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What do you want out of life?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Dekker, Nov 20, 2019.

  1. yung.carl.jung

    yung.carl.jung Hey Bird! I'm Morose & Lugubrious

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    I'm brimming with this so here's another weird analogy: I know a great deal of older men that like to go fishing. They often don't really catch anything, and really don't care about catching the big ones, or bringing anything home. There is a whole array of motivations one might come up with. You could say it's just a bunch of men trying to get away from their wives. Or stressed out workers escaping the city life to find peace in nature. Or repressed patriarchs who need an excuse to spend some quality time and talk real with their friends. While these might all simultaneously be true to some extent, I don't think that's the reason. I think it's much easier. They just love fishing, and everything involved: Long periods of silence, the sound of the water, sitting in chairs occasionally sipping on a drink, the patience involved, the skill in throwing out a rod, the crafting and experimenting with various baits and so forth. It's the whole experience. It sounds silly to say people go fishing just to have silence, or to sit in uncomfortable plastic chairs, but it's all part of it. It shapes the experience. In life it is as with fishing: You just throw out the bait and sit back. You're not here for the fish, but to fish. Having the shiniest bait or the best technique may be helpful, but it doesn't guarantee anything will bite. The waters are chaotic, and so are the laws of attraction. Both between humans and between us and anything else. Things unfold at spectacular pace, chain reactions, causal chains, yet barely visible for fisherman looking into what seems like clear, still waters. Often we only grasp in retrospect what really happened with us and the world. As things unfold utterly irrespective of us in ways we cannot understand, we just have to flow along and notice when something bites.
     
  2. MaryKB

    MaryKB Deity Supporter

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    I think that sounds similar to when I go to the spa or have a massage ... I'm not so concerned with the results, but rather just enjoying the experience for the sake of it, right?

    Speaking of which, I have my next massage on Tuesday. I've upgraded to a 90 minute hot stone massage, which normally costs $115, but since I'm a member at the yoga club I get 20% off :queen:
     
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  3. Birdjaguar

    Birdjaguar Hanafubuki Retired Moderator Supporter

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    All of those first reasons are true and the set of second ones are just a context for the first. You should have mentioned beer specifically as part of the equation. I'm not a fisherman, but know a bunch. If I were a fisherman, I would use it as a pretext: Hmmm...I haven't caught a fish from that brook in Tibet; maybe I should go there to see if they eat worms.
     
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  4. Synsensa

    Synsensa - Retired Moderator

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    This reminds me of a character in Wild District. She shared a story about how she told her parents as a child that she enjoyed swimming, so they forced her to join the competitive team even though she wasn't great at it. They made her do it for years and years and were bewildered why she was unhappy. She was there to swim, not to win at something. The moral was different in the show, as the context was the story recipient allowing corrupt things to happen all in the name of victory, but it's a similar sentiment, I think. Sometimes it's enough to just do something you want to do without concern of an end goal.
     
  5. Phrossack

    Phrossack Armored Fish and Armored Men

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    I truly don't believe it's possible for me to make any significant, positive difference in the world, and I'd be completely unsatisfied with anything less.

    My other goals - finding someone, living in a nice, semi-wilderness area, having a meaningful career, and being safe from political and climate chaos - are likewise impossible and absurd fantasies. That leaves me with nothing. If I can never have what I want, why bother doing anything more than the bare minimum?
     
  6. Birdjaguar

    Birdjaguar Hanafubuki Retired Moderator Supporter

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    Meaningful careers in rural areas is now more possible than ever before (with infrastructure).

    Begin with one thing at a time:
    • Find a place
    • Find a person
    • Find work
    It doesn't matter which one you start with. If you insist on making a significant, positive difference in the world, then seek work and people at places like the Gates Foundation, et al; those who do work that makes a significant, positive difference in the world. If you are unprepared to do work at such places, improve your skills so you can. Take small steps, one at a time, in the direction you want to go.
     
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  7. Kyriakos

    Kyriakos Alien spiral maker

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    Well, most people seem to think they make a difference by having children.
    Ultimately, the current situation isn't the end-state of human civilization. It is, however, interesting that already there is a growing sentiment that the planet is irreversibly damaged; no such thing 100 years ago, when the entire global population was 2 billion.
     
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  8. Hygro

    Hygro soundcloud.com/hygro/

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    We decided we will try some cactus so we spent the day putting it together for tomorrow. The preparation was an adventure, finding out cactus, chopping it down, removing the needles, cutting it and transporting it in backpacks up a cliff path. Whole time I’m walking around with a sword length machete unsheathed :D

    We had to borrow a blender, blended it up figuring out how with a janky blender, watching it oxidize from white and green to red and black.

