Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[choxorn]

I WANT MY SWORD BACK.

The 8 Spartans simultaneously fire assault rifles at TheLastOne while I attempt to crush him with the helicopter again.

 

[TheLastOne36]

I teleport to New Jersey

 

[GenMarshall]

I look for a way to sneak into the headquarters.

 

[Anonymoose]

Destroy MM2 utterly. Ripped to pieces by telekinetic moose power, or trampled to death, it doesn't matter.

 

[Omega124]

OOC: How the F*** does getting villains and heroes working together help my /mechanical/ skill? Well, I guess it'll come handy with my later plans...

IC: With my new found logic, I attempt to re-create the characters, applying my new logic.

 

[Earthling]

The same way Bugs Bunny summoned the devil a couple turns early? Also I still think something is up when both of us on the same team got 20's though Hoping I can come out of this successfully and make my way back to the present and we can mop up.

 

[civplayah]

I plead to God for my HP back.

 

[tuxedohamm]

I intimidate the Marines into attacking the Airforce and leaving me alone.

 

[mythmonster2]

Order the cult to attack Anonymoose while I take care of Abaddon.

 

[choxorn]

You know what, I change my order, being in New Jersey is way worse than being crushed by a helicopter. Instead, the Spartans and I just beat him up and steal my stuff back, then he can go to New Jersey if he really wants to.

 

[TheLastOne36]

new order:

I teleport to Milwaukee

 

[choxorn]

In that case, I switch back to shooting TLO and crushing him with the helicopter.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Apologies again for the delay. I've come down with a cold.

I'm guessing the Devil naturally wants black but I'll force him into a defensive Sicilian opening to stifle any tricks he has up his sleeve.

If you're being really picky lol that starts with
1. e4

Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

I turn the prison into paradise.

7: It ain't happening. You're thrown into a new, dead-bolted cell.

EDIT: Change action to cast soul drain on TLO.

4: You drain your own life force by 9 hitpoints.

I order my horde to swarm civplayah yet again

10: They swarm him, but inflict no damage... somehow.

I look for a way to sneak into the headquarters.

10 (13): You slip in through the back door.

Destroy MM2 utterly. Ripped to pieces by telekinetic moose power, or trampled to death, it doesn't matter.

3: In the psychic confusion, you are injured for 12 damage.

With my new found logic, I attempt to re-create the characters, applying my new logic.

2 (4): The machine short-circuits, and you lose 10 hitpoints.

I plead to God for my HP back.

5: God love you, but not that much. You also make yourself vulnerable to Seon's minions.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1: They beat another 20 hitpoints out of you.

I intimidate the Marines into attacking the Airforce and leaving me alone.

19 (20): Tied up in their own petty squabbles, they forget all about you.

Order the cult to attack Anonymoose while I take care of Abaddon.

2: Abaddon easily rebukes you for 13 damage.

I teleport to Milwaukee

16: Welcome to Milwaukee.

In that case, I switch back to shooting TLO and crushing him with the helicopter.

20: You hear a satisfying crunch as TheLastOne36 loses 60 hitpoints, and is pinned in a very inconvenient place (his head) by the front landing gear. The pressure on his skull risks violently upsetting his actions.

 

[Seon]

I order the brownie fairies to flank civplayah while my angels charge him

 

[GenMarshall]

I sneak to my target's bedroom.

 

[Abaddon]

I stop mythmonster2's heart.

 

[Zack]

I transport from my prison cell to Canada.

IF I GET ANOTHER FAILING ROLL THEN SOMETHING IS UP!!!

 

[civplayah]

I tell the angels that I have more of a right to them than Seon and that they should bow to me.

 

[kill fire]

Very well, since those guys are doing their thing, I think I'll just take another nap.

 

[TheLastOne36]

I rub a vodka bottle and a genie comes out, granting me 3 wishes.