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What do you want out of life?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Dekker, Nov 20, 2019.

  1. hobbsyoyo

    hobbsyoyo Deity

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    I have a hard time distinguishing this:
    From this:
    Even if you take 'with what I have' in the second quote to mean non-material things, the first quote featured a lot of those as well.

    I talked here about my dream to move to Mars. I'm pretty serious about it; when I started dating my wife I told her on our second or third date that I was serious about going to Mars one day and she had to know that about me. This was back when I still working in kitchens and tape factories.

    I didn't put it here as a life goal because I don't want to tie my happiness and life fulfillment to it.
     
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  2. yung.carl.jung

    yung.carl.jung Hey Bird! I'm Morose & Lugubrious

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    the distinction is, in my opinion, that the capitalist treadmill of happiness literally promises you bliss and fulfillment at any step, as purely a side effect of material goals, while me personally I just take the happy and precious moments as they come, and don't hold out for them, don't expect them, don't make them a goal of mine.

    but in the end you're of course right (if you were even implying) that my mentality is shaped by society and capitalism, I mean obviously it is. I'm obsessed with some material things, too, and with many superficialities. many of my goals are material ones, many of my dreams are, too. it would be weird, if anything, if I was immune to this pressure.

    I think it's really cool that you want to live on another planet and I hope you get the chance in your lifetime, that is quite the utopian dream :D
     
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  3. MaryKB

    MaryKB Deity Supporter

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    I want to have children, taking care of them as I watch them grow up.
     
  4. Synsensa

    Synsensa - Retired Moderator

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    It's good you included the "taking care of them" part. Many parents forget that step of the process.
     
  5. Narz

    Narz keeping it real

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    Nothing is ever owed, you have to take what you want.

    I feel like life always asks how hungry I am, if I'm not hungry enough for what I supposedly want it spits in my face.

    In 2006 I figured we'd be living in a peakoil wasteland by now.
     
  6. Dekker

    Dekker Prince

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    I admire your passion, and am interested in knowing what some of your passions are?
     
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  7. Phrossack

    Phrossack Armored Fish and Armored Men

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    I used to plan to be a history professor, but I don't want that anymore. I used to want to learn a lot of languages, but that takes too much work. Ideally I'd have a wife or steady girlfriend, a career that I love and which makes a real difference in the world, one which I can become an expert in and be proud of, plus a home in a forested area near mountains and rivers. But that ship has sailed on all counts.

    My current goal is to kill time in a not-unpleasant way for another 15-20 years to be around for my parents. I'd rather not stick around any longer than that.
     
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  8. Dekker

    Dekker Prince

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    Ya man life can suck and goals fall out of reach. Guess that's kinda the reason I made this thread, to see what those little (or big) things are that people get out of life that makes it worthwhile to them.. actualize as hygro put it.

    Living for your parents is noble and selfless, but I think we all deserve to be selfish. What I learned is that you can make a real difference even if it's not world shattering, it's still the world to the person you made it for.
     
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  9. Kyriakos

    Kyriakos Alien spiral maker

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    I would like a solar system to be named after me.
     
  10. Dekker

    Dekker Prince

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    Just about to fire up a game of Stellaris
     
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  11. yung.carl.jung

    yung.carl.jung Hey Bird! I'm Morose & Lugubrious

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    well, first off thank you for the thread dekker. it's always good to ask oneself these questions, I had a very pleasant reflection. I especially like how you phrased it. instead of going with "what are your goals in life" you left the question wide open.

    that's lovely of you to ask. first and foremost is loving to cook and eat, travel abroad, see how things grow, how they're processed, obsess over every minor step, experience the whole sensory range.. smell, looks, taste, texture.. from basic organic chemistry to the microbacterial processes in fermentation to the specifics of cooking styles, schools, particular recipes, the history behind food, it never let's me go. I eat literally anything anyone has ever considered edible, and have a pretty sick track record of weird and interesting stuff I've eaten.

    I'm obsessed with anything arts, especially music, film, the visual arts and literature. if my parents aren't bull****ting me (they might be) I taught myself reading when I was about four or five. I started with greek myths, moved onto egypt, then a lot of natural science stuff, especially about animals. and then at about 12 I ended up really getting into both literature and music. my dad was feeding me jazz records and I was getting into electronic and rock music, mostly working myself up from the 60s. at about 14 I switched big time and started watching 2 or 3 movies each day, getting into arthouse etc. and developing a real understanding for how movies are actually made. it hasn't let off ever since, I think most of my time is still spent listening to music (sometimes with all the lights out and headphones on) and watching films. I draw every now and then and I write a lot. Poems, short stories, stream of consciousness, aphorisms, essays, anything really.

