cgannon64
BOB DYLAN'S ROCKIN OUT!
Murielweiser: Come on...your posts are on average 4 minutes apart...I think that qualifies as spam! 
CG
CG
Civ3 Limericks
- Thread starter SirJethro
- Start date
Sultan Bhargash
Trickster Reincarnated
Cgannon complains about spam,
I wonder why he gives a damn -
He's concerned about thread time
But up past his bed time
And trying to get as much CFC as he can!
I wonder why he gives a damn -
He's concerned about thread time
But up past his bed time
And trying to get as much CFC as he can!
Sultan Bhargash
Trickster Reincarnated
Now I don't mean to hog the stage,
But I'm now in a bit of a rage,
Nobody has posted
And this thread had coasted
Right down to the end of the front page!
But I'm now in a bit of a rage,
Nobody has posted
And this thread had coasted
Right down to the end of the front page!
Lt. 'Killer' M.
Deity
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2001
- Messages
- 7,475
Sultan is worried about this thread?
I don't think he has reason to sweat!
There's always me
and if i am free
I'll rhyme a lim'rick before bed!
I don't think he has reason to sweat!
There's always me
and if i am free
I'll rhyme a lim'rick before bed!
Four Four Seven
Spearman
Multiplayer technology?
Firaxis owes me an apology
Until they take out each bug
I'll say with a shrug
"Let's go play Age of Mythology"
Firaxis owes me an apology
Until they take out each bug
I'll say with a shrug
"Let's go play Age of Mythology"
I was at Amazon.com, what the hey..
With my hand in my wallet's cache
PTW or Mac Civ?
What flaws could I forgive?
Microsoft took my money today!
So now I'll play Civ on my Mac
Though Vikings and Arabs I'll lack
I can hope, beg, and pray
(Though Brad O. says no way)
I'll soon have my Beserker doom stack
and BTW;
The Sultan, it seems, jumped the gun
And figured this sweet thread was done
Although I may slack
I'll always come back
Like a respawned civilization
With my hand in my wallet's cache
PTW or Mac Civ?
What flaws could I forgive?
Microsoft took my money today!
So now I'll play Civ on my Mac
Though Vikings and Arabs I'll lack
I can hope, beg, and pray
(Though Brad O. says no way)
I'll soon have my Beserker doom stack
and BTW;
The Sultan, it seems, jumped the gun
And figured this sweet thread was done
Although I may slack
I'll always come back
Like a respawned civilization
Sultan Bhargash
Trickster Reincarnated
good job 447, raijer, Lt.
Wonder whatever happened to Jethro...
Wonder whatever happened to Jethro...
Aluan
Chieftain
Learning Civ3:
"Warlord", "regent", "emperor" I mocked,
Chose "Deity" and was right away shocked:
Thirty units they had,
I thought "This is bad!"
And back down to Chieftain I was knocked.
Often go I CFC to read,
For advice my lousy game needs:
"Don't always irrigate,
don't built temples too late,
or else you'll slowly get beat."
(Actually I've gotten to the point where Emperor and below is really easy, but Deity is close to impossibly hard, barring a good start. And sorry for the quality of these Limericks; I didn't realize (actually I did, but forgot) how much work is involved in creating them.
)
"Warlord", "regent", "emperor" I mocked,
Chose "Deity" and was right away shocked:
Thirty units they had,
I thought "This is bad!"
And back down to Chieftain I was knocked.
Often go I CFC to read,
For advice my lousy game needs:
"Don't always irrigate,
don't built temples too late,
or else you'll slowly get beat."
(Actually I've gotten to the point where Emperor and below is really easy, but Deity is close to impossibly hard, barring a good start. And sorry for the quality of these Limericks; I didn't realize (actually I did, but forgot) how much work is involved in creating them.
)Sultan Bhargash
Trickster Reincarnated
Welcome to CFC Aluan,
What took you so long to get thru? and
Your skills at Civ3
Are much better than me
Posting, not playing, is what I've been doing...
