Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

[mayor]

A dog or cat always makes it better

 

[KaiserElectric]

Okay at first, but the end result leaves a lot to be desired.

 

[Kullervo]

The people who run it could be shady for all you know, but you're more or less pleased with the product anyway.

 

[strijder20]

Gives you sweet courses when beginning, disgusting ones a little bit later, a not really satisfying middle course, a pretty good one after it (although by that time, you're so full you don't really care anymore) and wisdom at the end.

 

[Optical]

You've thought of getting one, but in the end you just had fish and chips instead.

 

[W|M]

Whatever happens, there will be toilets involved

 

[Lord Baal]

Actually carbon-copy American dross, but with a veneer of condescending "culture."

 

[Zack]

Prone to explosive diarrhea.

 

[_random_]

Everyone pretends to understand each other when they don't and drowns the resulting confusion in sauce.

 

[Mise]

Made from whatever was found in the back alley.

Winner, cos it's a bit grim...

 

[Fr8monkey]

Yay, I won! Fill in the blank:

The one life lesson I got from playing Civilization was ___________.

 

[W|M]

Always eat snacks in moderation

 

[mayor]

that social unrest resulting from slavery is acceptable

 

[madviking]

The one life lesson I got from playing Civilization was ___________.

Celtic women are well endowed.

 

[Kullervo]

Actually carbon-copy American dross, but with a veneer of condescending "culture."

I was trying to say something like that, but I lacked the eloquence to put it that way. I ended up settling for a bit of a cop-out.

The one lesson I took from playing Civilization was: If I had the chance to b*gger everyone over with impunity, I would do so in a heartbeat.

 

[SamSniped]

Yay, I won! Fill in the blank:

The one life lesson I got from playing Civilization was...

...that teaching someone how to say their alphabet can get them to be your ally forever.

 

[Zack]

The one life lesson I got from playing Civilization was ___________.

that Gandhi was actually a terrorist

 

[Fr8monkey]

Gotta go with West India Man... Love that quote.

 

[W|M]

International diplomacy is like spicy food, ...

 

[Zack]

Results in painful crap.