Random Rants 76: Argh! Augh! Ahhh!

[Valka D'Ur]

She's being insensitive to the point of rudeness. I don't know how assisted living facilities are in Canada, but don't discard them (or the hospital) because of the nurse.

I told her that I'm happy where I am, it's sufficiently disabled-accessible for someone in my situation (no stairs, no elevator to worry about as I'm on the ground floor), the current manager and maintenance staff treat me very well (it helps that I don't make trouble and help out neighbors and staff when possible, and I point out things that go unnoticed by the able-bodied tenants but are hazards for those of us there in wheelchairs or who use walkers (thus possibly saving the company a lot of $$$$$$$ if someone gets injured and opts for legal action), and I absolutely do not want to go into assisted living. She said there are places for younger adults (ie. in my general age group), but that's no guarantee that it wouldn't be as institutionalized as facilities for seniors.

It took a lot for me to insist on making my own decisions years ago, and I'm not giving that up unless I truly can't look after myself anymore.

Just allow for her being overly (and insultingly ) helpful. One of the worse things to do while in hospital is to get into fights with the staff.

I just tell them outright when they make me frustrated (for whatever reason). It's an allowable emotion.

One other thing that angers me about that suggestion is that she's oblivious to the fact that people receiving the disability benefit I do just can't afford assisted living. Even just the rent is several hundred to a thousand over what I get each month.

And having to give up Maddy? No.

This is bad advice.

I haven't seen her since then. I don't know if she's on a different shift or if word got back to her that I was displeased with how she treated me (talking down, talking at, while simultaneously throwing terms at me that I haven't heard since my last biology class 40 years ago and then talking to me like I was 4.

Thanks for spotting it. I'd better clarify, since I was having trouble with the post (page clogged).

‘Allow’ in the sense of ‘not letting her get to you’. I was about to add the suggestion that you report her, because she is neglecting her duty.

She did nothing reportable. It's not against the rules to make unhelpful, thoughtless suggestions/opinions in a rude, pushy way.

It's like the situation I was in 11 years ago, when the social worker wanted to stick me in some little place with a couple of bags of belongings, no cats, and the clothes on my back. I told her NO. My body may not function too well anymore, but I'm still of sound (if grouchy) mind, so they have no basis to force me anywhere I don't want to go. Some people in the "caring professions" (the term used for medical and social work fields) are genuinely helpful but others just want to decide everything for the patient/client and steamroll right over that person's own wishes. How dare the patient/client voice any preferences or put their foot down when the worker gets too dictatorial or crosses the line in other ways (that social worker would drive past my house on a Saturday to see if one of her colleagues was visiting me; we'd found that we'd gone to the same school and wanted to spend some time just visiting to catch up on people we'd known 30 years previously - and when I found out that my visitors were being monitored, I just blew up at her and said that who I invited into my home was MY business, not hers, and that her colleague was keeping business and personal stuff separated to my satisfaction).

An odd thing happened with that social worker... several months later she asked if I'd come down to one of the outreach places and help out, teaching some of the clients how to use computers/email. I thought about it, and decided that if anyone else had asked, I'd have said yes. But since she had been so determined to dictate my life to me and demand that I give up my last remaining family living with me, I figured she could find someone else.

 

[Takhisis]

And having to give up Maddy? No.

You can't have pets in an assisted living facility? Eurgh. Since it's you, rule it out. I can't imagine a catless Valka.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

A rant: I was looking into things, and the maximum rent allowance I can get is $525 a month. I checked online ads, and there was only one apartment in-town (will never be able to drive) available for that, and they only want "mature tenants" with references. I also checked Halifax, and the situation is even worse there. On top of that, the personal allowance is only $200.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

You can't have pets in an assisted living facility? Eurgh. Since it's you, rule it out. I can't imagine a catless Valka.

Some places do, some don't. The ones that do, require an up-to-date vet check and certification that the pet isn't going to kill anyone else either by spreading something or whatever. And then there's the issue of ensuring that she would never escape the room (a problem since Maddy loves to see if she can sneak past me into the hallway; she's never understood why we don't have a yard anymore and why she's not allowed outside).

Since I have no intention of putting Maddy through the stress of an unnecessary vet visit, that means I can't even take her to visit my dad.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

while looking for more information on things

if thats what the public thinks of people on disability assitance

screw everything. I give up. I just give up.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

while looking for more information on things

if thats what the public thinks of people on disability assitance

screw everything. I give up. I just give up.

Tune them out. You're awesome. Some people are just hateful, plain and simple and it has nothing to do with the subjects of their hate.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Why do I go and read comments section? It's never a good idea.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

A rant: I was looking into things, and the maximum rent allowance I can get is $525 a month. I checked online ads, and there was only one apartment in-town (will never be able to drive) available for that, and they only want "mature tenants" with references. I also checked Halifax, and the situation is even worse there. On top of that, the personal allowance is only $200.

First thing is, you need a social worker to advocate for you. They know about various sources of funding and they can negotiate on your behalf with landlords. That's how I got reduced rent in a couple of places and extra time to pay the pet deposit (it's $250/cat here).

That's why I recommended Canadian Mental Health. The social worker I was ranting about before actually did some good things as well for me, like accompanying me to the application interview for the apartment I found (I told her I would not be shuffled off to some dump where they put the drug addicts, in a run-down part of the city that's high in crime).

while looking for more information on things

if thats what the public thinks of people on disability assitance

screw everything. I give up. I just give up.

Too many people equate disability assistance with welfare. There's a huge difference, and I get so damned irate when I hear or read of people spouting off about that.

