What changed your life?

How can you read it and not be amazed?

One man's trash is another man's treasure; beauty in the eye of the beholder; etc.



Anyhow, life-changing stuff? For fiction, I have a few works of fiction I call my personal "Gods of Fiction." They are not called Gods just because I like them per se or because they are well-crafted (and in fact being good stories isn't technicallya requirement), but because they represent important influences on my life and my creative writing/imagination/what have you. I don't really think these things are necessarily something that others might enjoy, much less appreciate the way I do - these things, I think, are very personalized and individualized - thus not quite ansewring the OP, but I feel like it would be nice ot mention them here.

Anyways, these "Gods" are, in semi-chronological order:

1. Grave of the Fireflies. When I encountered this at ~8 years of age, it was a rather sobering and shocking experience, particularly since, well, I was a little kid. It was the first step in helping me learn a bit more about the real world and the fact that it wasn't Disney. Of all the things on this list, it is probably the most depressing, and something I would actually recommend to everyone. I believe even the great movie critic Roger Ebert considered it one of the greatest movies of all time, so despite being, well, technically an anime, this is not something that should be taken lightly, at all.



2. Lord of the Rings I came across slowly during my late Elementary School and early Middle School years. What it did for me was introduce to me the idea not so much that there could be other beautifully crafted worlds - any good work of fiction can do that - but that in these worlds, one could put in history, geography, politics, mythology, language, and more. In other words, LotR introduced me to conworlding, one of my grand hobbies. And conworlding, in the way that sci-fi has done for some in science and humanities, has allowed me to appreciate many aspects of the real world by analyzing them in a made-up one - in other words, a perfect laboratory for trying to understand a myriad of things. Conworlding, and the creative writing it is so closely related to, also was an important way for me to creatively let off steam during my teenage years. I still say to this day that the creator I aspire to be like is Tolkien, not so much because of the writing, but because of the conworlding.



3. Romance of the Three Kingdoms. For those who don't know it's considered one of CHina's four great classical novels, and in some cases the greatest one, and it is widely appreciated across the Sinosphere (i.e. China, Korea, Japan, Vietnam). My dad bought an English translation of it for me during my 7th grade. Like LotR, it ignited my imagination and made me think history no longer as a bunch of facts (albeit interesting ones), but as a living, breathing narrative and epic, something that could be spun into literature. In many ways, while LotR may have prepared me for it, it was RotK that laid the foundations for my interest in creative writing, as much of my early creative writing tried to emulate the historical epic style of it. Another important effect RotK had for me was that it also helped make me more aware of being Asian and all that, and it did turn me into a bit of a Sinophile during my middle school years.



4. Azumanga Daioh. Now we get to the more interesting stuff. Azumanga Daioh is an anime series, and, if you know anything about it, not entirely something that sounds like life-changing, deep material, although it apparently has had a lot of influence on many anime that came after it. My favorite cousin forced me to watch it during the summer after my ninth grade (I didn't watch any anime out of my own volition until after high school, which is quite strange considering most of my Asian friends watched anime to some degree growing up and even now). It is ultimately a comedy, indeed, but a comedy in the style of Seinfeld: nothing much happens, per se.

It taught me a few things, however. Firstly, to not take things too seriously, to be more easy-going and laid-back sometimes. Life isn't always a struggle, a terrible thing to be constantly cynical at. A fortune cookie message I got around this time, I think, summarizes the issue well: "For those who feel, life is a tragedy. For those who laugh, life is a comedy." Secondly, for my creative writing, it introduced the novel idea that I didn't need grand plots and sweeping epics to make a good story; in fact, the simple and the whimsical and be just as enjoyable and even profound. This "slice of life" style, which is so rampant in contemporary anime (and American sitcoms, coincidentally, in my opinion) but rarely developed successfully, was also something I added to my reportoire of creative writing (or tried to).



5. The Catcher in the Rye is a rather controversial book - you either love it or hate it. I can understand why people hate it, and won't go into that here, but for me, I loved it. It was assigned to me in English class during 10th grade, and for me it was the finest piece of characterization I ever came across. In fact I admit I can't think of a book I read more quickly than that.

