What Every Man Should Know

[classical_hero]

Every man needs to know how to put on a tie, and not one of those clip one either.

 

[Grisu]

err why? I happen to know it since I worked for a bank for a year, but why should the average male need to know that?

I used that knowledge once during the last 12 years (at my wedding) and I'm sure I could have found somebody to tie it for me

 

[downtown]

Because the average man wears a tie more often than once every 5 years. You haven't had to look nice for something for wedding?

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

• Treat a lady like a lady - Because, dammit, that's how mom raised me and nothing my mom taught me can be wrong
• Tying in with the above for intimate moments, pleasure a woman properly - Because if you can't nom nom right, you're better off just staying at the bar.

9) How to please a woman.

#) Providing for your woman is your first and foremost responsibility, and if you fail to do so you fail as a man.

how to seduce a woman

Where a woman's clitorus is.

Or - to be fully inclusive - the same for a man, if that is what you are into.

Honestly, though, I would imagine it's a lot easier and more straightforward for a man to figure out how to please another man than to please a woman.

 

[ParadigmShifter]

Huh? Just buy them a pair of shoes.

EDIT: And always agree with everything they say, but that's obvious.

 

[warpus]

5) properly throw a football

I think you mean:

5) properly kick a football

that's all I got.

 

[really]

Know how to assemble flat pack furniture.

 

[duckstab]

- know how to play Texas Hold'Em. Men play poker when they're bored, Texas poker is the manliest poker there is.
- how to shoot a gun properly, at least a pistol. If you can't cap a rattlesnake from 20 feet then gtfo.

Nice try. Texas Hold'em and shooting creatures for sport are manly in the same way that the cowboys in "Brokeback Mountain" were manly... If you can't explain the rules of a poker game in 30 seconds then it's a girly game. 5-card stud, nothing wild, is the only game for a man.

Also, every man should know how to make a proper martini. Hint: if you follow James Bond's recipe you're doing almost everything wrong. For one thing, real men never drink vodka except out of desperation. Like when they're stuck at a Russian army base outside of Yakutsk and they've already drunk all the antifreeze.

 

[MjM]

• Tying in with the above for intimate moments, pleasure a woman properly - Because if you can't nom nom right, you're better off just staying at the bar.

If anything, just that last one. That is what makes a man a man in the first place...

 

[Cutlass]

Have a good handshake. No limp noodly stuff or knuckle chunchers.

 

[Murky]

How to get dressed up for a job interview.

 

[Communisto]

Jump without looking like a dingus

 

[warpus]

- how to use apostrophes properly
- how to cook
- basic survival/camping skills
- basic social interaction skills (e.g. saying "you're welcome" after a "thank you")
- who you are and what makes you tick

 

[ArneHD]

The truth.

 

[Grisu]

Because the average man wears a tie more often than once every 5 years. You haven't had to look nice for something for wedding?

In america, I guess

but I did say that the only time I put on a tie was for my wedding, no? Apart from that it was never required, not for the job, not for weddings or whatnot. Of course, most people here don't define 'looking nice' to be equal to suit and tie

 

[Virote_Considon]

Notch up another repeat of what Kipling said.

Yeah, real men need to know the White Man's Burden!

()

Or - to be fully inclusive - the same for a man, if that is what you are into.

• To not be gay. Real men like women!

Also, another one, since we already have throw kick a football,

• Every man should know how to throw a rugby ball.

 

[warpus]

real men like whatever the hell they want

 

[Mango Elephant]

Have a good handshake. No limp noodly stuff or knuckle chunchers.

8) Sports, just sports.

These two are about the only ones.

 

[W|M]

for one thing, real men never drink vodka except out of desperation. Like when they're stuck at a russian army base outside of yakutsk and they've already drunk all the antifreeze.

YOU'RE NOT A REAL MAN! REAL MEN DRINK VODKA!

-DRINK VODKA
-PLAY FOOTBALL WELL
-PLAY RUGBY WELL
-CLIMB MOUNTAINS
-HAVE VERY BAD PERSONAL HYGIENE
-BONE WOMEN TWICE A DAY

(caps)

 

[Mango Elephant]

-PLAY RUGBY WELL