Roll to Dodge XXX: Furthermore Ludicrous Edition (Part III)

[W|M]

I find some disgruntled Russians who dislike communism and disgruntled Germans who don't like fascism to join me in a democratic commune.

изменник родины!

Spoiler Translation :

Traitor to the motherland!

 

[Yoshiegg737]

I remove my boots before I go find a Russian Sergeant named Reznov

 

[Abaddon]

Update 2

This is a mini-bonus update since i'm bored. I have not moved the doom clock forward, or effected anyone who didn't post, so they won't be penalised.

I hire Soviet mercenaries to help intimidate others to vote for me!

14: You obtain two heavies who stand beside you looking menacing (+2 to coercion)

I find some logs to make a log cabin out of (and then make one).

9: No logs in sight.

I make Guardiola give me his suit to keep me warm, which gives me the power to never be cold, and his nakedness attracts everyone into looking after me!

18 (20): Leaving the naked, cold, Guardiola to fend for himself, you obtain his clothes, and also the pity of anyone looking on.

I find some disgruntled Russians who dislike communism and disgruntled Germans who don't like fascism to join me in a democratic commune.

4: All you do is find some ardent communists who fire upon you!

Roll to Dodge!

20: But some Germans come to your help and kill them off!

I remove my boots before I go find a Russian Sergeant named Reznov

2: All efforts merely tighten them, to a crippling degree, you can barely walk now!

 

[W|M]

I offer Guardiola clothes in return for officially supporting my Communist Revolution!

 

[Daftpanzer]

I wash my wounds with vodka, then cauterise using a hot shell fragment. Then I crawl into a shell-hole to rest.

 

[Red_Spy]

I say sorry, and offer to hire Luke.

 

[Omega124]

I attack WIM with my MP-40 and my troops!

изменник родины

Fürs Vaterland!

Spoiler :

For the Fatherland

 

[W|M]

You should know that it is currently a Russian winter.

 

[Boundless]

I use my new-found warmth to gain Russian support; I'm like an unlimited vodka supply!

 

[Imago]

I heal my wounds with snow and burrow to the other side of the world.

 

[mechaerik]

I use the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique to asplode WIM's heart.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I will make a secret base in a cave then.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

I spray knockout gas at hoplitejoe and steal his secret base

 

[Abaddon]

Since I have no life today, I might even get to another update! I promise at some point we will settle into a regular, daily, update schedule.. but just not yet. College is over, but I still have a trip next week, and all the excesses that come with a prolonged "goodbye"

Imma gonna buy a can of coke, and then do another update!

 

[Abaddon]

Update 3

I offer Guardiola clothes in return for officially supporting my Communist Revolution!

11: Guardiola is thankful you saved him, and pledges allegiance to you

I wash my wounds with vodka, then cauterise using a hot shell fragment. Then I crawl into a shell-hole to rest.

15 (13): The vodka flows over your wounds, flushing out the dirt, it stings like mad, and the hot shell fragment sears your flesh.. you smell like BBQ... You will survive tho, and the shell hole is a pretty safe environment.

I say sorry, and offer to hire Luke.

9: He doesn't speak your language and attacks! Shooting you in the leg. Its bleeding, and you're movement is impeded

I attack WIM with my MP-40 and my troops!

13 (15): The MP-40 opens up on WIM, as do your men. WIM takes a lot of lead.

I use my new-found warmth to gain Russian support; I'm like an unlimited vodka supply!

1: Totally the wrong kinda support. The Germans target you with their artillery. A direct hit does all kinds of horrible things to you!

I heal my wounds with snow and burrow to the other side of the world.

20 (19): You come out in New Zealand, free from your wounds.

I use the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique to asplode WIM's heart.

14 (16): He falls to the floor in cardiac arrest.

I will make a secret base in a cave then.

10: There are no caves on this battlefield.

I spray knockout gas at hoplitejoe and steal his secret base

3: Opps! It was pointed the wrong way! You collapse to the floor, knocking your head for good measure.

 

[Red_Spy]

I grab Luke's weapon, and fire back on him.

 

[Boundless]

I stop all bleeding and shell-shockedness, becoming a Jedi as I do so.

 

[hoplitejoe]

there is snow though right? I make an ice castle!

 

[Terrance888]

I find a nice winter coat to go under my German Uniform.

 

[Imago]

I ask to borrow the Insect Queen’s hordes so I can bring all fugitive ants to justice and protect all innocents caught in the Stalingrad crossfire!