Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[hoplitejoe]

Rhinos! Attaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

 

[Skwink]

I use my mind to call Sam North to assist me!

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

You missed mine!

"Damn it.
"Have another action this turn."

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Okay. I also bring back Boundless to serve me.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Hmm... I bring back Darth Caesar to serve me.

20: You revive him with the combined benefits of this and last round. He's independent enough to play by himself but suffers a -10 penalty if he goes after you!

I call the rebel leader and tell him free elections are in place.

8: "I'm sorry, you want to speak with hendo now."

...I seek out a medicine man in the group I encounter to heal me.

10: They're too busy pulling that ship.

I draft a constitution specifically labeling my holdings as a sovereign state.

8: The General Assembly doesn't recognize the secession, particularly the home country.

I endure a longer search, really leaning my infamy on a few select people...get me that cloak!

Divine Intervention: 18
ROLL TO DODGE!
3 (4): A monitor to the face delivers 13 damage, reducing your infamy and endurance by a point each. Looks like you're going a bit too meta.

I continue growing my massive advertising empire.

4: Drat! Recession! Your income is halved.

The Alien Medallion spills a liquid on me, transforming me into a perfectly healthy alien!

18: You are cured of all ailments, and gain a passive regenerative ability of +3 hp/turn.

The Master, being evil and all, gives Samuel North a good hard pinch.

1: North replies by emptying his magazine into the Master's chest, inflicting 31 damage and incurring a loss of 5 hp/turn.

I begin my search for Darth Caesar's remains...under the pretense of anthropology.

15: You find them in pristine condition; why, you might even say he's alive!

Rhinos! Attaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

15 (18): The city falls to your armoured horde. Your Science production increases by 100%.

I use my mind to call Sam North to assist me!

10 (9): Damnation. There's too much interference.

I also bring back Boundless to serve me.

10: Nooooope! It's just Chuck Testa.

 

[landlubber]

I consult a map to find exactly where in the world I am.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

The Master, known for his cunning and guile, steps aside to show Samuel North his fellow rebels and convinces Samuel North that they are all on the same team as each other and that this group, led by none other than the Master, came as Sam's rescue party.

 

[Red_Spy]

I thank my Russian allies and head off in search of adventure.

 

[Verarde]

Curses. I blow up Wall Street.

 

[Terrance888]

I use the ship schematics and the alien medallion to call my ship upon the police outside, and invite myself, EnglishCrusader, and all his friends inside.

 

[Skwink]

I make it my life goal to kill Sam North!

 

[CivCube]

"Darth Caesar, I presume? Would you care for a whiff of foreign magic?"

 

[Abaddon]

Everyone is infected with a flesh eating disease.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I take a good look around me

 

[hoplitejoe]

Use science to create an enemy crusher!

 

[GenMarshall]

I find another way to heal myself.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Nice. I try again to rest my pulled muscle.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I consult a map to find exactly where in the world I am.

20: Turns out you're in Nigeria on the Jos Plateau, somewhere southeast of Kaduna.

The Master, known for his cunning and guile, steps aside to show Samuel North his fellow rebels and convinces Samuel North that they are all on the same team as each other and that this group, led by none other than the Master, came as Sam's rescue party.

19: *sniffs* "You came back for us!"

I thank my Russian allies and head off in search of adventure.

6: Like Chechnya?
ROLL TO DODGE!
7: You get pinned down in a firefight trying to cross into Georgia.

Curses. I blow up Wall Street.

6: Ooh, that's bad PR. Your sociability drops a point.

I use the ship schematics and the alien medallion to call my ship upon the police outside, and invite myself, EnglishCrusader, and all his friends inside.

1: The ship and its crew are back in Round Three. The police, meanwhile, decide it's time to storm the theatre.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5: A flash-bang stuns you, impeding all your rolls by 3 for the next two turns.

I make it my life goal to kill Sam North!

1 (1): TRAITOROUS SWINE!! North severs all ties with you in favour of the rebels, who put a bounty on your head worth $120,000.

"Darth Caesar, I presume? Would you care for a whiff of foreign magic?"

3: Oops. The librarian's called the police in regard to drug possession.

Everyone is infected with a flesh eating disease.

2 (3): Oh no! You've contracted a virus! It saps 9 hitpoints per turn!

I take a good look around me

8: Looks about the same as last time. Oh, and CivCube's saying something to you.

Use science to create an enemy crusher!

17 (19): Your military engineers a flamethrower tank that has big spiky rolling pins mounted to the front. Here's a picture:

Spoiler :

I find another way to heal myself.

1: You drop the rope and stand right in front of the ship, shouting for whoever's in charge. Nobody hears you, however, and you get run over, for 21 damage.

Nice. I try again to rest my pulled muscle.

15: It finally feels normal again.

 

[Red_Spy]

I grab my AK-47 and fire at the people attacking me.

 

[Verarde]

I consult a map to find out exactly where I am.