Random Rants 80: Computer Says No

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So I'm in a bit of a bind

Situation: I've been working full-time close to two years now. In many ways I'm very lucky. It's a secure full-time job with a long career basically guaranteed ahead of me if I stick with it, close to home, great and supportive managers and coworkers. But the workload is high. It's pretty stressful at times. Pay's... fine. I can cover all the essentials but not afford much beyond that. And I'm unhappy. I don't find the work fulfilling at all. My health, mental and physical, is taking a beating. This isn't really want I want to do with my life and as much as I appreciate the last two years at this company I feel that it's time to move on.

I have an idea of what I want to do in the medium term: study GIS and surveying while working to improve my art - geography and drawing being two things that I've always been passionate about ever since I can remember, but from which I've been deterred because for whatever reason I wasn't really free to make my own choices. And now, having built some semblance of an independent life over the last couple of years and with my 30s approaching I feel like I need to make that leap now.

But transitioning between where I am and where I want to be, that's going to be tricky. I'm renting, and I've got debts to pay back. I'm afraid leaving this for a part-time or casual job that gives me the time to study, or work on my art, or look after my health, will only leave me with a worse job and even worse prospects for improvement. I'm also afraid of telling my family, who's depending on me to help pay debts. I've got a supportive partner which is awesome, but he's not in a position to pay the bills for the both of us.

I'm trying to treat this like a project with timelines and goals and looking at things objectively and it looks very possible and I can pull it off if I put in some effort, but there is still this raw visceral fear that's holding me back, that whatever choice I make I'm throwing my life away. Staying where I am is on the surface the safe option, but it's killing me. It's not sustainble. But I don't know if I can make it out there in the world. I'm risking a lot. But I don't want to feel trapped anymore.

So if anyone wants to offer advice, or admonition, or solace, please, I think I need all the help I can get right now.
Can you not study GIS and improve your art on the side for a while? Does the life change have to come as a clean break or can you transition gradually? I think quitting your job to go study while you're in a precarious financial situation would be a bad move.
 
So I'm in a bit of a bind

Situation: I've been working full-time close to two years now. In many ways I'm very lucky. It's a secure full-time job with a long career basically guaranteed ahead of me if I stick with it, close to home, great and supportive managers and coworkers. But the workload is high. It's pretty stressful at times. Pay's... fine. I can cover all the essentials but not afford much beyond that. And I'm unhappy. I don't find the work fulfilling at all. My health, mental and physical, is taking a beating. This isn't really want I want to do with my life and as much as I appreciate the last two years at this company I feel that it's time to move on.

I have an idea of what I want to do in the medium term: study GIS and surveying while working to improve my art - geography and drawing being two things that I've always been passionate about ever since I can remember, but from which I've been deterred because for whatever reason I wasn't really free to make my own choices. And now, having built some semblance of an independent life over the last couple of years and with my 30s approaching I feel like I need to make that leap now.

But transitioning between where I am and where I want to be, that's going to be tricky. I'm renting, and I've got debts to pay back. I'm afraid leaving this for a part-time or casual job that gives me the time to study, or work on my art, or look after my health, will only leave me with a worse job and even worse prospects for improvement. I'm also afraid of telling my family, who's depending on me to help pay debts. I've got a supportive partner which is awesome, but he's not in a position to pay the bills for the both of us.

I'm trying to treat this like a project with timelines and goals and looking at things objectively and it looks very possible and I can pull it off if I put in some effort, but there is still this raw visceral fear that's holding me back, that whatever choice I make I'm throwing my life away. Staying where I am is on the surface the safe option, but it's killing me. It's not sustainble. But I don't know if I can make it out there in the world. I'm risking a lot. But I don't want to feel trapped anymore.

So if anyone wants to offer advice, or admonition, or solace, please, I think I need all the help I can get right now.
I am in a similar quandary: settle down for a potentially awful job or ‘follow my dreams’. I can only say that I empathise with you and don't have any definite advice.
 
I am in a similar quandary: settle down for a potentially awful job or ‘follow my dreams’. I can only say that I empathise with you and don't have any definite advice.

El Presidente thanks you for wanting to have two jobs taxed and has instituted a third tax to help process the first two taxes.
 
*unfriends Synsensa from various social networks*
 
Please don't start slapping each other with chickens.
 
And thus spake ye knight: Thou lackest IRC culture, Lady Erika.
 
And thus spake ye knight: Thou lackest IRC culture, Lady Erika.

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My take: Throwing your life away according to whose perspective? What constitutes as throwing your life away here

Well. If I stick with this job ten years down the line I might be in a reasonably comfortable position financially, provided of course my health otherwise stays intact. If I take a risk, I could either be really happy not ten years but even just a year or two from now, or I might be stuck in an even worse position that

Oh who am I kidding. I'm worried about family mostly. That if I take this gamble and I don't succeed, they're never going to stop hounding about how I should have stuck with the job I had and I've betrayed them and their hopes and trust in me etc etc.

So here's another question: If you stick it out at this job another year from today, what can you get from it? Let's say you're on top of your manager whenever it's appropriate for reviews and raises and discussions about your responsibilities. Is it realistic to expect that you could get a raise? Reduced hours at the same pay? A promotion that has a better schedule? If so, based on your realistic expectations, do these changes make it more or less likely that you can start switching gears in your life without putting everything else at risk? Would there be consequences to sticking with it another year that overrules the potential benefits, even with the long term in mind?

From everything I know any raise within the next 12 months would likely be small and, I think, not worth sticking with the job for another year.