    I'm a little weird, I smile a lot more than other people, I joke around all the time and when it feels right I just dance or sing or do one of my silly voices. I enjoy a lot of situations people find unpleasant, like waiting in the doctors office. I sometimes ask seemingly unrelated questions or confess something personal just because I think people should be a bit more real. I like life when it's different, when you go below the surface level. I understand some people may view this as rude and inconsiderate and they may be right. ever since I left school, I have had the same ritual. when I feel the time is right I walk up to one of my professors, and I try my absolute best to guess what music they listened to when they were young. then I just look them straight into the eyes and ask: "do you like Bauhaus by any chance?" I haven't been wrong a single time. sometimes I will just walk up to people and butt into their conversation if its interesting, which I understand many people think is rude. sometimes I'll just start talking to people randomly when they don't seem busy. I've made lots of friends this way, and couldn't really imagine living any different. it's one of my favorite things in life when you walk up to a total stranger and connect. so yeah, maybe this is one of my greatest passions, to never give up meeting new people, especially ones outside my zone of comfort, to get an understanding of what's really going on in the world.

    besides that I have a lot of other passions, but I feel my reply is already too long. I love collecting stuff (notice the irony vis a vis my earlier post), I'm very interested inphilosophy, plants and botany, history and culture, politics, fashion and insects.

    fully agree

    I feel this every day, too, both literally and metaphorically. I cannot even imagine myself as full, my fullness is only ever a temporary state, but hunger is the constant one. I've gotta admit mine's been bigger at times, but I'm trying to work up an appetite.

    we are living in a wasteland, the first worlders not in a literal one, but definitely in terms of our culture, our dreams and aspirations. I think we've never been more dry and self-referential. note that I'm not trying to be like a cultural pessimist here, I actually disagree with many people that there isn't any good music / art out there, in fact there is plenty. but popular culture has literally never been more vapid.
     
  12. Commodore

    Commodore Technology of Peace

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    I have achieved all I want to achieve in life and have surrounded myself with the people I want to be surrounded by. Beyond that I would just like wider society to leave me alone as I live out the remainder of my days.
     
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  13. Birdjaguar

    Birdjaguar Hanafubuki Retired Moderator Supporter

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    The end game is very different than leveling. It is all about filling gaps and "discovering" the new "bosses" that are tracking you down with venom in their hearts. The gaps between saves is longer and the game moves closer and closer to hardcore.
     
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  14. Dekker

    Dekker Prince

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    Thanks for the reply, long enough for me to get a better sense of your outlook and I dig it, wasn't looking for a list of everything you are into so thanks for sharing!

    Knowing there's the ability to approach life in that way, or as Tim raved about in the rave thread, finding nirvana nirply from a hot shower warm sweats and snow, gives me a little more inspiration to reflect on my own outlook and learn to appreciate life more, because I've always been a 'goals' guy and achieving some and accepting that I won't others, still leaves a lot to be desired. Maybe that's the hunger you and Narz speak to but I know for myself it sometimes seems like I have no passions.

    Thanks everyone for sharing much appreciated!
     
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  15. Kyriakos

    Kyriakos Alien spiral maker

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    Then you become a NPC and get moved to an underground level where you stay forever.
     
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  16. Lexicus

    Lexicus Deity

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    For real I don't really know...I want to know everything, literally everything, but that's sadly impossible...I want to love and be loved, and idk, make some positive impact in some people's lives I guess...some physical comfort is nice...video games...idk
     
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  17. MaryKB

    MaryKB Deity Supporter

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    I WANT A BABY
     
  18. Synsensa

    Synsensa - Retired Moderator

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    hello i am baby
     
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  19. CurtSibling

    CurtSibling ENEMY ACE™ SLeague Staff Supporter

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    I'm sure they can be bought on the deep web.
     
