Roll to Dodge XXX: Furthermore Ludicrous Edition (Part III)

[W|M]

I get a medic to heal me while Guardiola and my guards are making loads of Communist propaganda.

 

[mechaerik]

I use ultra kung fu Jesus magic on Omega and his soldier d00dz.

 

[Skwink]

I get in a nice warm tank.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

I stop getting rolls under "7" and wait on the ground until Sergeant Reznov comes to me

 

[Daftpanzer]

I attempt to sneak out of the city using my expert knowledge of the sewers and cellars.

 

[Omega124]

I fire at WIM's head. So do my troops.

 

[Abaddon]

Update 4

I grab Luke's weapon, and fire back on him.

16 (14): After a brief struggle you take the weapon on him, firing and killing him.

I stop all bleeding and shell-shockedness, becoming a Jedi as I do so.

20: I want to say "Use the FORCE Luke".. but Red_Spy just killed him.. so erm yea, SHAZAM! You are now a Jedi...

there is snow though right? I make an ice castle!

14: An what a castle! Here you are safe, and comfy.

I find a nice winter coat to go under my German Uniform.

4: While taking your German Uniform off, you become distracted by the battle around you... brrz! its cold!

I ask to borrow the Insect Queen’s hordes so I can bring all fugitive ants to justice and protect all innocents caught in the Stalingrad crossfire!

10 (9): The Insect Queen is not convinced of lending you her hordes.

I get a medic to heal me while Guardiola and my guards are making loads of Communist propaganda.

17: A pacemaker should keep you going for now

I use ultra kung fu Jesus magic on Omega and his soldier d00dz.

20: Hiiiii-YAH! THOCK, Blammo! etc! Omega and his soldier d00dz take some serious pain! You take the gun from him.

I get in a nice warm tank.

14: How handy, an empty tank, there, right, go on, enjoy!

I stop getting rolls under "7" and wait on the ground until Sergeant Reznov comes to me

15: The next two times you roll below a 7, I will re-roll it for you. Sergeant Reznov reporting comrade!

I attempt to sneak out of the city using my expert knowledge of the sewers and cellars.

2: You leave your safe hole, and with all you knowledge leads you to a GRUE!

Roll to Dodge!

2: An he eats your left leg :/

I fire at WIM's head. So do my troops.

5: With your troops already dead, and your gun gone.. the fighting is kung-fu style, and it just hurts.. (-4hp)



--------The cold is starting to bite, those still on the battle front will feel the effects after the next update! This will take a while since I now go on a trip for the full week

 

[Boundless]

I use my jedi powers to steal Skwink Caesar's awesome tank and at the same time hit Daftpanzer over the head, shell-shocking him even further...

 

[Red_Spy]

I fall into the snow, and see an old man telling me to go to Dagobah. I go to find the nearest X-Wing.

 

[Imago]

I build a great fortress in the Insect Queen's honor and prepare to ask her help again.

 

[hoplitejoe]

if i am not safe from cold bite i will kill some animals to make a nice warm bed in my castle with there fur. if i am safe i build some defences on my castle.

 

[Omega124]

I steal my gun back!

 

[Skwink]

I drive it to Hawaii.

 

[mechaerik]

Guns are for weaklings, so i take the gun and use it to make nunchaku and start a martial arts training school, where people learn to kick donkey, take names, and ignore the cold.

 

[W|M]

I distract Omega while my mercenaries and henchmen stab him with bayonets, before I steal his coat while letting the mercenaries and henchmen steal coats from other dead enemies.

 

[Terrance888]

I quicky put my unform back on top of the coat, and check my weapons.

 

[Daftpanzer]

Exhausted and mutilated, I welcome the sweet embrace of death. Only a miracle can save me now...

 

[Yoshiegg737]

Sergeant Reznov carries me into a nice warm building, healing all my negative effects

 

[Optical]

I go to Sergeant Reznov's nice warm building.

 

[Abaddon]

Update 5

I use my jedi powers to steal Skwink Caesar's awesome tank and at the same time hit Daftpanzer over the head, shell-shocking him even further...

7 (9): Your Jedi Powers can't manage all that!

I fall into the snow, and see an old man telling me to go to Dagobah. I go to find the nearest X-Wing.

11: It is about a 5 minute walk across the battle field..

I build a great fortress in the Insect Queen's honor and prepare to ask her help again.

4 (3): There is no honor in this and she expells your from her court, not before her guards roughing you up (-6hp)

if i am not safe from cold bite i will kill some animals to make a nice warm bed in my castle with there fur. if i am safe i build some defences on my castle.

13: You're castle is now nicely furnished with furs.

I steal my gun back!

14: Yoink!

I drive it to Hawaii.

2: The Tank takes a direct hit as you cross the battlefield, destroying it, and seriously hurting you in the process. (-14hp)

Guns are for weaklings, so i take the gun and use it to make nunchaku and start a martial arts training school, where people learn to kick donkey, take names, and ignore the cold.

6 (8): The gun has already been stolen from you.. an it turns out, you are a pretty lousy trainer.

I distract Omega while my mercenaries and henchmen stab him with bayonets, before I steal his coat while letting the mercenaries and henchmen steal coats from other dead enemies.

4: All you do is bring attention to yourself as the enemy shoots you!

Roll to Dodge!

5: The bullets rip a hole in your shoulder.. that hurts, and the bleeding won't stop..

I quickly put my uniform back on top of the coat, and check my weapons.

15: Fully dressed again, you find a gun in your pocket.

Exhausted and mutilated, I welcome the sweet embrace of death. Only a miracle can save me now...

9 (7): As you lay there, all that happens is the frost begins to dig in.. (-6hp)

Sergeant Reznov carries me into a nice warm building, healing all my negative effects

13 (11): He carries you to a warm building.. everything else is the same..

I go to Sergeant Reznov's nice warm building.

18: You are there and find a gun and a set of warm clothes


...
An so the inactives and those on the battlefield start to feel the pain and suffering of warfare!

CivCube -5hp inactive.. he is just sat in the middle of the frozen battlefield.. so figure!

Boundless, Mechaerik, Daftpanzer, Skwink Caesar, CivCube, west india man, Red_Spy and Terrance888 all contract pneumonia.. (-1hp/turn, death in 5 turns)

---------------
Sorry this has been a slow game so far guys.. my end of term trip/fun is over, so now i will be updating regularly again...