Roll to Dodge XXXI: Furthermore Ludicrous Edition (Part IV)

[KaiserElectric]

I kick Abbadon in the seat of the pants for failing to update this.

 

[Abaddon]

I bandage myself while crawling out of the AK-47's lines of fire to find a tank.

12: The bleeding stops

I collect west india man's spare blood in a jar.

11: You now have a small vial of his blood

I look around to see what kinda stuff it is.

5: Can't really see from here...

I become priest of the church.

9: They don't ordain females.

I ignore the 2781st Communist Russian knockoff in Civfanatics and I go back to my submarine in the Atlantic Ocean.

10: Too far away.

I head to my office and declare myself Premier for life.

7: No one is interested, and you don't even have an office!

Drink down a gallon of Vodka! For Russia!!!

11: Somehow, you survive!

I burn Red Spy with my rocket boots before fleeing the country

8 (9): They misfire and not much happens.

I kill myself.

3: You cut your veins the wrong way.. still hurts though.

Having gone berserk on everyone else, I curse these Slav weaklings and attack them in the name of Norway!

2: The spell wears off and you find you have embedded the Axe in your foot!

I annex the Low Countries.

16 (17): The Low Countries are annexed.

I join the game and suicide bomb the Premier of the Motherland!

6: You don't have any bomb equipment.

I kick Abbadon in the seat of the pants for failing to update this.

19: He updates.

 

[Verarde]

I get all the stuff I currently have in Thorvald of Lym's RtD, including the body I am in possession of.

 

[Red_Spy]

I declare Yoshi an enemy of the state.

 

[Catharsis]

I collect Skwink's spare blood in a different jar.

 

[KaiserElectric]

I don't care how far away it is, I blow this Popsicle stand and get back to my submarine by any means necessary.

 

[Takhisis]

I ease the axe head out of my leg.

 

[Skwink]

I jump under a car.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

I flee the country on my rocket boots

 

[Takhisis]

What happens if Red_Spy gets a bad roll, you're instead proclaimed a national hero, and nobody's able to find you?

 

[Yoshiegg737]

Umm, then I return triumphantly

 

[GamezRule]

I invade and annex Spain, Portugal, Germany, and Italy.

With that, I economically dominate Switzerland.

 

[Boundless]

I take a gender and equality case out against the church, winning and taking all their money.

 

[NinjaCow64]

I reform the Russian government into a Vodkarist (a mixture between Communism, Democracy and the belif in drinking lots of Vodka) government.

FOR VODKA!!!

 

[Takhisis]

Link to video.

 

[Abaddon]

I get all the stuff I currently have in Thorvald of Lym's RtD, including the body I am in possession of.

17: By some quirk in the time continumum, you obtain similar items to those of a similar you from another universe...

I declare Yoshi an enemy of the state.

10 (12): While in Russia he will receive -1 to his rolls.

I collect Skwink's spare blood in a different jar.

2: You catch AIDS.

I don't care how far away it is, I blow this Popsicle stand and get back to my submarine by any means necessary.

13opsicle stands are blown, captain.

I ease the axe head out of my leg.

1: You do, by forcing it through you leg..

I jump under a car.

12: You are now underneath a car.

I flee the country on my rocket boots

9 (8): The boots misfire again...

I invade and annex Spain, Portugal, Germany, and Italy.

With that, I economically dominate Switzerland.

6: You're Army doesn't seem very interested in more conquest.

I take a gender and equality case out against the church, winning and taking all their money.

11: You win, crippling the church and forcing is closing. They survived on donations.

I reform the Russian government into a Vodkarist (a mixture between Communism, Democracy and the belief in drinking lots of Vodka) government.

FOR VODKA!!!

19: FOR VODKA!!! You are placed high in the ranks of government.

 

[Takhisis]

My trollish blood makes me regenerate. I'm not sure what other things my trollish blood makes me do. I feel strange things…

 

[Skwink]

I heal myself with me mind.

 

[KaiserElectric]

I use the high-tech equipment on my submarine to rickroll everyone in the Church of the Savior on Split Blood in St. Petersberg.

 

[Catharsis]

I spill the rest of my vial of WIM's blood onto the steps of the Church of the Saviour on Spilt Blood, saying a little prayer for a cure.