As for its influence on my life, I like to think of it as the more sobering, angsty half to Azumanga Daioh. Whereas The Catcher in the Rye showed me the dark side of things, so to speak, Azumanga Daioh showed me the light side. It made me truly ponder about life for the first time (regardless of whether such pondering was adolescent or not - it was at least a start), and, it also made me not want to be an angsty teenager, which would have important ramifications for me psychologically in various aspects of my life in the coming few years. In terms of creative writing, it also made me realize the importance of characterization.


6. Samurai Jack is something I added as a God of Fiction because I don't like the number six and I wanted #7 to not be #6. However, I won't deny that over the years it has had its importance to me and I've always considered it something of a demi-god. Its importance, however, is more in the realms of conworlding and creative writing. It just gave me a lot of ideas, that's all; and as such I suppose it's the "weakest" of my Gods of Fiction.


7. Last on the list (so far) is an anime series named Hyouka. Like Azumanga Daioh above, this one was a bit of a surprise to me, since I wasn't really expecting any anime to make that big of an impact on my life. But this one did, very much. I wouldn't recommend it to most people, even those that don't mind anime; it's very slow, and when I say slow, I seriously mean it. Think of the slowest-paced work of fiction you can think of; Hyouka will make it look like a Hollywood action movie. That's not to mention not a lot of people would agree with the fact that it's well-written or a good story. Fair enough, I suppose, it's not to everyone's taste. Anyhow, I came across this a couple of years ago, and it helped, in a sense, bridge the gap between the darkness of The Catcher in the Rye and the lightness of Azumanga Daioh for me, by introducing a more sober, moderate, bittersweet middle. It's difficult for me to exactly explain why it resonated so much with me, perhaps because I am still struggling psychologically and emotionally with some of the things I relate it with.

Whatever it is, it made something *click* in my mind - that *click* helped me slowly realize that something had not been right since I started college, that there was something deep inside me that bothered me. This *click* eventually led me to realize I needed to see a counselor/psychologist, and I am quite glad I did, as I was diagnosed with mild anxiety and depression. Which all makes Hyouka seem like a rather depressing series; it's not. On the contrary, it does the slice of life thing pretty well: quietly observing the little things. It never threw at me any obvious "deep" message, or profound insight; it slowly warmed me up over time. Every time I watched an episode, I found myself bored at first, yet, by the episode's end, I felt as if I watched something amazing; it is, I assure you, an addicting feeling. In fact the entire series was like that - at first I found the series passable (which I suppose translates to "good" for a normal person) but not memorable, yet as time went on I liked it more and more, until literally the last five minutes of the last episode convinced me this was truly the first God of fiction I had encountered in years.

To be honest, I'm still not sure what exactly it did to and for me. I still sometimes call the current phase of my life the "Age of Hyouka." Perhaps, in a way, it was the thing that helped me break free of my childhood and begin my path into adulthood. I don't know. It's a strange thing. In a way it actually left me with more questions than answers about life, about myself, about my past, my present, my future. But maybe that's how it's meant to be. Again, I don't really recommend this to most people, but I do wish there were more people I could talk to it about. I sincerely think I haven't delved into how much an effect it's had on me at an emotional, even spiritual level (and as someone who isn't the most religious person, I don't say that lightly).






Anyhow, I've rambled long enough about all these Gods of Fiction. I've never really written about them much before, come to think of it, despite the influence they've had on my life to varying degrees. What I would like to emphasize is that I love these stories not because they were good or profound per se; in fact, some might even say some of these aren't that profound to begin with. They were profound because I made them profound.

I suppose this has always been my issue with fiction. I might read the greatest story ever made, but if I don't make it great for myself in some way, then it simply isn't great. It is very easy for me to be bored or at best indifferent to a lot of fiction - an old game my friends and cousins would sometimes play with me is to see whether I'll actually like a book, a movie, an anime, anything, and almost always the answer will be something like "meh." My Gods of Fiction aren't great because they are inherently great; they are great because I (or my experiences) made them great. Oddly there is something that sounds existentialist about that, but I won't say further because my knowledge of philosophy is limited.




Good grief that was the longest rant I've typed in years.
 
"Say 'yes' more."

Not necessarily literally saying 'yes' to everything, just being more positive about everything and trying new things - even if you might not like it - if only to experience it.
 
Tough question. Something accessible that people might know? Fred Rogers, maybe.
 
The events that have dramatically changed my life are generally not things that I would recommend to others.