Seriously nice to debut in this thread! Welcome!
What took you so long to get thru? and
Your skills at Civ3
Are much better than me
Posting, not playing, is what I've been doing...
Seriously nice to debut in this thread! Welcome!
Pillager
League of Empire Loyalist
Don't worry fans, I am back,
To bring the lim'rick that this thread doth lack,
Now I am here,
You can all give a cheer,
If you don't, I'll give you a good smack.
To bring the lim'rick that this thread doth lack,
Now I am here,
You can all give a cheer,
If you don't, I'll give you a good smack.
SirJethro
Paterfamilias
Limericks, limericks, I some new limericks
I'm all out of rhymes, and all out of tricks.
But Bhargash will taunt,
And Killer will flaunt,
That I'm no funnier than that Jackass flick.
But I'll try, I'll try, oh lordy I'll try;
I love these things like the Sultan loves Pie.
Here comes my first shot,
Whether you like it or not,
The time for my return is nigh.
There once was a gamer from Nantucket
Who prefered his Cavs to his Muskets.
But when he lost his last horses,
And most of his forces,
He restarted the game and said: "
it!".
I'm all out of rhymes, and all out of tricks.
But Bhargash will taunt,
And Killer will flaunt,
That I'm no funnier than that Jackass flick.
But I'll try, I'll try, oh lordy I'll try;
I love these things like the Sultan loves Pie.
Here comes my first shot,
Whether you like it or not,
The time for my return is nigh.
There once was a gamer from Nantucket
Who prefered his Cavs to his Muskets.
But when he lost his last horses,
And most of his forces,
He restarted the game and said: "
it!".
Lt. 'Killer' M.
Deity
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2001
- Messages
- 7,475
I ahd to print a HUGE file today, 4 by 7.5 feet, and transfering it from the PC to the printer took 6 hours (printing took 3 minutes ). During that time I wrote the following poem:
Here I sit and wait for the printer to work
and then I realize that I am a jerk!
Instead of sittin' and waitin' all time
I should better think instead of a rhyme
to post it then later on a certain website
where all the other posters rhyme alright
about nations and wars and loading again
to land a game in the Hall of Fame.
13% the printer has now
I start a game - without any cow.
How boring to play, no early foray
my forces too weak, the empire to meek.
17 does the window show
I restart and the new position's 'just so'
no river in sight but a wheat and some dye
but what mysterious lands do there lie
across those mountains, beyond my sight?
I don't have scout - it will be a plight
to search all the tiles that I cannot see
away from my capital down to the sea!
19 % - Oh God! I'm alone!
Stranded on an island, lonely on my throne!
Control-Shift-Q it now is again
then restart, this time a pangaea game!
A fifth of the file has now been transferred
but the map generator seems not to have heard
my pleadings and prayers for a nice map:
in the mountains I start on a tiny gap
between two jungles without even dyes!
Whatever beyond these vast jungles lies
my units won't see it with their eyes!
Control and Q and my empire dies......
Some Kilobytes later I finally get
a starting position that is not bad!
Several bonus-grasslands do show
along with some game and also a cow
'A river runs through' it down to the ocean
I found my city, set the scout in motion
to find that the place also does keep
the promise of forests easy to reap
to speed the production of barracks and troops
so I can attack my neigbours and coup
a 'Warrior Rush' so sweet to behold
soon, soon before the night is old.
I order the barracks and set up the plan:
go scouting all over and then, and then
hit them faster than lightning and harder than steel
'glourious victory' - I known the feel!
But as the printer reaches thirty I feel it within
this will not be working, it would be a sin
to send vet'ran warriors into a fight
with Graecias Hoplites - too sturdy a might.
33 it is now and no victim here
aside from the Greek that I do fear
just desert and jungle and a mirror mere.
I give it up and go for a beer.