I've raised reduced hours with my managers. They're not happy with the idea and my workload is such that I really do need to work those hours.

A better schedule might be possible if the company hires an extra person to take part of my load which based on what I know is also unrealistic in the next 12 months.

The way I see it, I stick with it for another five or ten years - basically, make this my career - or switch gears now. Sticking with it for just one more year before changing gears, well, I won't be really be in a better financial position and my health would have deteriorated further for no reason.

Are you earning more than you are spending, and therefore reducing the debts?

I am, slowly.

If so, you should be able to identify the point in time when you may be out of debt.

If I'm being honest, I'm scared to actually look closely at my accounts.

Either you crack up physically/mentally, or your employer replaces you with someone fresher.

Well being replaced is not something I'm afraid of. If the company can find someone who does what I do better, I'd tell them please go ahead - I would feel significantly less guilty about leaving knowing that my colleagues are in safe hands.

I'd have a careful look at those debts and outgoings. Are you enabling freeloading family members to keep freeloading ?

Don't have a freeloading family member so thank goodness for that too.

OR could you reduce the overheads by moving somewhere cheaper or spread the burden by perhaps taking in a lodger?

Where I am is already pretty cheap considering my location.

The problem with renting is that too many people end up working, for the benefit of their landlord.[/QUOTE]

It sounds like a change you gotta make. Now waiting it out another year like Synsensa suggests seems sensible, if you can take it.

I have thought about maybe waiting another six months. But that's what I said six months ago. And six months before that.
 
Family first. Many have made that sacrifice. The future might offer different possibilities.
 
I don't see how sticking it out for a while longer while you begin taking classes or something else on the side equates to giving up and being sucked into a 10-year career at the place.
 
I have a few job leads that may turn into offers but they're taking their time to come to conclusion. Meanwhile, I'm under the gun to move and have to be out of here in a month and a half. If I'm moving out of town/out of state, I have to line up movers right now. There's a possibility with one job that I could even stay in the building I'm at on a different floor but I still have to make that decision known and sign a new lease ASAP. All I can do right now is pack and throw stuff out but it's really flipping stressing me out that I don't have solid plans.
 
I have a few job leads that may turn into offers but they're taking their time to come to conclusion. Meanwhile, I'm under the gun to move and have to be out of here in a month and a half. If I'm moving out of town/out of state, I have to line up movers right now. There's a possibility with one job that I could even stay in the building I'm at on a different floor but I still have to make that decision known and sign a new lease ASAP. All I can do right now is pack and throw stuff out but it's really flipping stressing me out that I don't have solid plans.

I am really sorry to hear about this crap man. Secretly happy to hear the capitalist swine are doing their best to add a rocket scientist to the ranks of [ominous music] COMMUNISTS AMONG US but seriously this is horsehockey and I hope you can at least get out of the perpetual ambiguity soon.
 
Well. If I stick with this job ten years down the line I might be in a reasonably comfortable position financially, provided of course my health otherwise stays intact. If I take a risk, I could either be really happy not ten years but even just a year or two from now, or I might be stuck in an even worse position that

Oh who am I kidding. I'm worried about family mostly. That if I take this gamble and I don't succeed, they're never going to stop hounding about how I should have stuck with the job I had and I've betrayed them and their hopes and trust in me etc etc.

From everything I know any raise within the next 12 months would likely be small and, I think, not worth sticking with the job for another year.

I've raised reduced hours with my managers. They're not happy with the idea and my workload is such that I really do need to work those hours.

A better schedule might be possible if the company hires an extra person to take part of my load which based on what I know is also unrealistic in the next 12 months.

The way I see it, I stick with it for another five or ten years - basically, make this my career - or switch gears now. Sticking with it for just one more year before changing gears, well, I won't be really be in a better financial position and my health would have deteriorated further for no reason.

I will reserve in-depth advice regarding family as I know I'm biased, but I will say that your family should support you, and hounding you for making a decision that keeps you looking forward to the next day is the opposite of that. A person doesn't truly care about you if their idea of caring has the expectation that you drive yourself into the ground out of obligation or their idea of what's right.

But, with that job info in mind, you're in a tricky place. If the job won't get any better, then you're right that you need to switch sooner rather than later. Finding a way to do that is so dependent on luck. You can do everything right but if there's no opportunity then there's no opportunity. "Create your own luck" and all, but stats are stats.

You mentioned a six-month period for switching over, for waiting. But what if you didn't wait? What if you actively started looking for more accommodating work now, with the expectation that six months from now you'll have found replacement work that can still support you but also gives you the time you need to pursue what's more important to you? Doing your work + interviews is easier to juggle than doing your work + studying + practicing, especially when the latter has already been ruled out.

It's only an idea, of course. But if you're nervous about making a sudden break, and you don't want to see where you're at in a year from now because you have no realistic expectation that it'll be any different, then a middle ground may be a good approach.
 
More first world rants -
I mentioned before that my apartment removed a bunch of EV chargers to install stupid short term rental cars. Today is the one time I actually need to use the cars to go buy boxes for packing and lo and behold, the stupid app crashes as soon as I launch it.

The air conditioner in my Bolt also stinks of mildew. My Spark had the same issue and I guess they have a common design that includes an s-curve or low point that doesn't drain properly and allows condensation to build up and get moldy. I've only had the car for less than two months and we regularly run the fan without the A/C on to dry out the system and it still developed the problem. :mad:
 
Small rant: My internet is acting up. Some websites are only partly loading (CSS and images get messed up) and others don't load at all. But email and stuff is working fine. I guess it's something to do with the repairs. I'll be surprised if this actually posts.
 
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