Random Rants: --... ---.. Don't expect others to convert it for you.

[jarred!]

It's an especially crappy spot to be in when you've done something wrong, admitted to it and apologized for it but to still have people mad at you over something else you didn't do.

We played Catan after work last week and I was such an asshat that as soon as I started walking home I felt terrible about it and later apologized. I'm not a patient person and especially so when it's a work night and I want to go home and I have learned this about myself and will no longer play Catan after work. I spent the night *****ing about how long the turns were taking and making everyone miserable. In my defense, 15 minute turn times are unacceptable but at the same time, that's Catan and if I can't deal with that, I shouldn't play it.

So that happened and I apologized for it.

But my friend is mad because he blames me that this girl he likes and her friends declined to play with us. This is despite the fact that as we were organizing the game in a chat hours beforehand, the girl and her friends had all stated they weren't going to play Catan. No pun intended, but it was never in the cards for her to play with us - she was quite direct in saying she wouldn't play it and would instead play other games, which she did. But because I was an ass all night, my friend blames me for her not playing Catan and seems to have forgotten the entire long chat where she said she wasn't going to play Catan hours before we showed up.

Also, I took the initiative to set up the game on a table but one of the other players (not my friend with the crush) threw a fit over my choice in the table and picked a fight over it. I had already set up the board when he complained and I did argue that I didn't want to move it but in the end, I did end up moving the board to appease that guy. But my friend blames me for that fight as well and said that I scared the girl off by being a curmudgeon.

I don't know what to say. Yes, I was an ass and he is right to be mad over it. At the same time, I'm not the reason he didn't get to chat up his crush. But arguing that point too forcefully is only going to make him dislike me more, so I am stuck with the blame for his failure to pick up social queues. But I do deserve ridicule for being a jerk, so I guess it's all just karma.

I apologized to him for being a douchenozzle and that's when he dropped the bomb that he blamed me for the girl not playing which really took me aback. I pointed out she had said she wasn't going to play but he ignored that and I can tell he's still mad at me so I have to let it go. And of course I get no credit for being self-aware of my own douchenozzleness and for owning up to it and apologizing but I was an ass so yeah it's karma.

Related rant:
I feel too thin-skinned for life these past couple of weeks. Several of my friends have hurt my feelings and I just need to deal with it like an adult and not be devastated about it.

And my therapist keeps trying to convince me to make friends?

...Unless you set up Settlers at the plastic tea-party table. Then that's on you, man.

 

[choxorn]

In my defense, 15 minute turn times are unacceptable but at the same time, that's Catan and if I can't deal with that, I shouldn't play it.

You mean 15 minutes for like, a full round, right? I don't see how a single player's turn could possibly take anywhere near that long in Catan.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

You mean 15 minutes for like, a full round, right? I don't see how a single player's turn could possibly take anywhere near that long in Catan.

It can and does with the people I play with. 15 is extreme but 5+ minutes for each person per turn is common. They can't talk and play simultaneously and insist on waisting time on extravagant trade proposals that go nowhere. That's the big problem; they won't take no for an answer and will shop around a crappy deal forever, then tweak it insubstantially and try again.

But that's the way they like to play and if I don't like it, I should stop playing and being a drag. Which is what I'm doing.

 

[Hygro]

In my defense, 15 minute turn times are unacceptable but at the same time, that's Catan and if I can't deal with that, I shouldn't play it.

That's not Catan. If you're new, maybe a 3-4 minute turn on occasion is okay. If people aren't really playing and the game is a backdrop that's one thing. But a single Settlers game should be over in under an hour.

But my friend is mad because he blames me that this girl he likes and her friends declined to play with us. This is despite the fact that as we were organizing the game in a chat hours beforehand, the girl and her friends had all stated they weren't going to play Catan. No pun intended, but it was never in the cards for her to play with us - she was quite direct in saying she wouldn't play it and would instead play other games, which she did. But because I was an ass all night, my friend blames me for her not playing Catan and seems to have forgotten the entire long chat where she said she wasn't going to play Catan hours before we showed up.

Your friend blames you for the girl not being into him. And his incorrect pieces why are a clue that he won't face the mirror and realize it's going nowhere.


Obviously the point of these gatherings is to have a good time so why get mad when you're trying to make friends. On the other hand whoever can't take a turn and whoever needs it to be the game where people can't take their turns for his romance to blossom are being terrible.

