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Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Narz, Aug 19, 2009.

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  1. Joecoolyo

    Joecoolyo 99% Lightspeed

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2008
    Messages:
    9,908
    Location:
    茨城県
    I like my women like I like my streetlights: Seeping through my window and keeping me up all night long, every night :mad:
     
  2. Zack

    Zack 99% hot gas

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2009
    Messages:
    16,749
    Location:
    insert joke
    I like my women like I like my streetlights: as inanimate objects.
     
  3. mechaerik

    mechaerik Tuturuu!

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2008
    Messages:
    7,064
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    I like my women like I like my streetlights: on the corner.
     
  4. Mise

    Mise isle of lucy

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2004
    Messages:
    28,622
    Location:
    London, UK
    I like my women like I like my streetlights: convenient recipient of the excess bodily fluids of drunk men.
     
  5. Sharwood

    Sharwood Rich, doctor nephew

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2008
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    A little place outside Atlanta
    Onion, you're up.
     
  6. Zack

    Zack 99% hot gas

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2009
    Messages:
    16,749
    Location:
    insert joke
    Onion? You there?
     
  7. mechaerik

    mechaerik Tuturuu!

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2008
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    7,064
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Its only been a day, give him some time. He probably hasn't checked this forum yet.
     
  8. Joecoolyo

    Joecoolyo 99% Lightspeed

    Joined:
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    Location:
    茨城県
    Yeah, I don't think Onion's coming...

    How about this:

    Life is like a new car....
     
  9. Dreadnought

    Dreadnought Deity

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2004
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    6,897
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    New Jersey, USA
    Life is like a new car, it gets old real fast.
     
  10. Godwynn

    Godwynn March to the Sea

    Joined:
    May 17, 2003
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    20,498
    Life is like a new car, at some point a woman will be in control and drive you up a wall.
     
  11. Dumanios

    Dumanios MLG

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2008
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    4,885
    Life is like a new car,it all goes well until you crash
     
  12. Zack

    Zack 99% hot gas

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2009
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    16,749
    Location:
    insert joke
    Life is like a new car: I have neither.
     
  13. Perfection

    Perfection The Great Head.

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2002
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    Location:
    Salisbury Plain
    Life is like a new car: you think yours is awesome, but noone else gives a crap.
     
  14. Mise

    Mise isle of lucy

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2004
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    28,622
    Location:
    London, UK
    Life is like a new car: tens of thousands of people have one exactly like yours.
     
  15. Joecoolyo

    Joecoolyo 99% Lightspeed

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2008
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    9,908
    Location:
    茨城県
    :lol:

    Mise, your up!
     
  16. dwaxe

    dwaxe is not a fanatic

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2007
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    1,506
    Location:
    The Internet
    I think it would help if the person who chooses the winner PMs the winner...
     
  17. Mise

    Mise isle of lucy

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2004
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    28,622
    Location:
    London, UK
    Ima open floor it cos I won't be around much this month.
     
  18. Lord Baal

    Lord Baal Deity

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2009
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    7,291
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    Canaan
    I'll take it.

    Life is like an internet connection.
     
  19. Perfection

    Perfection The Great Head.

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2002
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    49,824
    Location:
    Salisbury Plain
    Life is like an internet connection you hope it involves hooking up with saucy ladies, but it generally involves hanging out with other losers and watching porn.
     
  20. shortguy

    shortguy It's a working title

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
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    2,913
    Location:
    the hook
    Life is like an internet connection--it opens you up to a whole world of new things, most of which give you viruses.
     
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