Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[landlubber]

I ask one final time for my troops to bring on the hurt.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Using persuasive, logical (academia-based) arguments, my knowledge of medicine, and my statesmanship knowledge, I sufficiently convince the rebels that I would be the perfect candidate to bring about healthcare reform as the President of Mexico in the upcoming free and fair election, such that they put together a campaign for me.

 

[Red_Spy]

I walk back to Russia, in order to become a diplomat.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I expand across India to get close to there!

 

[CivCube]

I climb the bookcases and escape through the skylight.

 

[Abaddon]

My Prestige along with some cash gets me into the best private hospital, where I am healed and even augmented.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I bring Boundless back to life.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I go to Radioshack.

 

[Terrance888]

I hide from the police while I see if my alien body has any offensive capabilities.

 

[Skwink]

We get elected into office.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

"Give me as much fancy feast as you can find!"

OOC: doesn't matter, but I should have been getting +3 on all these rolls, because they are social interaction rolls. I should get +3 for this action, then.

(Ah, but this is strictly business!)

4: "We're fresh out. Sad face."

I ask one final time for my troops to bring on the hurt.

3: They go over the top... the result ain't pretty.

Using persuasive, logical (academia-based) arguments, my knowledge of medicine, and my statesmanship knowledge, I sufficiently convince the rebels that I would be the perfect candidate to bring about healthcare reform as the President of Mexico in the upcoming free and fair election, such that they put together a campaign for me.

20 (20): And so they do... disregarding the fact that Skwink's pullout of Mexico and the subsequent evacuation of North means the country is once again the battleground of the cartels.

I walk back to Russia, in order to become a diplomat.

16: You retire from the rebel cause, gaining a post as ambassador to Finland with a salary of $12/turn.

I expand across India to get close to there!

4 (5): Iran declares war on you and leads a swift attack on Dubai.

I climb the bookcases and escape through the skylight.

7 (6): No skylight!

My Prestige along with some cash gets me into the best private hospital, where I am healed and even augmented.

7 (10): Despite a 'tip' of $80, only the general hospital has vacancies. You will recover 5 hitpoints per turn as long as you remain in care.

I bring Boundless back to life.

2: AUGH YOU BLEW HER UP!!

I go to Radioshack.

12: Hey, they have one here!

I hide from the police while I see if my alien body has any offensive capabilities.

7: Doesn't seem to. Oh, and they had a fall-back line.
ROLL TO DODGE!
7 (9): You're hailed with rubber bullets for 10 damage.

We get elected into office.

8: Your minority party gains representation in the legislature.

 

[Verarde]

"Where is the nearest location of Fancy Feast?"

 

[Skwink]

I become Minority Leader.

 

[Red_Spy]

I tell the Finns we are sorry for the Winter War

 

[Terrance888]

They made me angrey, which is bad for them because it unlocks my MASSIVE SPIKED TENTACLES OF DEATH, which I will use to penetrate them.

 

[GenMarshall]

I head to the library's firing range And learn to defend myself against enemy fire.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Using my statesmanship, logical (academia-like) arguments, my knowledge of medicine, and my engineering abilities (to get the acoustics just right), I create a video to add to my campaign of me giving such a powerful and compelling speech about how I will revolutionise the pharmaceutical business with my health care reforms such that not only will the people benefit, the cartels will also benefit by being able to go legitimate and still make a killing by altering the nature of their supplies to medically-needed drugs, that anyone who hears said speech will believe that I should be their leader.

 

[Abaddon]

The Sheik of Dubai flies in much better doctors for me.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I take over Iran using SCIENCE!

 

[Darth Caesar]

I ask the employee's if they have anything that can contact mars.