 

[Lexicus]

Your friend blames you for the girl not being into him. And his incorrect pieces why are a clue that he won't face the mirror and realize it's going nowhere.

cosigned by me

 

[Hygro]

cosigned by me

Second time I've heard this term for this in one day. What wave is this?

It's an especially crappy spot to be in when you've done something wrong, admitted to it and apologized for it but to still have people mad at you over something else you didn't do.

People, especially those who imagine a sequence of events to get a girl that requires Settlers of Catan, are like sharks to blood when they receive apologies. They feel justified now that your words of being the problem ring loud and real in their ears.

I had a really good night the other night, got some girls touching me telling me how great I was (literally for sitting calmly). It's been a while since I got this quality of free attention by the girls I wanted at the empty bar. FELT REALLY GOOD. Anyway my friend and I invited them back to our spot for a little after party. I told them to bring a bottle if they had one. I laughed at my own suggestion because I knew they could get offended, but had I not they probably wouldn't have. Anyway, top girl starts throwing a fit, how something something women men being treated works hard blah blah. Had I apologized the night would have been over right then and there. Her friend was like "I think he's just joking". Not quite: playing, but serious. Instead I stood tall, took her hand and was like "ma'am, I didn't mean to offend your femininity, but also, if you do have a bottle, bring it".

They didn't but they came over to smoke out of our soap bottle turned mini-bong and danced for us.

My roommate partook and since he still had a cold now I am quite sick. There's my rant argh.

They can't talk and play simultaneously and insist on waisting time on extravagant trade proposals that go nowhere

In 11 years I've lost 6, maybe 7 games of Settlers. I never do this and neither do the other winners. Please tell me you won despite being the curmudgeon. But also, some people do like to drag games out because they don't like losing and it ain't over until it is

 

[Lexicus]

Second time I've heard this term for this in one day. What wave is this?

got it from this tweet subconsciously

 

[Takhisis]

They can't talk and play simultaneously and insist on waisting time on extravagant trade proposals that go nowhere. That's the big problem; they won't take no for an answer and will shop around a crappy deal forever, then tweak it insubstantially and try again.

It just sounds as though they were trying to replicate the RL experience of Brexit governing.

 

[Kaitzilla]

I tried watching Fox News tonight for the first time since big papa O'Reilly got fired for sexual harassment, and 5 minutes in I could feel myself getting dumber!

Ya, it really is impossible to watch the entire 4 minutes.
Metric system is tyranny!

 

[Valka D'Ur]

He can pronounce "kilometre" but not "kilogram"?

Are they really that stupid, or was this just a performance?

 

[Ironsided]

It does kind of give off a bad Monty Python sketch vibe. You wait for the guy in the bow tie to lose the plot and start laughing. I love how it’s filmed with a phone camcorder style and you can hear the creator pop a brewski at 3:51 just after “I do see the problem and I’ve never heard it put as eloquently as you did…” – Like, I can’t take it anymore! Bless.

 

[choxorn]

It can and does with the people I play with. 15 is extreme but 5+ minutes for each person per turn is common. They can't talk and play simultaneously and insist on waisting time on extravagant trade proposals that go nowhere. That's the big problem; they won't take no for an answer and will shop around a crappy deal forever, then tweak it insubstantially and try again.

But that's the way they like to play and if I don't like it, I should stop playing and being a drag. Which is what I'm doing.

That's not playing Catan, that's just an elaborate simulation of bad foreign policy.

5+ Minutes? The hell? You roll the dice, you collect resources, you build some stuff if you have the right resources, and maybe then spend a bit of time trading or asking about trading, but you don't spend 5 minutes filiblustering around trying to get something to happen that's clearly not happening! A single turn shouldn't ever take longer than 2 minutes at the most if you have any idea what you're doing.

 

[EgonSpengler]

Are they really that stupid, or was this just a performance?

I wonder that all the time.

 

[Arakhor]

That would explain the inexplicably strong views I encountered from some quarters when suggesting at the Paizo forum that their new RPG edition should include a Celsius translation for temperatures in Fahrenheit. You'd think that Fahrenheit was God's chosen scale based on that discussion.

 

[jarred!]

In fairness, the people who don't use metric are also the people who think America Is God's Country.

 

[Arakhor]

There's approximately 1 billion people worldwide who speak English and less than half of those use Fahrenheit, so even the excuse "we're writing in English so we're going to use Fahrenheit" doesn't really hold water.