If you somebody who was raised in relative privilege though, I think it is critical to spend a fairly significant amount of time really working with people who are not (like, multiple months). My time spent as a missionary, and later, inner-city school teacher, have framed the way I look at the world more than any college course, or post-teaching job, I've ever had.

This. My time in both Iraq as a soldier and Afghanistan as a contractor completely changed the way I look at the world.
 
This. My time in both Iraq as a soldier and Afghanistan as a contractor completely changed the way I look at the world.

Anything specifically?
 
"Say 'yes' more."

Not necessarily literally saying 'yes' to everything, just being more positive about everything and trying new things - even if you might not like it - if only to experience it.

I like the term say OK more. Yu wil be open to more things but obvious exceptions.

edit: “Before Enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood, carry water.” Zen proverb
 
I am not of the opinion that singular "watershed" moments which totally change a person actually exist¹. Change for an individual only comes with consistent exposure to a stimulus and conscious desire to do things differently over a significant period of time.

Also anecdotally going back and attributing changes to one specific event in your past, absent context and accounting for time is kind of silly and naturally going to have a whole lot of nostalgia, hindsight and bias that you're going to have to take into account and unpack if you want any kind of connection to reality here.

¹Except for death, I suppose

That being said, I would say those things which have had the greatest impact of who I am as a person today would be:

#nes generally, but Dachs and Masada most specifically for really breaking me down and getting me to see history in less absolute, more post-modern terms. A lot of my opinions on things are pretty directly attributable to that. Also #nes has really affected my sense of humor over the years.

My gf of the past nearly 3 years has obviously had an enormous impact on a whole [feces]ton of things. Way too many things to list, but she's made me less reclusive, more social, more outdoorsy. I think the biggest thing she's done for me in terms of changing my personality for the better is that she's made me a more openminded person. #nes did a fantastic job of breaking me down as a dickish, obnoxiously-self-confident idiot teenager, but the gf really contributed the lionshare to my building myself back up through college, resulting in me being a lot less judgmental, and a lot more receptive and open-minded than I was before I met her. There's a lot of other smaller things like any hundreds of bands and shows and humor that she got me into. Most of my friends today I met through her. I could say my fashion sense changed because of her, but really I didn't have much of a fashion sense to speak of before I met her and started being more conscious of how I dressed.
 
#nes?
 
Oh, also Sabermetrics have really affected how I look at certain things, most obviously baseball, but it's really changed how I think about data and numbers more generally. And that mostly goes down to _Perfectionist who really changed my conception of how baseball could work.
 
I am not of the opinion that singular "watershed" moments which totally change a person actually exist¹. Change for an individual only comes with consistent exposure to a stimulus and conscious desire to do things differently over a significant period of time.

Also anecdotally going back and attributing changes to one specific event in your past, absent context and accounting for time is kind of silly and naturally going to have a whole lot of nostalgia, hindsight and bias that you're going to have to take into account and unpack if you want any kind of connection to reality here.

¹Except for death, I suppose


Would you say that perhaps it is not the event or object in question that changes one, but how one chooses to interpret it, then?
 
Oh, also Sabermetrics have really affected how I look at certain things, most obviously baseball, but it's really changed how I think about data and numbers more generally. And that mostly goes down to _Perfectionist who really changed my conception of how baseball could work.

Of books, Nassim Taleb probably had the biggest impact in how I critically think about things.

Otherwise, The China Study was the catalyst leading me towards a mostly Vegetarian diet.

In general, people try to attach too much meaning to why they are who they are. Disc sports are very important to me, but just from a coincidence of logistics keeping me from playing soccer one summer. I lift weights and train for strength/cardio/etc. pretty seriously, but mostly for health reasons, even though I started so I'd be less scrawny and more attractive to girls. I play guitar, primarily because I move around quite a bit and a guitar is more convenient than a piano which I played for ten or so years.

I.e. Most of the things that define you are the result of random coincidence.

edit: Post not directed to you Owen, you mentioning data and numbers just made me think about Taleb and then I kept going.
 
Actually, thinking about it again, there is one thing that has definitely changed my life - as in without it my life would be very different - but it's not something I'd want anyone to experience: having an incurable chronic illness.

