Nerds need not apply!

[kramerfan86]

As others have pointed out the irony of a tech blogger mocking someone for nerdiness is astounding. I almost hope some jock jerk dumps her for being too big of a nerd for him over the blogging thing.

 

[Leonel]

Link to video.

NEEEEEEEERDS!

 

[Disgustipated]

I really hate women like that. They hate regular guys because all they do is hit on her and make lewd comments. But when she goes out with a nice guy she calls him a nerd. You can't have it both ways lady!

But she does have a semi-valid point. While there is nothing wrong with being a nerd, if you devote your life to something as this guys does (although I don't know how much time his hobby takes up), maybe you should mention it. It's like not mentioning that you are an Astronaut on your profile if you happen to be one. You have to realize he isn't going to have time to give a woman the attention she needs. No one wants to date someone who is so obsessed with a hobby, they don't have any time with you. I've actually been hesitant to write any women who play World of Warcraft, because I know how addictive it is. Why would I want a woman who is too busy raiding, or grinding than to have sex with me? Which is more important? Although I have actually messaged a few female WOW players, but never got a response.

I think I'm a cool nerd. While I do like nerdy things, I also like doing manly things. I'd rather pound a woman hard in the bedroom than watch Star Trek, or raid in World of Warcraft. I'd rather spend a romantic night on the town with a woman, rather than have some nerdy hobby. I do like things like Star Trek, but I don't actually mention it on my OKCupid profile (I'm not currently on OKCupid, but when I am on, I don't mention nerdy things). Am I lying? I like to think not. But I prefer not to reveal my nerdy side, until I get a woman's trust.

 

[History_Buff]

While I agree that she was incredibly shallow, I am very amused by the nerd rage emanating from the Internet's response.

This. I don't even think that she's incredibly shallow. I know a bunch of guys who are very into magic cards, and if they're any example, I don't want to date a girl that is. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing wrong about this whole situation is that she used his real name.

 

[Takhisis]

Bee-yatch. Playing Magic doesn't mean you're a social . Should I start an OKCupid profile and vehemently deny any connections to StarCraft just in case?

 

[Whiskey_Lord]

This. I don't even think that she's incredibly shallow. I know a bunch of guys who are very into magic cards, and if they're any example, I don't want to date a girl that is. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing wrong about this whole situation is that she used his real name.

Jon Finkel is a class act, from what I understand. This broad has no idea what she just passed up.

 

[Gigaz]

The story makes me sad. She's just writing how she met a world champion and how she rejected him for no important reason. Her only trouble is that she wrote a story which is supposed to be read by women into a tech blog for every nerd to read.

 

[NovaKart]

I've gone out with guys who were - married, had been in prison, another guy who was deported from Germany, someone who later threatened me and claimed to have mafia connections (different guy from the previous two), someone who had creepy dolls in his house, several guys who didn't speak any English. Of all of this, the worst experience was this guy who put on episodes of Smallville while we were in bed. Never gone out with a magic:the gatherine fan.

 

[Mise]

Other than "she's a <female dog>" I don't see what else there is to say. She's entitled to date whoever she wants, and if she wants to publicly humiliate her dates then she's entitled to do that too.

John Finkle didn't really take offense either. He said on his twitter that he didn't hold any grudges against Alyssa, and that he was bemused by the whole thing.

Frankly, I simply don't care what that woman thinks. It was a bad article; when I read it a month or so ago I just threw it on my mental garbage heap along with all the other bad articles I had read that day. I don't see why there was such a big fuss over it.

 

[azzaman333]

Don't think she'll be getting too many more dates if she routinely humiliates them to try to justify her high standards.

 

[civ_king]

I really hate women like that. They hate regular guys because all they do is hit on her and make lewd comments. But when she goes out with a nice guy she calls him a nerd. You can't have it both ways lady!

But she does have a semi-valid point. While there is nothing wrong with being a nerd, if you devote your life to something as this guys does (although I don't know how much time his hobby takes up), maybe you should mention it. It's like not mentioning that you are an Astronaut on your profile if you happen to be one. You have to realize he isn't going to have time to give a woman the attention she needs. No one wants to date someone who is so obsessed with a hobby, they don't have any time with you. I've actually been hesitant to write any women who play World of Warcraft, because I know how addictive it is. Why would I want a woman who is too busy raiding, or grinding than to have sex with me? Which is more important? Although I have actually messaged a few female WOW players, but never got a response.