    Tomorrow we drink 2 liters apiece, probably 3 with a mixer. It’s going to be gross.

    It was so much fun. And it was work. I would live it all again and again, and we haven’t even enjoyed the payoff.


    ****


    Yesterday we went 10 miles north or so. $20 taxi drive round trip really fast. Instead we negotiated $60 for a boat to take us, tons of delays, uncertainties, etc, with a gnarly landing experience where the boat captain slowly backed the boat onto the beach massaging the effort with the waves as they crashed us around.

    To return we had to wave him back to shore where we had to wade out into the ocean with all our gear at 4pm (we negotiated for 6).

    The taxi would have been cheaper, less socially scary to find random fishermen to set up a price, would have left on time and allowed us to return later.

    I would live yesterday over forever as well.



    *****


    Getting an idea in your mind where it would be “cool if” and then following through against all discomforts is the way to live.

    I am happy.
     
  9. Dekker

    Dekker Prince

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    I don't know anything about you or your situation, health, or circumstances so my reply here is based just on the two posts in this thread.

    For making a difference, what are examples of people who made a difference? Are you expecting to be Thomas Edison or Abraham Lincoln? Is the difference a doctor makes not enough? A volunteer worker? A writer who influences the thinking and personal growth of a few or many readers? Aid workers? If those sorts of things are enough, then are they all out of reach?

    I made a thread asking how we can make a difference and got many great ideas, do these things not count enough? If not, is the issue perhaps more of having unrealistic expectations of yourself? And then how come you have such lofty goals? They would be fine if you chased them, but if they just make you more depressed, perhaps they are not great goals to have.

    See yungs posts, he seems like a guy who can possibly do big things, but even if he doesn't, it sounds like he truly Enjoys life, knowing all the things you know about it. Now like I said circumstances I'm sure are very different, but perspective is important as well. I know that's a lot to say to someone especially if they had challenges with physical or mental health, however it helps those that do as well. I definitely look at the world like you do (thinking we're doomed) buuuuut why let that ruin everything before it's actually ruined? And again as bad as things seem to get, climate concerns aside, things still just keep getting better for the majority of people. When first worlders largely complain that SJWs or radical feminists are amongst the biggest problems we face, then we really don't have it that bad. And we are not going to really deal with the worst of the climate issues in our lifetime, so while important to empathize and be safe for those who will be affected and future generations, why let that sadness consume our lives?

    Meaningful career is tough, mostly the lucky find that most will have to settle paying the bills, but meaningful passions, hobbies, volunteer work, is that not in reach either? I personally have no idea what I'm passionate about, so I relate, but that's not because there isn't meaningful things that we can do out there.

    The political chaos won't impact most people, the poor, those with health challenges, certain relations with certain people, sure, but other than the respectability of the system, the system isn't going to fully crash and burn. Sure the rich and corrupt with get richer and more corrupt, but it's not actuallllly going to go fascist and if it does, well we can all take arms up against it and that will solve the making a difference question.

    Finding someone, super tough I get it, but I would say this is tied up in everything else. I knew I'd never even want to be someone when I was feeling a similar state to you, and people can tell when we are there, and it's a wall. But if you forget finding someone and focus on the other things, you may be surprised who you might stumble across.

    But I'm sure you've heard all this before, and I'm no stranger to a similar perspective, which is why I start these threads, because then I get inspired by the yungs and hobby's and ElMacs and hygros and downtown's and Tims etc. that remind me that, for us first worlders life really isn't that bad and you can really make your own meaning and mark on it.
     
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  10. Dekker

    Dekker Prince

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    Amazing stories! Thanks for sharing, I love hearing how others find these kind of ways to truly enjoy life. Very inspiring.
     
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  11. Lemon Merchant

    Lemon Merchant Superconductor Moderator

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    What do I want from life? Someone to love who won't get killed or die by suicide. That's all I ask. Is it too much?
     
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  12. Hygro

    Hygro soundcloud.com/hygro/

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    Thanks!

    I was living the opposite from around 25-31. Computers are nice if you’re too busy to use them but otherwise they will drive your depression. Ideas are good if you live them out loud. Nothing sounds that good on paper if you keep thinking about it; if you’re tired you won’t have fun until you exercise away the tired. But if you have a thought and you see it through and do it again and again, your energy returns and your passion comes back and you have lots of fun.

