Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Terrance888]

I torture Red Spy to find the location of the Chainsaw Knife

 

[mythmonster2]

Power Fist. CG's face.

 

[Abaddon]

Why did Seon get an action and not me?


> Poison gas enters the air/con system of the ship...

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I get the doctor to heal my bleeding.

10 (8): You took two bullets to the brain. He's doing the best he can.

I sue the demons.

15: What better place to look for attorneys than Hell?

I guard Red_Spy.

19: You pull mad Kung Fu on Terrance888 for 27 damage, inflicting internal bleeding worth 11 damage per turn.

I torture Red Spy to find the location of the Chainsaw Knife

7: Skwink Caesar beats your ass.

Power Fist. CG's face.

18 (20): You deliver a Captain Falcon-approved sandwich for 20 damage, sending him flying across the room and smashing into a bulkhead for another 20 damage, a broken nose, a broken jaw, blood loss of -10 hp/turn, and bumping his concussion back up to severe.

> Poison gas enters the air/con system of the ship...

5: The filtration system proves superior.

 

[Skwink]

My Uncle dies in the medical bay with his life savings in his wallet, which I inherit.

 

[Red_Spy]

I walk around the room.

 

[mythmonster2]

Saw through his bones.

 

[Double A]

I don't care, that won't stop me from making one.

 

[Abaddon]

The filters become overwealmed- everyone on the ship is doomed!

 

[Terrance888]

I stab my infinity sword through Swick's thigh and into Redspy's throat.

 

[landlubber]

I ask her to find a trained paramedic.

 

[CivCube]

If it's not too late to join, I erect an ATM that prints Topps baseball cards.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I ask God nicely.

 

[Seon]

Annhiliate Abaddon's ghost.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

My Uncle dies in the medical bay with his life savings in his wallet, which I inherit.

5: He did indeed die, but considering the medical bay is no longer a part of the ship claiming the inheritance will prove difficult.

I walk around the room.

19 (17): "MEIN FÜHRER!! I CAN WALK!!"
...Although moving out of surgery was probably a bad idea (healing cancelled).

Saw through his bones.

17 (18): You drink up his pain (20 damage) as you break his legs.

I don't care, that won't stop me from making one.

15 (18): Through sheer force of will, you cook a space cheeseburger.

The filters become overwealmed- everyone on the ship is doomed!

1: The filters are overwhelmed with your essence!

I stab my infinity sword through Swick's thigh and into Redspy's throat.

6 (10): Skwink flinches and Red_Spy has moved.

I ask her to find a trained paramedic.

17 (18): Ambulances arrive at the airport and you are treated for bleeding. Each turn you remain in care will restore 45 hitpoints.

If it's not too late to join, I erect an ATM that prints Topps baseball cards.

3: As you search for tools, miscellany on the upper shelves, loosed by Double A's missiles, falls on top of you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
15: You jump back in time to avoid injury.

I ask God nicely.

15: He will join. Conservapedia was getting boring anyway.

Annhiliate Abaddon's ghost.

20: UTTERLY.

!!!!!, CivGeneral, Spleyminy, and Tlc2011 suffer 15 damage for inactivity.

 

[Abaddon]

My body is sucked into the ships engine causing something, you know, something catastrophic, with lots of death implied for everyone

 

[mythmonster2]

Break his arms, just 'cause of how much other stuff he already has broken.

 

[Red_Spy]

I go back to surgery.

 

[Terrance888]

I draw my infinity blade from between Swink's legs through the nuts up to his head, and then twist.

 

[Skwink]

I murder terrance with a butter knife.