I think I'm a cool nerd. While I do like nerdy things, I also like doing manly things. I'd rather pound a woman hard in the bedroom than watch Star Trek, or raid in World of Warcraft. I'd rather spend a romantic night on the town with a woman, rather than have some nerdy hobby. I do like things like Star Trek, but I don't actually mention it on my OKCupid profile (I'm not currently on OKCupid, but when I am on, I don't mention nerdy things). Am I lying? I like to think not. But I prefer not to reveal my nerdy side, until I get a woman's trust.

Or she could travel with him to tournaments and get to travel all over. How do you know he wont make time for her once they are dating? If you never give people a chance then they didn't have a chance to prove themselves.

I know several attractive girls that love watching Eureka, Warehouse 13, Big Bang Theory, etc. are they nerdy enough that you wouldn't date?

 

[BvBPL]

I don&#8217;t see what the big deal is. That any given person has arbitrary standards for romantic partners is hardly newsworthy.

 

[IglooDame]

I don’t see what the big deal is. That any given person has arbitrary standards for romantic partners is hardly newsworthy.

No, but that a given person blames the (prospective) partner for failing to disclose in advance that they do not meet the arbitrary standards is rather unusual. Taking that blaming to a tech blog where most readers are unlikely to meet the arbitrary standards either is somewhat newsworthy, yes.

 

[Disgustipated]

Or she could travel with him to tournaments and get to travel all over. How do you know he wont make time for her once they are dating? If you never give people a chance then they didn't have a chance to prove themselves.

I know several attractive girls that love watching Eureka, Warehouse 13, Big Bang Theory, etc. are they nerdy enough that you wouldn't date?

No, simply watching a tv show doesn't make you nerdy. But if you devote your entire free time to some nerdy hobby, leaving no other time for normal social interaction, then I could say that maybe you are too nerdy for a woman to want you.

If a woman dropped me because I watched Star Trek every once in a while, I'd be pissed. I'm hardly a hardcore fan, however. It occupies very little of my time (especially since it isn't on the air anymore). But I know there are some fans who live and breathe Star Trek. Like Novakart said above, no one wants someone to put on a favorite episode of theirs when you are in bed with them. Women don't want to be the second most important thing in a man's life, they want to be the most important.

You make a good point that she could travel with him to tournaments and whatnot. Especially since she's a writer, and could do that anywhere.

No, but that a given person blames the (prospective) partner for failing to disclose in advance that they do not meet the arbitrary standards is rather unusual. Taking that blaming to a tech blog where most readers are unlikely to meet the arbitrary standards either is somewhat newsworthy, yes.

I'd also like to add this could also be a good discussion about dating websites such as OKCupid. It amuses me that she things we should disclose these things on our profile. Like I said above, I would never disclose that I like Star Trek. Mainly because of women like this.

 

[Mise]

I agree, partly, with Disgustipated. I mean, someone who is the world champion in something is going to dedicate a hell of a lot of time to it. If you don't also share that particular interest then it's not going to work out for you. And if you spend a lot of your time doing X, then I don't think it's unreasonable to expect you to put X on your online dating profile. I mean, the profile is supposed to reflect who you are and what you do; if you dedicate a lot of your free time to doing X, then that really ought to go on your profile. That's completely different to watching Big Bang Theory once a week. If you spent 20 hours a week watching BBT, OTOH, then, well, I don't really want to date you. We clearly share different interests, and frankly I couldn't stand to watch more than 2 episodes of that show back to back. *shudder*

Put it this way, if he had put on his profile that he was the world champion at MtG, then it would have weeded out this particular female dog, and others like her. It would have, conversely, attracted a lot of less obnoxious and more open-minded girls, too.

 

[IglooDame]

I'd also like to add this could also be a good discussion about dating websites such as OKCupid. It amuses me that she things we should disclose these things on our profile. Like I said above, I would never disclose that I like Star Trek. Mainly because of women like this.