    ***

    I was thinking yesterday like what would I do if I was rich. Well the great thing about being rich is not that you get to quit work, it’s that you can do better work.

    I hated all things work as a kid. I didn’t even like building legos until I was like 8 or 9, I just wanted to play with them.

    But all good things come from work. Energy, pride, games, all sorts of opportunities to play and explore. Like if I want to smoke a joint, which I don’t much anymore, but if I did, if I cleaned my room first my mind would be more organized and that joint would get me way higher.
     
  13. Dekker

    Dekker Prince

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    If from personal experience then I'm sorry that happened.

    I hope you find someone, wish you the best!
     
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  14. bernie14

    bernie14 Filter Manipulator

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    Guess there are two ways to look at it. What do you want out of life and what you don't want out of life. I know a guy who was really happy and got struck by lightning. He was revived and spent a couple of months rehabilitating...within a week back at work (he was a mailman), he was struck by lightning again. What are the odds. Happened over 40 years ago, but he won't leave his house if it is raining. He just doesn't want to get hit by lightning. ...
     
  15. yung.carl.jung

    yung.carl.jung Hey Bird! I'm Morose & Lugubrious

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    I, too, very much enjoy being kneaded like a good sourdough. I've upgraded to a violent Thai-massage from my regular one and it's all the more fun :lol:

    It might be too much to ask for someone who loves you unconditionally, it's never too much to ask for someone to love, like you did. I wish you the best :)

    Exactly what I meant, yeah

    oh boy. I got one growing in my living room right now. it's a real deal San Pedro and it looks mesmerizing. can't wait to give that boy a chomp. I'd love to do peyote, too, at some point, but they're not easy to get.

    I share a lot of your feelings about how to live life, I had the best of times when I was a teen bouncing around late-night bolivia pretending to be 18, or when I was travelling through Europe without any place to stay, just crashing on various sofas, billiard tables and hardwood dining tables. Especially in todays society if I don't sometimes display what I've lately been calling radical freedom, I'll just go coo coo. it's been incredibly difficult for me to both stay spontaneous and open for everything and manage two jobs, university and a long-term relationship, maybe I'm due for a wild ride soon.

    Well, the first set of reasons are "motivations", the second are different. Motivations make us do one thing over another, but they don't give us fulfillment nor meaning, that's what I was getting at. Though in my case most of the fishermen I know don't really drink and love their wives. For them it's not so much escapism, at least I reckon. I like to think of the second reasons as more than mere context. If you single them out they appear to be just that, but taken all together they are the experience. Reading a book simply cannot be removed to grasping the contents of its pages, because then an audiobook would be the same as a website, would be the same as a leather-bound tome. The difference between these experiences however is imo not just contextual, not just superficial, it's pretty profound. If I'm being honest, I would hardly even call reading a text on your browser on your cellphone "reading" at all, not in the classical sense. It's so wildly different might as well be a different activity.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2019
  16. Farm Boy

    Farm Boy The trees are actually quite lovely.

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    I know some pretty cool cats(well, I think they're cool. They'd probably be tornado yokels or something for dillweed media) that live on country lots in IL. Some of them rent, one of them has an affordable mobile up on a permanent foundation. Satellite internet isn't particularly cheap and the ping stinks, but the bandwidth is acceptable. One could work for the department of Ag. Heck, even just passing the Restricted Use Chemicals Applicator Commercial license, then being good at what you do - reduces unneccessary over application. Positive differences in the world are big and small, and the lions share are not respected by society or particularly sexy. Some of them are just cold and hard and windy. But they're still positive.


    No.
     
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  17. civvver

    civvver Deity

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    The only recognition I want is more zeros on the end of my pay.
     
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  18. Terxpahseyton

    Terxpahseyton How much Parmesan to put on your umbrella?

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    So you got an ego-ideal you believe can not achieve, and hence choose self-pity. But you can also just change your ego-ideal, because that is not set in stone, and if trapped in a self-pity hole, that is perhaps the most effective route towards change. It comes down to checking and reconsidering the assumptions which make your frame. And you need one, which brings you to the moment and makes you do things. Which gives you energy, makes you stronger. Which works. You have one which seems to not work. That is a choice. You just need to realize this.

    I sound like a motivational couch. Embarrassing. But that is just psychology 101, really. That is the reason therapy can actually work.
     
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  19. Synsensa

    Synsensa - Retired Moderator

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    /r/thanksimcured
     
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  20. Hygro

    Hygro soundcloud.com/hygro/

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    not doing it is a guaranteed non-cure.
     
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