Somewhat relaxed I return to the game
to start again and now get the fame
of a deity OCC challange won
as 39 % of the file are gone.
Alas luck is fickle and just as I start
my boss comes in - I quickly dart
for Alt-Tab to hide the secret I keep:
I'm a civ addict, reason to weep!
But hurry is never a good idea
especially after three bottles of beer
I miss-click and gone is my excellent city
of Thebes (with Pyramids) - what a pity!
Half of the file has reached ist destination
I restart, this time with my favorite nation:
Bismarck of Germany will rule the world
panzers with banner of blue unfurled
shall speed across the fields so green
for fight and victory ever so keen!
This time it WILL work and I will prevail
in my quest for PtWs holy grail
a conquest victory so i can show
my warmongers qualities on the go.
Cattle and iron and whales for a start,
this way expansion is not an art!
Indeed as the window's about to show 60
the puny Aztecs, whatever their tricks be,
will feel my power in culture and arms
my Pikemen their Warriors cannot do harms!
Soon they all fall to my elite Horsemens lances
on Egyt then fall my hungry glances.
They built me two wonders â?? to considerate
what they spent on construction ! Now it's too late!
Training the troops it should have been
their workers now dig a road to Berlin!
But lo! there is trouble brewing in the east
and pesky grey Pikemen interrupt the feast
I held to celebrate 80 on the screen
and taking five slaves and some gold to Berlin!
Ghandi the peacefull - oh how untrue
the sneaky attack was just about due!
He's greedy, he's pesky, he's powerfull now
so quickly I order my Horesmen to go
into the cities and get a new harnish
without which they probably would just win 'gornischt'
Deep into my pockets I have now to reach
udgrades are expensive, 40 gold for each!
But then as the printer begins to hum
my troops start to march to the sound of the drum
take Dehli and Sparta and Hyderabad
I can now hear voices saying 'What?
Sparta a town in Ghandi's empire?
This German general must be a liar!'
But indeed it is true that grey troops took the town
(that is why Alex wears a steady frown)
before I got there to help him defend it.
My power - for now to him I will lend it.
As the first centimeter of the poster rolls out
Ghandis iron is cut by a Scout!
Who's fighting there validly on my side?
It is dear Abraham, he battles all night!
He's under pressure from left and right,
Elizabeth's also after his hide,
pillaging, bombarding, razing his towns,
now wonder like Alex Abraham frowns.
I quickly decide to do a big sweep
across all these lands, to take and to keep
as much of the territory as I now can,
rest, regroup, advance again
and cleanse the world of warlike empires
except for mine they'll go to the pyres.
Quite a bit of the poster's been printer
and as I have earlier hinted
I now own all of India and some of France
which i capture by culture - lucky chance!
Soon Lizzy kills Joanie and Abraham dear
now only orange soldiers I fear!
But Cavalry cuts through the Pikemen defence
no Bowman, no Horseman can Stopp my advance.
10% later I stumble across
my warlike neighbors Lizzies boss
Cathy it was who made her attack
now it is time for some pay-back!
As the last of the many hundreds of lines
slips from the printer I capture Rheims.
Now hiding no runnign has helped her survive
our dear Cathy's no longer alive!
'100' the status of printing is now
for the file I printed and now I can go
and celebrate over ten times that number
on the histograph just before I slumber.
). During that time I wrote the following poem:Here I sit and wait for the printer to work
and then I realize that I am a jerk!
Instead of sittin' and waitin' all time
I should better think instead of a rhyme
to post it then later on a certain website
where all the other posters rhyme alright
about nations and wars and loading again
to land a game in the Hall of Fame.
13% the printer has now
I start a game - without any cow.
How boring to play, no early foray
my forces too weak, the empire to meek.
17 does the window show
I restart and the new position's 'just so'
no river in sight but a wheat and some dye
but what mysterious lands do there lie
across those mountains, beyond my sight?