Ummm... but you wouldn't want to date "women like this" anyway, right? So disclosing Star Trek would prevent go-nowhere dates?

I've learned (though it took a while to sink in) to disclose everything right off the bat. Maybe just the high points in something like an online dating profile (in my case it'd include elements like "BDSM", "Dom", "guns", and "geek") to deter the "women like this" and attract the ones who share those interests.

 

[Disgustipated]

I should also mention that while I don't put star trek in my profile, I do put that I play PC games. It is what defines me, and takes up a huge chunk of my time. I feel it's only honest to put that in there. Although it takes up a huge chunk of my time, I have and would gladly put them down for a woman. They would never be more important to me than a woman. But they would always be a part of my life. I expect to be playing them when I'm 60. If I'm with someone, I'd only do it when she was doing her own thing, and I had free time to myself.

Although perhaps I am too honest in my profile, maybe it's why I have no luck.

Ummm... but you wouldn't want to date "women like this" anyway, right? So disclosing Star Trek would prevent go-nowhere dates?

Here's the thing. I don't know about this woman. But many woman see red flags, and just skip over your profile. But once they get to know you and love you, they would overlook such nerdy hobbies. As long as such hobby doesn't take up all my time as I discussed above, it has no impact on them personally. They will accept it once they get to know me. Just like I would accept any stupid TV shows she watches.

 

[Mise]

I think there's a difference between "spending time playing computer games" and "dedicating your life to playing computer games". And I think that's the difference between a casual gamer and a world champion Starcraft 2 player.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

So, she basically seems put off by the fact that he's "a nerd," not by any other aspect of his personality.

In other words, she's an incredibly shallow individual with insulting high standards that do not correlate with her beauty.

Sounds like a typical female to me. Nothing to see here, move along.

 

[metatron]

No one wants to date someone who is so obsessed with a hobby,

This is a rather bad way to put it. It's a sport for Christ's sake. That a lot of 16 year old guys suck at it doesn't make it a "hobby".

Being "obsessed" with a "hobby"? Would you say the same thing about... whoever wins olympic gold medals in snowboarding?

I am confident somebody has called MtG a "game" by now (in this thread or the debate in general), totally missing the point.
As my private chess teacher used to say:
"This is not a game. This is a blood sport. If you don't fight like in such a sport but play like this was a game, you are not a man but a child. Men don't play games."

That's one of the core points of this episode: She is a child. And between the lines she actually admitted that in her piece.
And that is reflected in what kind of man she looks for: She wants - i'm guessing here - a man who "likes to travel" and is "outdoorsy" with whom drinking is fun and who is sportive. In one word: a teenager. With a lot of money of course...

Making hundreds of thousands of dollars playing Magic takes commitment, intelligence and hard work.

Lot's of other guys have the intelligence and have applied themselves in a sufficient fashion. What sets champions apart from those guys is mostly in the realm of character traits, not intellectual potential or hard work.
In many such sports it is very easy to be more talented and better prepared and none the less lose based on your personality (or simply your physical fitness) getting the better of you.

This probably is the eternal misconception about nerddom: The idea that doing some nerdy thing is mostly about having very eccentirc priorities i.e. commiting to some nerdy cause i.e. having "no life".
This is a reflection of "normal people's" fundamental lack of respect for "the nerds": They asume that gangsta rappers (of the top of my head example) are just innately gifted while nerdy champions have - in some pathetic fashion - wasted most of their life training, while the exact opposite can be true and not rarely is true...

I agree, partly, with Disgustipated. I mean, someone who is the world champion in something is going to dedicate a hell of a lot of time to it. If you don't also share that particular interest then it's not going to work out for you.

Depends on what your priorities are in a relationship.
I never felt that urge to have a best friend with benefits kind of a relationship. Me and my girlfriends never shared any common interests. My relationships were mostly based on really old-fashioned stuff: Common attitudes towards sex, family, friends, money, society, religion.
Well, it did never work out, so maybe you have a case...
On the other hand there is an abundance of anecdotal evidence pointing in the other direction as well: How many relationships have you witnessed that were really great, based on common interests only to fall apart quickly as soon as one of the things i listed became actually relevant?