Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Abaddon]

I go on my Honeymoon.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I bang my head on something until I get a good idea.

 

[CivCube]

I look for a book about ingenious escapes.

 

[Verarde]

"Mayor Callahan, do they have a weakness to Oxi-Clean?"

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Me and my followers take down the SWAT team with them distracted.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I obtain a Plane and fly to Switzerland!

9: What with the economy in its current shape, purchasing a plane is no small feat.

I go someplace else in the Library to study Ninjitsu.

7: There are a lot of rebels.

I distract them, giving English Crusader a chance to KILL THEM ALL.

8 (10): Your body makes excellent target practice. -11 hitpoints.

Safari tours victimise our rhino brothers! Ban them and have there leaders killed!

6 (8): But how will the tourist industry supplement the lost income?

I order my troops to beat the army.

6: They, uh, break out the bats. The army sticks to its guns.
ROLL TO DODGE!
12: You crawl over to a rock.

My academic nature (scholarly pursuits) draws me to a nearby book which I enjoy so much that I read it from cover to cover.

10 (12): Mmm, Chomsky on politics.

I lead a Democratic Revolution!

14 (13): It turns out a lot less bloody than you'd anticipated! You get your confidence back.

I go on my Honeymoon.

20: You dish out $12,000 on a European tour that earns you 2 points of prestige from your assorted patrons. Sheikh Mohammed is so impressed with your effect that he offers you a position as part of the UAE delegation to the UN in Geneva, with a salary of $28/turn.

I bang my head on something until I get a good idea.

9: After losing three hitpoints, you are inspired to stop hitting your head.

I look for a book about ingenious escapes.

2: How to Lose Friends and Alienate People? Nah... Failed Breakouts at Alcatraz? Nuh-uh. How to Get Cornered by Police while Reading This Cover? Waitaminute-

"Mayor Callahan, do they have a weakness to Oxi-Clean?"

11: "Well anybody who ingests it will probably fall down a few pegs."

Me and my followers take down the SWAT team with them distracted.

9: You, er, seem to have left them behind.

 

[Red_Spy]

I head to the airport to buy a seat on a plan heading for Switzerland.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Intrigued by this subject of politics, my academic nature causes me to thirst for more and I read everything that I can on the subject.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I lead an infamous communist revolution in Ho Chi Minh

 

[landlubber]

I shout "fire at will!"

 

[Abaddon]

Both my Prestige and Infamy work wonders (not forgetting my Gentleman's Cloak!) in advancing my position (and salary) within the UN

 

[EnglishCrusader]

We realise it is too late, and get out of there, planning to free Terrance.

 

[Verarde]

"Mayor, what are these creatures favorite food?"

 

[Terrance888]

I utilize the shock they must have of that I am still standing, and rush their lines, protected by my shell.

 

[CivCube]

In desperation, I huff the gamma-radiated weed.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I look for secret passages in the library.

 

[Skwink]

I become leader of Vietnam.

 

[GenMarshall]

I talk to the rebels to teach me how to operate a gun.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I head to the airport to buy a seat on a plan heading for Switzerland.

9: Plans are paper-thin. You probably wouldn't be able to ride 'em.

Intrigued by this subject of politics, my academic nature causes me to thirst for more and I read everything that I can on the subject.

16 (18): You become well-rounded in the art of statesmanship, gaining a +2 bonus to such rolls.

I lead an infamous communist revolution in Ho Chi Minh

4 (8): You're nowhere near there.

I shout "fire at will!"

5: They, uh, turn about and gun down Will.

Both my Prestige and Infamy work wonders (not forgetting my Gentleman's Cloak!) in advancing my position (and salary) within the UN

16 (19): You work your way up to chief of the delegation with a pay raise of $4/turn.

We realise it is too late, and get out of there, planning to free Terrance.

15: Abort! Abort!

"Mayor, what are these creatures favorite food?"

16: "Squidward's hopes and dreams... and Fancy Feast."

I utilize the shock they must have of that I am still standing, and rush their lines, protected by my shell.

17: Screaming "AAAAAUUUUGH!!!!", you barrel through the line.

In desperation, I huff the gamma-radiated weed.

16: You become nuclear-powered, regenerating at a rate of 5 hitpoints per turn, although suffer a -1 penalty to all rolls from such a heavy dose.

I look for secret passages in the library.

13: You exit through the emergency escape.

I become leader of Vietnam.

11: You found an offshoot of the Cascadia Party.

I talk to the rebels to teach me how to operate a gun.

20: "You point it at the enemy and pull the trigger. Okay, you're on your own." Oh yeah, and you get a Kalashnikov.

hendo suffers 20 damage for inactivity.

 

[Verarde]

"Give me as much fancy feast as you can find!"

OOC: doesn't matter, but I should have been getting +3 on all these rolls, because they are social interaction rolls. I should get +3 for this action, then.