Do not give up. You have rights, and sometimes you have to fight damned hard for them. I had to fight for TWO YEARS to get my new living situation on my terms. And now I don't let anyone dictate to me what their idea is of what I deserve. I decide what I deserve, and if I qualify for it, I insist that I get it (ie. accessing social programs, services, transportation, funding for some things that the ordinary benefit won't cover - ie. moving expenses - and I've become rather emphatic in election years, trying to make disabled people aware that they do have the right to vote by in-home special ballot if they can't physically get to the polling station).

 

[choxorn]

while looking for more information on things

if thats what the public thinks of people on disability assitance

screw everything. I give up. I just give up.

i'm sorry people are such big stupid jerkfaces

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

First thing is, you need a social worker to advocate for you. They know about various sources of funding and they can negotiate on your behalf with landlords. That's how I got reduced rent in a couple of places and extra time to pay the pet deposit (it's $250/cat here).

That's why I recommended Canadian Mental Health. The social worker I was ranting about before actually did some good things as well for me, like accompanying me to the application interview for the apartment I found (I told her I would not be shuffled off to some dump where they put the drug addicts, in a run-down part of the city that's high in crime).

Unfortunately, I think she might be onto things. She's keeping her phone practically glued to the hip. I'm waiting for an opportunity to sneak it away.

EDIT: Or maybe an online alternative. All the ones I can find cost money though.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Unfortunately, I think she might be onto things. She's keeping her phone practically glued to the hip. I'm waiting for an opportunity to sneak it away.

EDIT: Or maybe an online alternative. All the ones I can find cost money though.

Do you have any upcoming doctor's appointments? Assuming your mother doesn't insist on being in the same room when you have your appointments, you could tell your doctor or a nurse that you have an unsafe home situation and want to contact a social worker.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Unfortunately, my neurologist appointment is up in the air, and I haven't any family doctor.

 

[Arakhor]

How do you not have a family doctor, particularly if you have various conditions?

 

[Synobun]

How do you not have a family doctor, particularly if you have various conditions?

Too many people, too few GPs.

Edit: Also, having multiple conditions reduces your chances of finding a GP even if there were a surplus of available doctors.

 

[Takhisis]

Argh! Augh! Ahhh! indeed.

while looking for more information on things

if thats what the public thinks of people on disability assitance

screw everything. I give up. I just give up.

Oh no, please. Just as I told Mary in the Raves thread she's not ugly as some people have made her think herself to be, you are nowhere as stupid as some people and events make you think you are.

Don't let them talk you into despising yourself.

 

[Silurian]

In the UK if you register you will get a GP.

 

[Cutlass]

In the UK if you register you will get a GP.

Getting on a list for a GP and getting actual appointments can be very different things when there aren't enough of them and they only have so many hours in a day.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

There's a severe shortage of doctors in Nova Scotia. Emergency rooms get shut down a lot because of it, so if you're going to have a heart attack, you'd better make sure to do it at the right time. The government is just sort of sitting around twiddling its thumbs about it.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

How do you not have a family doctor, particularly if you have various conditions?

Family doctors are in short supply everywhere in Canada. My own has been my doctor for over 30 years, so I'm dreading when she retires. I had to find a doctor for my dad when I took over his medical decisions, and it was a tough call. I made it clear that he would no longer be going to the clinic our family had been using, due to various things happening (some doctors have this thing about female guardians or estate executors, so I will not subject myself to fighting with them even more than I already have). I found a good doctor at a walk-in clinic and explained the situation to him and asked if he would be my dad's regular doctor. He said yes, so that got taken care of.

Basically, the Canada Health Act that supposedly ensures equal access across the country is broken. And if I were to go out of province, I'd need health insurance because my coverage stops at the provincial border.

Don't let them talk you into despising yourself.

Some people here are completely vicious. I've been pushed out of the way at places like Superstore (grocery store where you have to do your own bagging), and I recently left a gaming forum after the umpteenth time that one of the posters who works at a Walmart in Ontario posted disparaging remarks about disabled people, seniors, and people on social assistance. After she mocked people who use walkers, I finally PM'd her and said, "You are mocking people like me, and it really makes me feel like crap, like I and people like me don't deserve to be out in the community and go shopping because we might momentarily inconvenience the store staff."

Instead of a return PM, she got in a huff and posted publicly that "Someone" has a problem with me talking about my job so I'm not going to post anymore" - and then the rest of the regulars jumped in to vilify whoever that "someone" was... so I finally just decided to hell with the lot of them, explained what bothered me, why, that I'd sent a PM in hopes of reaching some understanding, but since nobody seemed to care, I'd just leave.

One of them said, "Well, you should have told us you were one of these people" and I figured, no, why should I? It's just basic civility to not mock seniors, disabled people, etc. who are in their situation through no fault of their own.

As for talking about her job, she would complain endlessly about other things, too. I told her those didn't offend me. I don't care about fights over Christmas turkeys when they're on sale. But she took it as all-or-nothing, so there it is.

There's a severe shortage of doctors in Nova Scotia. Emergency rooms get shut down a lot because of it, so if you're going to have a heart attack, you'd better make sure to do it at the right time. The government is just sort of sitting around twiddling its thumbs about it.

Same here. Red Deer is the 3rd largest city in Alberta and heart/stroke patients end up being sent to Edmonton or Calgary because Red Deer - a city of over 100,000 people and that also serves a dozen towns and smaller cities around Central Alberta - apparently doesn't rate any sort of trauma centres so people brought there have a decent chance to survive.

It's a scary, frustrating thing. There was an announcement the other night that the hospital was full. They're putting patients into little curtained enclosures in the lounges when that happens.

Unfortunately, the current Minister of Health is utterly clueless on many things.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

FWIW, I think the walker is one of your best attributes.

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