As a few of you may know I have Crohn's disease, and while it has only recently hit me a bit hard, I've suddenly realized - as a result of this thread - how much it has affected my life. Now, certainly, I'm quite lucky to have supportive friends and family and to be middle-class in a developed first world country, but, well, even that can't change the fact that it's an incurable chronic illness. Now that I think about it, it's affected me in ways not readily apparent to me at first. For instance, due to Crohn's, I've been severely underweight and weak, which does no wonders for my self-image. I've also lost a number of opportunities that I could have had had I been a relatively normal, healthy person. I've even lost an entire year of college due to my recent lapse in health due to Crohn's. And the medical bills helped teach me early on about, well, how much bills suck. Crohn's also meant my parents were more overprotective of me for longer than needed, stunting my emotional growth to a mild degree. And with Crohn's I'm constantly fatigued, so I sometimes just don't feel like doing things, which doesn't contribute too healthily to depression and all that.

But I suppose these are all good life lessons in one way or another, annoying and frustrating as they can be. In a way, without Crohn's, I'd just be another upper-middle class kid with only first world problems.
 
Would you say that perhaps it is not the event or object in question that changes one, but how one chooses to interpret it, then?

No, I'd say it's mostly post-facto labeling based on a human obsession with cause and explanation, and the need for narrative. This is, understandably something which we have a very hard time grappling with because reality tends to defy narrative. For example:

One day I wake up and realize: "hey I really like early-90s hip-hop music". Why do I like that? I didn't like this kind of music 2 years ago. Therefore something must have happened between two years ago and now that triggered me to suddenly decide to like hip hop music. Well the first thing that pops out at me is listening to that NPR podcast where they interviewed Lupe Fiasco and I was impressed by the level of intellectualism in the music of his they played. After that I started listening to various rap artists and then one day in London I listened to illmatic and that's where it all started. So therefore that must be it. After that moment I started liking hip-hop music.

That tends to be how these sorts of things work out. Something is different in me now than before. That thing must have one moment, one singular cause which changed my state of being completely and totally. Rather than the more likely and realistic explanation which is gradually being influenced by a number of things and many different, possibly disparate trends over a long period of time which happened so subtly that you probably didn't even notice it.

And of course, as I mentioned before, one also needs to keep in mind with these things that we're all doing this on a self-identification basis. We all have a certain conception of ourselves and our past which is, of course biased because memory is a fickle thing and works in strange ways. We as a species love telling stories, and history, or at least, truthful, accurate history, tends to be a thing which defies narrative. That change we perceive may just be something we see because of the memories that stick out and how we view our past selves, but if you were to ask somebody else, you may get a different image entirely. To a friend of 5 or 6 years ago maybe I was really into hip-hop and I just don't remember that part of me very well. Or maybe I'm just thinking about two events - listening to the podcast and now listening to rap every day in the car - and forgetting all the crap in between, such as that between these two events I had a Grateful Dead phase and a 70s punk music phase and a New Wave phase and a 50s Blues phase, etc. The problem with describing "things which changed your life" is that is that you have to remember that the day-to-day minutiae of life is long, boring, and tends to be forgotten between those things which you have personally identified as "major events". In between all those "transcendental, life-shattering events", you're still living life: going to work, eating, sleeping, pooping, being bored, fiddling about on the forums. Nobody totally changes themselves in one day. That's why New Years Resolutions are mostly bullcrap. You don't go to sleep on December 31st as a guy who hates going to the gym and wake up on January 1st and suddenly transform into a gym rat. It doesn't happen. It's a farce.

It's kind of like this with all things. The most commonly dragged out example is, of course, trying to get over an ex. You have this image built into your head about how wonderful and perfect that person is, and how happy you were when you were with that person. Of course that's because we tend to remember those things which we, in hindsight label as important. When I think of being in x relationship, I don't think of every single moment of every day being in that relationship. I think of one moment which, to me, sums up that relationship; that defines that relationship for me in my mind. And however that memory makes me feel is how I'm going to remember being in that relationship. Unless you now have a very sour opinion of that person, it's probably going to be a very fond memory. So you build up this idea in your head that you were eternally happy when you were with that person. Of course if you tell your best friend this they might go "huh? No dude, you two were miserable - you bickered all the damn time, it was obnoxious being around, that's why you two broke up, remember?" Of course his memories too are shaped by those things that stick out to him. His mental picture when he thinks of the two of you is you being in some big fight or another and that warps how he sees you two as a couple. That's just how memory works.

