Nerds need not apply!

[Wolfbeckett]

My problem isn't so much that she broke it off with him. He had a lifestyle that she saw as a dealbreaker so she broke it off. Fair enough; it's a bit shallow, but we're all human, everyone is shallow sometimes. My issue is how she went online and tried to publicly embarrass him, as if he should feel deep shame for what he does (which, I hasten to add, he has made a LOT of money doing). That's a ***** move and she should be ashamed for doing it really. Luckily it seems Jon Finkle took it quite well, good on him (and the card he designed was awesome so good on him for that too!)

 

[Mise]

I'm not saying you have to share every interest or even one single interest in order to have a good relationship. But that's mostly because people's interests aren't that big a part of their lives. I'm interested in computer games, for example, but I dont' dedicate my life to computer games to the extent that I became a world champion Starcraft 2 player. I'm certainly happy to date someone with no interest in computer games, because it's not important to me that they share that interest, as the interest isn't all-consuming. OTOH, if I dedicated my life to the pursuit of something, how the hell can I be with someone that not only doesn't have any interest whatsoever in that pursuit, but doesn't even respect the pursuit at all? Conversely, how can I be with someone who dedicates their life to something I have no interest in and explictly don't respect? If someone dedicated their life to building lifesize models of churches out of matchsticks, and spent the majority of their time, energies and thoughts on pursuing that hobby, I don't really see how I could be in a relationship with that person, being as I have no interest in lifesize models of churches made from matchsticks, and actually find the idea rather unpleasant. If I dedicated my life to the eradication of AIDS, it would be difficult to be with someone who thought that AIDS was God's way of punishing gays and found my pursuit of its eradication not only boring, but unpleasant, too.

It just doesn't make sense to date someone with such vastly different interests to you, let alone someone whose interests you explicitly don't respect.

 

[LucyDuke]

So, she basically seems put off by the fact that he's "a nerd," not by any other aspect of his personality.

In other words, she's an incredibly shallow individual with insulting high standards that do not correlate with her beauty.

Sounds like a typical female to me. Nothing to see here, move along.

Right on! Unlike typical males who are never shallow and have perfectly reasonable standards that correlate with their... uh, bank accounts? Goddamn females, keeping us down.

 

[Leonel]

This is a rather bad way to put it. It's a sport for Christ's sake. That a lot of 16 year old guys suck at it doesn't make it a "hobby".

Being "obsessed" with a "hobby"? Would you say the same thing about... whoever wins olympic gold medals in snowboarding?

I am confident somebody has called MtG a "game" by now (in this thread or the debate in general), totally missing the point.
As my private chess teacher used to say:
"This is not a game. This is a blood sport. If you don't fight like in such a sport but play like this was a game, you are not a man but a child. Men don't play games."

Uh I'm pretty sure MtG is about as much a 'sport' as Poker as one isn't pushing themselves physically.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

Right on! Unlike typical males who are never shallow and have perfectly reasonable standards that correlate with their... uh, bank accounts? Goddamn females, keeping us down.

If you wish to hate on typical men as well, simply alert me and I'll be happy to join you.

 

[SuperJay]

So basically, she's mad at him for not realizing that she's a petty, shallow loser who would get hung up on this info.

Obviously everyone has their standards, and I don't have any problem with her deciding they are incompatible. But these comments that he "lied" in his profile and 'infiltrated' OKCupid are just ridiculous and more revealing about her than about him. She's all horrified, as if he hid some past conviction for child molestation.

Maybe she's the one who should provide full disclosure in her OKcupid profile. "WARNING: I am a remarkably shallow person that lacks tact or class. If we are incompatible, I will blame you for lying and infiltrating OkCupid, and I will do so in my public Gizmodo blog even if it makes me look like a [female dog]."

 

[aelf]

Apart from the fact that she wrote an article about it, this seems nothing out of the ordinary. As she herself said, many people are shallow. No use getting worked up over it, if you ask me.

Besides, I don't think this guy came out the loser here, which is good for him. Think about the large numbers of people who pay the price socially for much less public gossip about their life choices or backgrounds, simply because they are not the legend that this guy is in some circles. I don't think he needs anybody's nerd rage, and this much nerd rage isn't going to be expended on behalf of people who are not famous. So, yeah, so much for nerds not being shallow, I guess.

 

[Adrogans]

She writes for a tech blog, and she's taking potshots at someone for being nerdy?

This was my first thought as well. Pot Kettle Black anyone?

 

[Cheetah]

If it wasn't quite clear in my OP, my problem with this particular episode is not that he had some trait that she considered a deal breaker. Everyone has their own standards, I see no reason to judge people on that.

Neither does it bother me much that she feel people (particularly nerds) should have to inform about all non-standard interests and hobbies in their dating profiles. People demand all kinds of weird things.

The fact that she put this up at a place like Gawker shows a lack of judgment and intelligence, but lots of people are stupid, so that's not really a big thing either.

What gets to me is the fact that she thought it was completely acceptable to try to identify and publicly humiliate another person who - from what we can gather from her own writings - has done nothing but treating her well! That shows an absolute lack of decency and common sense.

Luckily public shaming is a great way to force people to conform to civilised practices. It seems like this particular individual has learned her lesson the hard way, and I hope she can serve as a good example to others who might lack a proper understanding of manners.

 

[BvBPL]

That shows an absolute lack of decency and common sense.

I wouldn’t speak to the decency aspect, but her posting her experiences was a really smart move.

She’s a blogger. Her job is to write interesting little diary-like entries to entertain her audience and bring new eyeballs to her employer’s website. She did that in spades here.

You could reasonably say it was a gamble and I wouldn’t necessarily say it paid off for her the way she’d like, but the post did achieve her goals.