  20. yung.carl.jung

    yung.carl.jung Hey Bird! I'm Morose & Lugubrious

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    I feel like in a way goals and passions are something opposed to each other: a goal is a temporary state you are trying to reach. after you have reached it, you abandon it. The passion is the opposite. It's a thing you do for its own sake. Most people that hike just like being around nature, they don't really do it for weight loss. The activity itself is the point, you go out into nature to be in nature. You'd never abandon a passion, because you cannot "fulfill" a passion. A passion is like a commitment, like a relationship with something, other than someone.

    Another example, I used to both lift and run just to lose weight and look better. While it was sometimes fun, it mostly was a pain in the ass and felt like work. I was micromanaging, measuring calory intake, making exercise plans, noting progress and setting timers etc. I did achieve what I set out, lost a bit more than 80 pounds and felt like the work was done. And then as time went by I stopped, because it was never fun or enjoyable. Unsurprisingly I gained back more than 25 pounds in just a few years.

    But recently I've taken up training again, on a pretty unrelated note. My uncle, a fantastic guy that I loved a great deal, passed away. He had an exercise bench and some dumbells and barbells that he used for decades, with no one really up to take them. I've always liked weight training the most out of exercising, it's the only one that ever felt "right" to me in a sense, so I went for it. I like the kind of tingling sesation that the brittle metal leaves on your hands. The coldness of it, the heaviness. When you're training with exercise machines in a gym, ever move of yours is in a way predestined. Your posture, movement etc. are predefined by the machine. When you're doing free body or free weight training you need correct posture. You need to get a feel for how to move organically, something which is pretty much lost on 21st century humans. We can't even take a poop or lift things correctly (referring to the fact that modern toilets are built too high and put us into an unhealthy position, when correctly it should be something analogous to squatting), and its damaging us. Getting a feel for your body, your organs, the whole flow of it, is something I've always admired. It greatly helps in understanding what is really going on in this meat cage, and in my opinion it's quite fascinating and beautiful, though I suppose few people include the gut micriobiome or lung capillaries in their definition of beauty, I certainly do.

    The point is: Exercise feels different now, in every way. It's no longer work, it's rather something I actually want to do. I no longer optimize, I just follow where it leads me. I'll only increase weight if it feels right, do the exercises that I'm best equipped to do and that appeal to me, that have some beauty in their movement, instead of having a perfectly lined out full body training. I choose the occasion and the mood. Sometimes I don't even put on music, just listen to the sounds of my breath and the metal clicking. And of course I think about my uncle a lot, and feel kinda connected to him. That's just the icing on the cake. I hope I could paint a decent picture of what is a goal and what is a passion, and how one could transform a goal into a passion. As so often, @Synsensa said it better, with fewer words. The difference between a goal in life, and a passion is, paraphrasing:

    It's one thing to want to have children. It's another to want to take care of, nurture, love children.

    Edit: I want to make myself clear so I'm not misunderstood with the point I am making. I don't think having goals in life is bad, at all. I have many goals, actually, material ones, too. Goals are a great source of motivation to all of us, they help us work harder and pull through. Finishing something is a worthy task in and of itself, in my opinion. And yeah, I do actually spend a great deal of my free time aspiring towards some goals I set, like writing my first cookbook. But, and here is the big catch: I don't think this gives me any purpose, or meaning, or much fulfillment. Quite the opposite. Once you reach a goal it leaves you with happiness and catharsis, but also with a hole. That hole will be another, further goal. Ad infinitum. Almost any goal you can think of can be one-upped. It's the opposite with passions. My weightlifting would be more effective, but not more meaningful with better equipment. Your fishing doesn't get more meaningful with a better rod. There is no competition when you're doing something for its own sake. I'm really happy with my new kitchen, but I felt just as happy and fulfilled, maybe even moreso, baking my first bread in a horrible ineffective mini toaster oven. Goals are perfect for what they're intended for: Achieving something you set out to do. But they don't fix our holes, they just prop up new ones. They can suck us in, make us anxious, inferior even. It's not easy growing up in a world where for literally anything you can think of, someone out there has done it better, much earlier than you, looking better while doing it. Of course that's not true, but that's the feeling many a aspiring pianist is left with when watching some 9 year old chinese kid run circles around his skills. I think a passion can fill a hole, if you find meaning in it. One passion almost any human shares with another is just watching nature. Few people don't seem awed by a beautiful sunset or grass in the wind, but I fear the number is increasing. Still, that doesn't take away any of my enjoyment from the small things in life.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2019

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