Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

I call in a Phantom with Banshee support.

Actually, no. I call in a Covy Carrier, with two cruisers for support (like it needs it), and use its Seraph fighters to do strafe civplayah with plasma.

That's what you get for claiming the island.
 
I arrive in a mansion
 
Have you ever seen Avatar? Even if not, there was this one part where all the animals and forces of nature attack the humans... Yeah, I want that happening, only just to civplayah, not the entire island.
 
By default he's an NPC that I use to persecute players corral particularly weird stuff, but hey, the dice dictate the rules...
Seon said:
I salvage the stowaway red faction 3 style.
2: The stowaway parries and beats another 12 hitpoints out of you.

remake20 said:
Using my cleats I attempt to steal the coconut from !!!!!. (The cleats are used for super speed so he never sees me coming)
3 (6): The cleats only work to slow you down and decrease your stealth threshold.

!!!!! said:
see if there are any more
8: There appear to be none.

merciary said:
I cut the coconut in half.
5: The blade becomes wedged in the shell.

civplayah said:
Haha. I become self-proclaimed leader of the island.
15: With a makeshift flag you stake your claim to the island.

Double A said:
I call in a Covy Carrier, with two cruisers for support (like it needs it), and use it's Seraph fighters to do strafe civplayah with plasma.

That's what you get for claiming the island.
17: As fate would have it, not too far from the UNSC transmitter is a Covenant uplink. The ships are en route, ETA four turns.

mythmonster2 said:
I begin finding out how to forge the Ultimate Weapon.
20: You hypothesize the creation of a hyperspace death-ray capable of striking any target in the galaxy.

CivGeneral said:
I arrive in a mansion
9: You wander about until you come to a deserted farmhouse.

kill fire said:
I sit in the shade and wait it out.
4: A coconut falls from your shady tree.
ROLL TO DODGE!
8 (9): It bumps your foot for 9 damage.

landlubber said:
Have you ever seen Avatar? Even if not, there was this one part where all the animals and forces of nature attack the humans... Yeah, I want that happening, only just to civplayah, not the entire island.
17: A Hitchcock-esque sequence ensues.
ROLL TO DODGE!
16: civplayah's hut keeps out the undesirables.
 
I search the farmhouse for a Beretta 92F
 
I attempt to find BattleMech MK-2 to don to level the playing field with the stowaway.
 
look for a shield to put around me and my coconut so no one will steal it
 
I find another machete or bladed object.
 
I find a radio and use it to call in chuck norris.
 
I make sure the Elites don't kill me by becoming the Arbiter.

(all the Brutes are dead by now. they died because they killed themselves due to being so stupid.)
 
Nope. I cap all net rolls at 1 and 20.
CivGeneral said:
I search the farmhouse for a Beretta 92F
20: You find a pristine, fully-loaded Beretta and ten magazines.

Seon said:
I attempt to find BattleMech MK-2 to don to level the playing field with the stowaway.
2: The BattleMech finds you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1: You trip and it crushes your legs for 30 damage. You can't walk, and you will take ongoing -8 hitpoints until you receive proper medical treatment.

!!!!! said:
look for a shield to put around me and my coconut so no one will steal it
11: You find a rusty, but usable, riot shield.

merciary said:
I find another machete or bladed object.
16: You come across a katana hidden in a bush.

remake20 said:
I find a radio and use it to call in chuck norris.
19: Chuck is en route, ETA six turns.

kill fire said:
I try to fully reawaken my Super Saiyen abilities again.
16: You regain your bonus to energy-based attacks. Now all you need is some energy.

mythmonster2 said:
I look in the ship for parts that can be used to make the Ultimate Weapon.
13: You find some construction tools, some scrap metal, and some duct tape.

Double A said:
I make sure the Elites don't kill me by becoming the Arbiter.
7: You can't pull the disguise off at all.
 
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