I don't have scout - it will be a plight
to search all the tiles that I cannot see
away from my capital down to the sea!
19 % - Oh God! I'm alone!
Stranded on an island, lonely on my throne!
Control-Shift-Q it now is again
then restart, this time a pangaea game!
A fifth of the file has now been transferred
but the map generator seems not to have heard
my pleadings and prayers for a nice map:
in the mountains I start on a tiny gap
between two jungles without even dyes!
Whatever beyond these vast jungles lies
my units won't see it with their eyes!
Control and Q and my empire dies......
Some Kilobytes later I finally get
a starting position that is not bad!
Several bonus-grasslands do show
along with some game and also a cow
'A river runs through' it down to the ocean
I found my city, set the scout in motion
to find that the place also does keep
the promise of forests easy to reap
to speed the production of barracks and troops
so I can attack my neigbours and coup
a 'Warrior Rush' so sweet to behold
soon, soon before the night is old.
I order the barracks and set up the plan:
go scouting all over and then, and then
hit them faster than lightning and harder than steel
'glourious victory' - I known the feel!
But as the printer reaches thirty I feel it within
this will not be working, it would be a sin
to send vet'ran warriors into a fight
with Graecias Hoplites - too sturdy a might.
33 it is now and no victim here
aside from the Greek that I do fear
just desert and jungle and a mirror mere.
I give it up and go for a beer.
Somewhat relaxed I return to the game
to start again and now get the fame
of a deity OCC challange won
as 39 % of the file are gone.
Alas luck is fickle and just as I start
my boss comes in - I quickly dart
for Alt-Tab to hide the secret I keep:
I'm a civ addict, reason to weep!
But hurry is never a good idea
especially after three bottles of beer
I miss-click and gone is my excellent city
of Thebes (with Pyramids) - what a pity!
Half of the file has reached ist destination
I restart, this time with my favorite nation:
Bismarck of Germany will rule the world
panzers with banner of blue unfurled
shall speed across the fields so green
for fight and victory ever so keen!
This time it WILL work and I will prevail
in my quest for PtWs holy grail
a conquest victory so i can show
my warmongers qualities on the go.
Cattle and iron and whales for a start,
this way expansion is not an art!
Indeed as the window's about to show 60
the puny Aztecs, whatever their tricks be,
will feel my power in culture and arms
my Pikemen their Warriors cannot do harms!
Soon they all fall to my elite Horsemens lances
on Egyt then fall my hungry glances.
They built me two wonders â?? to considerate
what they spent on construction ! Now it's too late!
Training the troops it should have been
their workers now dig a road to Berlin!
But lo! there is trouble brewing in the east
and pesky grey Pikemen interrupt the feast
I held to celebrate 80 on the screen
and taking five slaves and some gold to Berlin!
Ghandi the peacefull - oh how untrue
the sneaky attack was just about due!
He's greedy, he's pesky, he's powerfull now
so quickly I order my Horesmen to go
into the cities and get a new harnish
without which they probably would just win 'gornischt'
Deep into my pockets I have now to reach
udgrades are expensive, 40 gold for each!
But then as the printer begins to hum
my troops start to march to the sound of the drum
take Dehli and Sparta and Hyderabad
I can now hear voices saying 'What?
Sparta a town in Ghandi's empire?
This German general must be a liar!'
But indeed it is true that grey troops took the town
(that is why Alex wears a steady frown)
before I got there to help him defend it.
My power - for now to him I will lend it.
As the first centimeter of the poster rolls out
Ghandis iron is cut by a Scout!
Who's fighting there validly on my side?
It is dear Abraham, he battles all night!
He's under pressure from left and right,
Elizabeth's also after his hide,
pillaging, bombarding, razing his towns,
now wonder like Alex Abraham frowns.
I quickly decide to do a big sweep
across all these lands, to take and to keep
as much of the territory as I now can,
rest, regroup, advance again
and cleanse the world of warlike empires
except for mine they'll go to the pyres.