 

[jarred!]

Just making a joke. The EPA requires data to be reported in metric, so any American worth talking to understands the metric system.

 

[tjs282]

but you don't spend 5 minutes filiblustering around trying to get something to happen that's clearly not happening!

Unfortunately, my younger son (aged 'nearly-10') still hasn't quite grasped this yet. Means that on the rare occasions when we're all willing to play, Catan (and other trading-type) games in our house frequently run to 2 hours-plus.

(And then when/ if I eventually get frustrated and try to hurry things along, I get accused — often fairly, it must be admitted — of curmudgeonliness/ poor sportsmanship myself...)

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Thanks everyone. I've been on the bipolar roller coaster this week and yesterday was a low point. I really appreciate the kind responses here, it makes me feel a lot better. I do want to be upfront and not shy away from the fact that I was in fact an ass and deserved to have my friends mad at me. The entire game I whined about how long everyone was taking and ruined it for everyone. I agree with everyone here that this group plays Catan in a crappy way but it is the way they play, they have always played like this and me being a sourpuss and whining all night did not change or help anything.

They have tried to use a timer in the past to keep the game moving but I can't take an alarm going off more or less continually for 2 hours so I don't ask them to use it anymore. It doesn't help anyways, the alarm goes off and they keep wasting time.

I'm also glad to hear that Catan doesn't normally play like this. I've only played a few games outside of this group's outings and they were much faster and more fun but I don't have a good feel for what's normal. I'm not going to play with them anymore because it's not worth the frustration.

Plus the guy who thinks I cock-blocked him told my other friend that I cock-blocked him and that friend refused to even talk to me about the game because he was mad at me on behalf of my friend and I'm pretty upset about that.

I tried to set the cock-block guy straight but I don't think he listened. I haven't talked to the other guy about it.

Your friend blames you for the girl not being into him. And his incorrect pieces why are a clue that he won't face the mirror and realize it's going nowhere.

The crazy thing is that she told him she had a boyfriend weeks ago. And truly, I was not the reason she didn't play with us. He saw the chat log, he heard what she said when she showed up. It was never going to happen, she's not into Catan. Also - I did not cajole him into playing Catan, he had every opportunity to play the games she brought instead.

People, especially those who imagine a sequence of events to get a girl that requires Settlers of Catan, are like sharks to blood when they receive apologies. They feel justified now that your words of being the problem ring loud and real in their ears.

Thanks for giving me this perspective.

In 11 years I've lost 6, maybe 7 games of Settlers. I never do this and neither do the other winners. Please tell me you won despite being the curmudgeon. But also, some people do like to drag games out because they don't like losing and it ain't over until it is

This group is horrible about dragging the game on and I've complained about that here before. I've actually accepted that about the group, I get it, no one likes to lose and one guy in particular is hyper-competitive and will do everything to keep someone from winning. It's frustrating after 2-3 hours of play to have the winning move de-railed yet again but hey, that's the game and I'm not going to complain about it anymore. The time spent on wasted trade deals is another thing altogether though.

Anyways, I did win! First time with this group too. Two guys were locked in an arms race buying up the special cards to get the biggest army. I noticed they were grabbing only knights out of the special card deck so I started buying on the hunch that what was left of the special deck was loaded with victory points. I got all 5 victory points in the special deck, built a city and it was over. They kept teasing me about how I wasn't using my knights and I kept telling them it was a stack of victory points and they didn't believe me until it was too late. There was a funny moment toward the end where they teased me about the knights yet again and I just flipped over all the victory points and everyone lost their ****.

That's not playing Catan, that's just an elaborate simulation of bad foreign policy.

5+ Minutes? The hell? You roll the dice, you collect resources, you build some stuff if you have the right resources, and maybe then spend a bit of time trading or asking about trading, but you don't spend 5 minutes filiblustering around trying to get something to happen that's clearly not happening! A single turn shouldn't ever take longer than 2 minutes at the most if you have any idea what you're doing.

Ok cool I'm glad that this isn't normal. It's extraordinarily frustrating when they do this, it's like a ritual for them and it never flipping ends.



------------------


The ironic thing about this whole situation is that I showed up that night ready and willing to play wingman for my friend but ended up getting blamed for being a cock-block unfairly. Oh well that's life.

 

[Synobun]

How old are your friends? In both scenarios they are acting like children. Have you tried grounding them?