Civ3 Limericks

[Zcylen]

Everyday I'm playing the game
and everyday reading the posts
always doing the same
I think this is driving me nutts

 

[Flak]

Disappointment did I have in store
By sending the wrong unit to explore
And so went my worker
He met a beserker
And now he's my worker no more

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

You will have an advantage of course
If your scout stands on their iron source
before improvements are made,
so that when you invade
They'll have archers and spearmen in force.

"Garbage City" on continent's tip,
Gather workers and let pop-rush rip,
You'll get barracks and vets
Till your tactic upsets
And your town goes in a culture flip.

I went to my science advisor,
He said "sir you are being a miser",
So I skipped temple-rent,
Science: hundred percent,
Now my kingdom is poorer, but wiser.

 

[Bobela XII]

Genghis Khan was a leader with guts
But his face looked like his dogs' butts
The ladies didn't like Mr. Khan
Except for a lady who at too many bon-bons
She was Catherine the great who was nuts

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

Speaking of Catherine, the Russian's leader,
You may ask "Why the heck do we need her?"
Well, they polled apparatchiks
Who all said "no fat chicks"
And Sid, who hates Commies, mvp'd her!

 

[Bobela XII]

I always thought Abe was an honest guy
And that he would never tell a lie
Then I heard something that blew me off my seat
My advisor said Abe was a known liar and cheat
So then I told Abe he must die

 

[JollyRoger]

My tribute to Catherine the Great
You may note has come very late
When we finally ditched Joan and spent time alone
I found she was worth the weight

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

Originally posted by JollyRoger
My tribute to Catherine the Great
You may note has come very late
When we finally ditched Joan and spent time alone
I found she was worth the weight

GENIUS!

In a similar vein:

Cleopatra made me feel quite lewd,
While I waited to see her get nude,
In the modern era
I backed off in terror
It turns out that chick is a dude!

 

[Grey Fox]

I once had a neighbour
I don't anymore
Blood is the flavour
I shed on his floor

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

Some of these are not limericks. This isn't the Civ3 free verse thread! I understand that to those who aren't from the original English language/English culture this thead might not be as cute or make as much sense.

A limerick has a specific rhythm, that rhythm alone can make something that isn't funny, funny. We all know "There once was a man from Nantucket", the classic limerick, and every time I read one of these I think of that and laugh.

A limerick has 5 lines, and a rhyme scheme of AABBA, a rhythm of

ba da ba da ba, ba da ba ba
ba da ba da ba, ba da ba ba
ba da ba da ba
ba da ba da ba
ba da ba da ba, ba da ba (optional extra ba)


Now back to work on them!

 

[docceh]

Kudos to Sultan for the rythme explanation!


heehee

 

[Raijer]

There once was a leader named Mao
Who built his capital next to a cow
Extra food and a shield
Wasn't all it would yield
It contented one near-sighted scout

 

[Raijer]

Cleo loved Alex the Greek
Ran her hands down his brawny physique
Her eyes bugged when she probed
Somewhere under his robe
"My god, your unit is certainly unique!"

 

[JollyRoger]

Originally posted by Sultan Bhargash
Some of these are not limericks. This isn't the Civ3 free verse thread! I understand that to those who aren't from the original English language/English culture this thead might not be as cute or make as much sense.

A limerick has a specific rhythm, that rhythm alone can make something that isn't funny, funny. We all know "There once was a man from Nantucket", the classic limerick, and every time I read one of these I think of that and laugh.

A limerick has 5 lines, and a rhyme scheme of AABBA, a rhythm of

ba da ba da ba, ba da ba ba
ba da ba da ba, ba da ba ba
ba da ba da ba
ba da ba da ba
ba da ba da ba, ba da ba (optional extra ba)


Now back to work on them!

Not sure if I ever get the rhythm technically correct (I kind of do it by ear), but at least I can get the rhyme scheme mostly right (that's the best you can expect from a public education). Anyway, here's my latest, which may be of some interest to the Sultan (my apologies if the last name pronuciation is altered to fit the rhyme).

JRoger developed a rash,
That caused the Civ chicks to dash,
To that place for the cute, though of some ill repute,
The harem of Sultan Bhargash.

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

Originally posted by JollyRoger

JRoger developed a rash,
That caused the Civ chicks to dash,
To that place for the cute, though of some ill repute,
The harem of Sultan Bhargash.

Jolly Roger I beg you stay calm,
With my envoy I'll send you a balm,
Send me back your world map
And if your urge makes you snap
In the meanwhile, remember your palm!

 

[Raijer]

There once was a Roger most jolly
Who rhymed like Mohammed Ali
His Civ limericks ruled
Though just publicly schooled
Or the fact he found Ghandi a dolly

 

[Raijer]

And for the Sultan:

What we knew about limericks: nada
So Sultan taught us the whole enchilada
It worked like a dream
AABBA scheme,
And the rhythm ba da da ba ba (da)

 

[Bobela XII]

I just built an army of tanks
I attacked from across the river banks
There just one rifleman between me and the city
I thought the rifleman would be as harmless as a kitty
So I was surprised when he broke through my ranks

 

[Bobela XII]

Death does not happen to me
For from death I am free
The AI is not as lucky
Because I still may be sucky
But I have the reload ability you see

 

[Grey Fox]

Originally posted by Sultan Bhargash
Some of these are not limericks. This isn't the Civ3 free verse thread! I understand that to those who aren't from the original English language/English culture this thead might not be as cute or make as much sense.

A limerick has a specific rhythm, that rhythm alone can make something that isn't funny, funny. We all know "There once was a man from Nantucket", the classic limerick, and every time I read one of these I think of that and laugh.

A limerick has 5 lines, and a rhyme scheme of AABBA, a rhythm of

ba da ba da ba, ba da ba ba
ba da ba da ba, ba da ba ba
ba da ba da ba
ba da ba da ba
ba da ba da ba, ba da ba (optional extra ba)


Now back to work on them!

oh... had no Idea...