Quite a bit of the poster's been printer
and as I have earlier hinted
I now own all of India and some of France
which i capture by culture - lucky chance!
Soon Lizzy kills Joanie and Abraham dear
now only orange soldiers I fear!
But Cavalry cuts through the Pikemen defence
no Bowman, no Horseman can Stopp my advance.
10% later I stumble across
my warlike neighbors Lizzies boss
Cathy it was who made her attack
now it is time for some pay-back!
As the last of the many hundreds of lines
slips from the printer I capture Rheims.
Now hiding no runnign has helped her survive
our dear Cathy's no longer alive!
'100' the status of printing is now
for the file I printed and now I can go
and celebrate over ten times that number
on the histograph just before I slumber.
Sultan Bhargash
Trickster Reincarnated
Whoa!!!! Killer, I don't mean to be nitpicky, but that one belongs in the thread "Post your Civ3 Epic Sagas Here"!
BTW what does â mean?
I find it hard to resist the urge to post compliments after each post here... so hurray for the return of Pillager and Sir Jethro as well. I won't sully the mood by trying to throw my own limerick just now. Need time to absorb Killer's creation...
BTW what does â mean?I find it hard to resist the urge to post compliments after each post here... so hurray for the return of Pillager and Sir Jethro as well. I won't sully the mood by trying to throw my own limerick just now. Need time to absorb Killer's creation...
Lt. 'Killer' M.
Deity
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2001
- Messages
- 7,475
it means '
typed it in word - bad mistake!
typed it in word - bad mistake!
Sultan Bhargash
Trickster Reincarnated
(I had actually guessed from context clues and was just ribbing you).If I get a chance before I go on vacation I am going to post a new thread of Civ3 poetry* and I would love you to reinsert this there.
*(any form, but especially I would love to see parodies of well known poems there. I can see we are reaching the literary maturity to tackle bigger forms!)
Lt. 'Killer' M.
Deity
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2001
- Messages
- 7,475
What has happened to this thread?
All other poets gone to bed
to not return
so they can earn
the fame of 'poet vet'?
All other poets gone to bed
to not return
so they can earn
the fame of 'poet vet'?
When from vet we gain elite fame
We'll bash conscript poets to shame
To hell wih this thread, Let's put it to bed
And start a smart-ass succession game
(Eligible players would be tapped from significant contributors to this or any other notoriously funny thread. The point of the game would be to post the funniest report for your set of turns. Wouldn't have to be in limerick or poetic form - in fact that may be discouraged - but just something entertaining)
We'll bash conscript poets to shame
To hell wih this thread, Let's put it to bed
And start a smart-ass succession game
(Eligible players would be tapped from significant contributors to this or any other notoriously funny thread. The point of the game would be to post the funniest report for your set of turns. Wouldn't have to be in limerick or poetic form - in fact that may be discouraged - but just something entertaining)
To the poets there's no disrespect
But I think JollyRoger's correct
Though his bluntness sure stung
It's best to die when you're young
Rather than wither away from neglect
But I think JollyRoger's correct
Though his bluntness sure stung
It's best to die when you're young
Rather than wither away from neglect
Sultan Bhargash
Trickster Reincarnated
This thread may be quite near to "through"
And succession game may be what's new
Like the Beatles we'll go out
Instead of a blowout
Like the Rolling Stones or the Who...
If you do start a sucession game
I'd be happy to add in my name
But after Thanksgiving
(I am vacation living)
And only brought PTW disk cause I'm lame...
And succession game may be what's new
Like the Beatles we'll go out
Instead of a blowout
Like the Rolling Stones or the Who...
If you do start a sucession game
I'd be happy to add in my name
But after Thanksgiving
(I am vacation living)
And only brought PTW disk cause I'm lame...
BTW - @ JollyRoger re What would Jesus drive?
@ JollyRoger re What would Jesus drive?Similar threads
