Altered Maps X: Ten Time's a Altered Map

[RedRalph]

While researching for Victoria II I discovered there are a really, really small pool of Russian men's names.

 

[hoplitejoe]

We need a map of North American baby names.

 

[Civ'ed]

Cletus?

 

[Tee Kay]

Nice, hoplite

 

[hoplitejoe]

I found it on imgur, it was just to perfect

 

[choxorn]

 

[Theige]

Hah. The Lucas Empire is contiguous

Except for Norway

 

[G-Max]

 

[hoplitejoe]

It almost looks Roman.

 

[Tee Kay]

"Parthian" is a bit of a clue there.

 

[hoplitejoe]

"Parthian" is a bit of a clue there.

Then please excuse my ignorance of Iranian history.

 

[G-Max]

The Parthian Empire (which grew from the ashes of the Seleucid Empire, which grew from the ashes of the Macedonian Empire, which...) was the main rival of the Roman Empire at the peak of its power. The Romans briefly captured Mesopotamia from them for like 2 years before deciding that Babylon had basically become a crap hole and wasn't worth keeping.

Also, have you heard of Google or Wikipedia?

 

[Dachs]

the Seleucid Empire, which grew from the ashes of the Macedonian Empire

/me mumbles about how this isn't really an appropriate metaphor

 

[G-Max]

Okay, fine... it was the biggest of the piles of ash that the Macedonian empire became. Are you happy now?

 

[hoplitejoe]

Also, have you heard of Google or Wikipedia?

Yes I have, in fact I googled it straight after it was brought up.
Thanks for your (kinda redundant) summary anyway though.

 

[Dachs]

Okay, fine... it was the biggest of the piles of ash that the Macedonian empire became. Are you happy now?

Less. Mostly because this is the subject we last had an argument about, and I expect you to frame things better. I wouldn't have cared if it was a joke, but since you responded to what I said I have to assume you think it's srs bzns.

 

[G-Max]

It wasn't "srs bzns" until you started complaining about my choice of metaphor.

 

[Omega124]

Jesusland- Possibly a new forum game.



Here is a map I made filled up of the common Jesusland meme. Red is Jesusland, Blue is United States of Canada. But unlike most maps, I have a background

It was November 6, 2012 AD. Obama has retained his seat of power, much to the dismay of Tea Partiers. In Crawford, enough was enough for them. "The Liberty Crosses", a libertarian, fundamentalist terrorist group, was formed, and went into an open revolt against the government. Cells all around the Deep South and Great Plains were established. The Second American Civil War has begun. NATO did nothing, stating "We're tired of America being the world police. It can go solve its own problem".

By 2013, The Liberty Crosses had de facto control of the Deep South. To Celebrate the 4th of July, they started bombarding D.C., with cries of "Get out Islamic Nazi Socialists". After 4 intense months of fighting, the last US brigade, along with the President, fled the ruined city, and any hopes of a Federal victory seemed gone.

Resistance in the Northeast and West Coast, however, stayed strong. But with their backs against the walls, it seemed only a matter of time before they fell. Ohio and Indiana were taken entirely, and in Illinois the remaining US forces tried everything to prevent the LC getting into Chicago, barely succeeding (Thus the city was surprisingly saved from the destruction that ravaged the countryland around it. In the Western Front, the control of Nevada (Except for the City of Las Vegas and the Strip, who the LC avoided due to the "sinfulness") was lost, but a independent liberal militia strike on Idaho got them the state.

Talks between America and Canada about the latter's intervention grew more intense. The Amazing display of the remaining holdouts convinced Canada to intervene, but in an unorthodox way. On March 12, 2015, it was announced the lands still controlled by the government and Canada would join under a union called "The United States of Canada". After this news, the rebels declared their territory to be henceforth "Jesusland" on April 19, 2015. On July 22, 2016, a ceasefire agreement between USC and Jesusland was created, and the Civil War ended.

During the peace time, Jesusland went through change. The country, based off the Articles of confederation, grew to become a Protestant Theocracy, with Catholics, Muslims, Jews, and Gays being thrown out, jailed, or even killed. Meanwhile, in the United States of Canada, drug liberalization happened and a more socialist economy started growing. Both countries despised each other greatly, considering the other backwards barbarians. But they coped with it.

That is, until noontime of January 13, 2023 (Friday the 13th...). The citizens of Chicago were at work or school. A weird buzzing noise could be heard, but no one knew exactly what it was. But then a bunch of Tomahawk missiles slammed down, unprejudiced where they hit. Hundreds were killed or injured. Jesusland troops started marching towards the city..."

It would be similar to LH's game "American Uprising", but set in Chicago and with stereotyped factions. Or I could do something more like "War to End all Wars", but I found that uneedlessly complex. Or I could do something similar to the board game Fortress America, but with my own twists, such as multiple generals for each country and slightly revamped combat...

But I bet you didn't care about the previous paragraph. So here's your map and story.

-Credit goes to ZomgK3tchup of the Paradox Forums for the orgional idea. In fact, I even used his map's borders for mine. But the plot is 100% mine, and the map was made filled up by me-

 

[Lord of Elves]

I... What. Why.

 

[Omega124]

I...

Yes?

What.

I think you know.

Why.

Because I can, that's why!

EDIT: I just realized I colored part of Navada blue. That would actually somewhat fit the story if it was the southern section, but alas, it was the eastern.