General Pilates
Warlord
Wait, so...
... the early Islamic expansion in the 7th-9th centuries which was done almost *entirely* through conquest of non-Islamic cultures - the Eastern Christians under the Roman Empire, the Zoroastrians in Persia, the Western Christians in Iberia and France - wasn't "crazy insane" and violent, but the relatively limited Christian counter-invasions a couple hundred years later (the Crusades and later the Reconquista) were?
Relatively limited? Does Reynald de Chatillion or the first Fall of Jerusalem mean nothing to you? The Arabs hardly destroyed a single city in their conquests; 90% of it was cities agreeing to tribute and then the Arabs moving on. The notable exceptions are Paykand and Istrakhr, but these are exceptions, not the rule. The invasions were rather restrained, in fact, so I'm not sure what you're talking about.
I can't find a single example where the Catholics took back land from the Muslims and it didn't result in some horrible massacre or expulsion. Except maybe Malta.