Like it or not, both principles involved here are public figures to some marginal degree. If you can’t take the heat of a little public criticism of your geeky game and how it affects the rest of your life then don’t be the world champion. Obviously the champ here can take the heat and bully for him.

 

[Defiant47]

Just because it's somebody's job and because the other person should expect it given their public stature, doesn't make it any more acceptable.

 

[Cheetah]

I wouldn’t speak to the decency aspect, but her posting her experiences was a really smart move.

She’s a blogger. Her job is to write interesting little diary-like entries to entertain her audience and bring new eyeballs to her employer’s website. She did that in spades here.

You could reasonably say it was a gamble and I wouldn’t necessarily say it paid off for her the way she’d like, but the post did achieve her goals.

Like it or not, both principles involved here are public figures to some marginal degree. If you can’t take the heat of a little public criticism of your geeky game and how it affects the rest of your life then don’t be the world champion. Obviously the champ here can take the heat and bully for him.

Public figures - and non-public figures for that matter - should expect to get some attention about things that concern other people.

The dating life - a completely normal dating life mind you - of a (minor) celebrity is really none of anyone else's business. And to try to publicly ridicule a date who has only been nice to you is uncivilised and quite abhorrent. There really should not be a lot of tolerance towards this kind of behaviour, and luckily, there isn't.

 

[Brighteye]

Yes, this man has spent a lot of time on his job. But most people have jobs, and don't necessarily spend their spare time on their jobs. She could quite easily have dated him for a long time and never got involved in Magic, seeing him outside of playing cards.
Given that his friends all play, it'd be tricky for her, but I'm sure that a lot of successful people only really know their work colleagues.
What's a few Magic jokes in conversation compared to accounting jokes or similar?

 

[Takhisis]

What's a few Magic jokes in conversation compared to accounting jokes or similar?

A whole lot cooler, that is.

 

[aelf]

I wouldn’t speak to the decency aspect, but her posting her experiences was a really smart move.

She’s a blogger. Her job is to write interesting little diary-like entries to entertain her audience and bring new eyeballs to her employer’s website. She did that in spades here.

You could reasonably say it was a gamble and I wouldn’t necessarily say it paid off for her the way she’d like, but the post did achieve her goals.

Like it or not, both principles involved here are public figures to some marginal degree. If you can’t take the heat of a little public criticism of your geeky game and how it affects the rest of your life then don’t be the world champion. Obviously the champ here can take the heat and bully for him.

Agree with this. This is either about people being shallow or about an internet journalist trying to get attention. And the guy concerned isn't really affected. It looks to be a non-issue.

 

[Birdjaguar]

If I were Jon Finkle:

I'd play this card:

 

[Holycannoli]

I may be one of the few who saw the humor in that blog, but it sill speaks the truth. That's how women are. MtG is seen as immature, and immature is a huge turn-off.

People want who they want, and she obviously wants someone interested in more mature pursuits. He'll find someone though; not every woman is like that. She might not find someone, not on the internet with the standards she's looking for. Let's face it, she's not exactly a looker, and that's pretty much what you find with online dating (or what I've found): People who are less attractive and/or are nerds.

I really don't know why people expect something else when attempting online dating.

Ummm... but you wouldn't want to date "women like this" anyway, right? So disclosing Star Trek would prevent go-nowhere dates?

I've learned (though it took a while to sink in) to disclose everything right off the bat. Maybe just the high points in something like an online dating profile (in my case it'd include elements like "BDSM", "Dom", "guns", and "geek") to deter the "women like this" and attract the ones who share those interests.

I've done the same thing. It's no good hiding it. I haven't attempted online matchmaking sites in a while now, but last time I did it actually worked, and I found someone with similar interests. Only problem was distance.

He really should have mentioned MtG in his profile, but on the flipside she should not be expecting bankers and "mature interests only" guys on a casual site like OkCupid.

I think I'm gonna try OkCupid, just to see what kind of women are on there.

 

[Mise]

If I were Jon Finkle:

I'd play this card:

"Tap 3 white creatures"

 

[Disgustipated]

What I don't understand is why she went out with him a second time.

Women who write stories about dating websites try to be funny, but they come across as shallow. I remember reading one article on CNN where a woman was writing about a man she met on a dating website was a 45 year old virgin. That came across as extremely shallow. What if he was just waiting for marriage? How is this funny or humorous in any way? Some women really do not know how to be funny. Making fun of nice guys or girls isn't funny.

I think I'm gonna try OkCupid, just to see what kind of women are on there.

I think a lot depends on the area you live in. I've been tempted to try one of the more "serious" sites out there (unfortunately they aren't free) to see if there are better women out there. OKCupid women are trashy. Women my age are has-beens who aren't wanted by any other decent guys. Occasionally you find a good girl, but then you see she's one of those nice girls that don't like sex. I look for the nice girls, but then I see how they answer questions. When they say sex is for after marriage, that's a red flag, when they say they don't like oral sex, that's another red flag, and when they say their sex drive is lower than average, that's strike 3 you're out. It's like I'm forced to choose between sluts or virgins. *sigh*

 

[downtown]

Ha, not surprised to see this story here.

I agree with a lot of other people here who seem to think that the big problem was that she trashed him in public. Everybody has standards and "deal breakers", even arbitrary ones. I don't think I'd want to date a MtG Grand Champ either, just because that game doesn't interest me at all, and I'd like some primary interests to be shared...just like I don't think a girl who finds sports, politics or music to be boring would want to date me.

I get that you gotta get pageviews, but this guy wasn't a dick or anything, he just has a nerdy hobby. Everybody who is interesting is nerdy about something!