My point, I suppose, is that it's all well and good to talk about how you see yourself and what, in retrospect, you think may have influenced yourself. But these things need to be taken with a grain of salt. A life is a very, very long time, and we, for the most part, don't tend to remember every detail of every second of every day we've ever lived. And beyond the personal memory there's all sorts of other things going on which may have influenced us in incredibly subtle ways we don't or haven't yet realized. The thread's a fun exercise, certainly. We get to see how everyone sees themselves and everybody loves talking about themselves, even if they won't admit it aloud. But to pretend like everything has some definable, singular, transcendental cause is to assign fantasyland Walter Mitty bull[feces] where none exists.

tl;dr much like with history, very few things actually have simple answers. Context tends to be ignored. Memory is a weird thing and this stuff is all biased because: a) humans really like making stories out of things with neat little arcs and defined, simplistic cause and effect, b) people tend to remember those things which they have decided with hindsight are important, and subsequently forget or move to the backs of their minds everything which isn't, most especially the day-to-day drudgery of life which tends to conflict with the narrative and self-image they've cultivated of themselves.
 

:goodjob:

Although I have a strict policy against New Years resolutions, I actually went from "never went to a gym" to "daily gym lifting" over Christmas/New Years break 2007, but it was just a result of going to a gym to kill some time with some friends during some downtime from snowboarding at a resort and thinking "huh, this is pretty good."

Of course, that doesn't take into account that I was already athletic and just didn't lift weights, I'd been contemplating lifting for years already, and after beginning to lift it took me years to get them to a point where I wouldn't now consider my lifts embarrassingly bad, both in quantity and technique.
 
What does it mean?

Never Ending Stories, a forum at CFC.

I wouldn't say I've had any single life-altering events, and I certainly wouldn't go so far as to say everyone should have any event I've had in my life. Sure, I've had events that have changed my interests over the long term (oftentimes, introducing me to new ones), such as having an awesome history teacher in 9th grade (and then 10th and 11th, too), which really got me interested in history when it had just been another subject before that. But I can't say there has been anything that has fundamentally altered my philosophy on life.

Although one of the bigger ones was deciding to move out of state for college. It was certainly in part a reaction to having lived in one place my whole life, and not having traveled much outside of that area. But it also was in part a feeling of, "if I don't do this now, I might well not ever move out of this area". And even though I've since moved back to where I grew up, I think that was generally a good decision. It expanded what I experienced (although not drastically initially, subsequent places I've lived have all increased that), introduced me to new friend groups whereas quite a few of the people I knew who stayed local have basically the same friends they did in high school, and had a significant indirect impact due to my later decisions to study abroad and move somewhere else after college, both of which probably would not have happened had I stayed local for college.

I wouldn't say everyone should do it, though. To start with, I wouldn't say everyone should necessarily go to college - if you want to be a really good mechanic or a plumber, study to do that instead. But even if you are going to college, I don't think it's necessary to go somewhere far away to get a good experience. That can help in breaking out of a bubble, but there's certainly benefits to staying close to the comforts of home as well. I may have been happier if I had stayed local, even though my experiences probably would have been less varied. I think the really important thing is getting involved in part of the college experience that isn't just hanging out with the same high school friends you knew before, but really getting to meet new people (even if you do sometimes hang out with the same friends). And, from what I've observed with my friends, in large part that means living on campus if possible. My friends who did that (even when going to school locally) by and large formed new, additional friend groups during college. The ones who lived at their parents' place the whole time or most of it, by and large didn't make new friend groups. And at a time in life when it's relatively easy to make lots of new friends, that's rather unfortunate.
 
I think they might have not been properly presented. How can you read it and not be amazed? Do you understand how Durham survived being "paused" in the middle of the book?
Sorry have to pass. I simply can't remember. Just reinforces my opinion that I need to reread it.
But it is very odd that you ask me how I can not be amazed after I wrote that I was full of amazement after having finished the book (and it wasn't amazement about me actually finishing it ;)).
Interesting. I took a quick glance through the forum and couldn't find it. It does help explain Owen Glyndwr's post though.
You'll need to use the search function. If you are interested just search in the history sub-section for the author or the title. I am sure you will find it in a reasonable amount of time.
There was some pretty substantial critic as I recall.
 
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