty common attitude today, where people think we're acceptable as a category on an adult website, but unacceptable as shoppers in a grocery store. It's also been used in very transphobic settings, like how it was featured in Mrs. Doubtfire, or even more blatantly, when Fox News played it to introduce Chelsea Manning.

    Bit of an afterthought, but I don't think it's transphobic to like the song.

    lol, it's alright. Frequency cited is mostly a reflection of desire not a reflection of ability. There are two medications I take, one blocks the body's ability to use testosterone, and the other is pure unadulterated estrogen. The combination is feminizing, like my leg hair looks like my mom's now not my dad's. There were changes in muscle mass and fat distribution. And I grew boobs. However, women use testosterone, too, just not as much. Low levels of testosterone in women decreases libedo just as it does in men. My T levels are nearly undetectable, well below what a cis woman normally has, and so... side effect.

    After SRS, I won't have to take the blockers anymore (I will continue to take estrogen) and my testosterone levels should go up to the same range cis women normally have. According to my surgeon, 75% of his patients are able to achieve orgasam post op. Or in other words, one day next year there's a 25% I'll have my last one ever. That risk is too high for some people, but I'm okay with it.
     
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  8. Yeekim

    Yeekim Deity

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    Again... damn. Here's hoping you'll be among the 75%.
     
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  9. tjs282

    tjs282 Socially distancing since 1975

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    Thank you very much for that answer (and also, Fox really sucks).

    If you (and your co-posters) are willing, I have some follow-up questions on a similar theme, about the portrayal of trans individuals in popular media in a more general sense:

    You mentioned Lola and WotWS from the 70s, but D(LLaL) is itself already over 30 years old, as is The Crying Game — and Mrs Doubtfire (and Ace Ventura) aren't much younger.

    So my question is, do you feel that media portrayals of trans individuals have been generally improving since the above works were released?

    And if so, are there any that have struck you as particularly "good/helpful" (for whatever reason) or are even the best examples that you can think of still only "least worst/harmful"?
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2020
  10. yung.carl.jung

    yung.carl.jung Hey Bird! I'm Morose & Lugubrious

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    walk on the wild side is one of my favorite songs of all time. the lyrics are a bit blunt buts it's instantly obvious that lou loves the people he's writing about and accepts them completely for what they are. I also think that Lou and Bowie, among many others, were some of the foremost people in popular culture to celebratingly portray nonbinary gender identity and androginity (though both these concepts were no strangers to culture western and otherwise).
     
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  11. JohannaK

    JohannaK Heroically Clueless

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    The Crying Game is fairly good representation, especially for its time... There was no need for Dil to be transgender, and in fact she was not in early versions on the script, but she is trans and inequivocally a woman. She experiences and strong gender dysphoria when made to present male, and her marginalisation is still today an accurate portrayal of the living conditions of many trans women. It's also probably pretty empowering. Dil is the one with the gun at the end. Neil Jordan would come back to the topic with the acclaimed Breakfast On Pluto which I have not seen so I can't comment on, but have a hard time thinking is not sympathetic towards its trans protagonist.

    Also from the 90s and early 2000s, Pedro Almodóvar is known for his representation of LGBT+ identities. All About My Mother does prominently feature trans people. They're all prostitutes. They're also sympathetic, because sympathetic prostitutes are an Almodóvar staple. There's really two of them actually, one who used to be the protagonist's husband, and one who helps the protagonist and does get a job assisting an actress. It's a great movie, but complicated.

    I actually haven't seen all that many trans movies. My favourite's got to be Laurence Anyways, which is actually about a trans woman who has the proverbial room of her own.
     
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  12. sendos

    sendos Immortal

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    My query concerns terms that are apparently considered non-PC and apparently can get you banned off Twitter and I don't know why. So as a trigger warning, I will cover my question with spoilers:

    Spoiler trigger warning :
    I believe I have some idea why the term "shemale" is offensive because it attacks the experience of a transwoman by effectively saying they're still biologically a man and thus they're merely wanting to be referred to do as women as supposedly some childish game, hence why it causes offence to transwomen.

    However, I do not understand why the term "tranny" is also offensive. Why is this term also offensive to transpeople?

    I also wonder if there are other terms that may also be offensive that I should watch out for in public discourse?
     
  13. JohannaK

    JohannaK Heroically Clueless

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    Tranny is basically faggot but for trans people.
     
  14. Crezth

    Crezth 話說天下大勢分久必合合久必分

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    Thank you so much for dropping in on this thread, really. Your insight is staggering.
     

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